It's not always easy to crack open the Word of God -- you've got more important things to do, like browse TikTok. So, it's important to have a plan of attack to make sure you read the Bible at least a little bit each day. Luckily for you, your friends at The Babylon Bee are way more spiritual than you are, and today we've got some 🔥 tips for reading your Bible.
Here they are:
Consider getting a hip translation with cool words like "yeet" and "sheeesh." -- How can you experience the eternal Word of God if it's not cool and hip?
Get an audio Bible read by William Shatner. -- In... the beginning... God... created... the heavens... and... the earth...
Make sure to set aside at least seven seconds a day to read the Bible. -- It's important to dedicate a few short seconds to the Lord before you spend the rest of the day on social media.
Spend most of your devotional time trying to get a good picture of your Bible next to a cup of coffee for your Insta. -- Now that you've got a few seconds with the Lord, spend the entire time live-tweeting your devos and getting that perfect Instagram shot.
Look for creative ways to rip verses out of context and make them all about you. -- Get creative! Read a verse about ancient Israel or Jews in the first century and think, "How can I make this all about me?"
When your kids try to interrupt you, shout "NOT TODAY, SATAN!" -- Pair this maneuver with a cross formation using your fingers for maximum impact.
Underline the entire book so no verses feel left out. -- The more underlining, the more spiritual you are.
Whenever you read a really convicting verse, make sure to apply it to everyone else instead of yourself. -- This is an important one. If you read a verse that convicts you of sin in your life, just think how much Becky from Bible study needs to change her life instead of you. It's better this way.
But wait! There's more! This part isn't satire! In all seriousness, do you need to read your Bible more? Of course you do, you sinner. Try listening or reading along to God's Word using Dwell, the most creative Bible experience available in the App and Google Play Store. It's never too late to cultivate a holy habit, and Dwell makes it easy and enjoyable. Try it out today for 33% off!
