I hope you're having a great time with whatever you do and celebrate this time of year. Me, I go with Christmas. All the way. We decorate the cedar tree outside, tear up when Linus gives his speech, and everything that goes with it. And judge me if you will, but I don't even mind the cheesiness and commercialization and traffic. There's an energy in it that I like. And so what if a few more stores finish the year in the black? So with that spirit in mind, combined with the spirit of not taking ourselves too seriously, I have just a few more gifts of the figurative kind to hand out. Let's see how many of news references below that you remember (and whether the recipients brought their senses of humor into the holiday season):
To James Spann: a spring with neither tornadoes to cover nor questions about retirement. (When Nick Saban retired early in the year, folks were really concerned about losing their Alabama icons.) To the next Birmingham Police chief: a department full of officers and more witnesses that side with the law over those who are dragging down their neighborhoods. To Rick and Bubba: (upon the end of their show together) all the gray matter between our ears that's been occupied for decades by that dang theme song. To Charles Barkley: regardless of the future of "Inside the NBA," a microphone permanently installed on his collar so we can keep listening in. (Wait a minute. That's actually a gift for news media outlets in Alabama and sports media outlets everywhere.) To Sens. Tommy Tuberville and Katie Britt: the undying affection of President-Elect Donald Trump. Or at least a reminder -- on seasonal gold-leaf stationery -- how things started and how things turned out for some of Alabama's more conservative past lawmakers. To former Sen. Jeff Sessions and Congressman Mo Brooks: seasonal golf-leaf stationery upon which to send reminders. To Birmingham-Southern baseball players: the respect owed them for outlasting all but a handful of Division III ball teams AND their own university, which closed operations just before they reached the Division III College World Series. To Sylacauga High football coach and recreational Gulf kayaker Chris Smelley: an outboard motor. To all currently frozen embryos: a healthy future birth to demanding yet kind and patient parents who then buy a winning Mega Millions ticket on a trip to Florida. To Nick Saban: a mute button for Pat McAfee. To Vulcan Materials: Future business in Mexico that doesn't involve military takeovers. To Lulu Gribbin: continued healing and courage as she takes on life as a shark-attack survivor and a walking, smiling inspiration. And (staying in Mountain Brook) to Connor Padgett: A ceramic urn from which to easily escape during this New Year's Eve celebration. | 