1.  Cuomo Plays Bizarre Pic Montage to Show He Touches Everyone

 NO BIGGIE 

“I actually learnt it from my mother and my father,” he claimed.

2.  Accomplished Cybersecurity Exec Allegedly Murdered by Son

  HORRIFIC 

When cops caught up with suspect Andrew Beavers in Virginia, he had a “fresh laceration on his right hand... which he would not explain,” said police.

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3.  Save Up to 50% Off on Nike Favorites Right Now

 SWOOSH 

From running shoes to workout gear, Nike is having a massive sale right now.

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4.  Passenger Duct-Taped to Seat After Groping Flight Crew: Vid

 SOMETHING SPECIAL IN THE AIR 

At one point, the out-of-control 22-year-old reportedly wandered the cabin shirtless after spilling a drink on himself.

5.  Olympian Raven Saunders’ Mom Dies Days After Silver Win

 GUARDIAN ANGEL 

“My mama was a great woman and will forever live through me,” Saunders wrote on social media after the news of her mother’s death became public.

6.  This Little Press Made My Hamburgers So Much Better

 BURGER OF THE DAY 

As opposed to just smushing burgers with your hands, this press helps me make a consistent burger every single time.

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7.  Lawyer Admits R. Kelly Had ‘Sexual Contact’ With Aaliyah

 DAMAGE CONTROL 

The admission came during a final pre-trial hearing on Tuesday before the disgraced R&B singer’s trial begins in Brooklyn.

8.  MN Man Killed Woman After She Played With Stun Gun: Cops

 OVERREACTION 

Me’darian McGruder was charged Monday but he has not been located.

9.  NY County Proposal Could Spur Police Retaliation: Activists

 PAYBACK? 

“This is intended to evoke fear in the community…This is payback,” said civil rights lawyer Frederick Brewington.

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10.  AP Names Its First President of Color in 175-Year History

 PROGRESS 

Daisy Veerasingham is the first person of color and the first woman to lead the outlet.

11.  Chipmunks Around Lake Tahoe Test Positive for Plague

  SAFETY FIRST 

No humans are infected but wildlife officials will begin vector treatments before guests can return over the weekend.

12.  Cop Dies After Being Stabbed at Pentagon Transit Station

 DEVELOPING 

The Pentagon was on lockdown Tuesday morning after reports of gunfire at a nearby bus station.

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13.  California Hiker Killed by Lightning Strike

 TRAGIC BLAST 

Nicholas Torchia was hiking along Fresno’s John Muir Trail when a lightning bolt hit the tree he was leaning against.

14.  Tyson Foods Requires All 120,000 Workers to Get COVID-19 Vax

 REQUIRED 

“It is abundantly clear that getting vaccinated is the single most effective thing we can do to protect ourselves,” said Chief Executive Donnie King.

15.  Iceberg Wall Collapses at Titanic Museum, Injuring Three

 CURSED 

The museum lets customers physically touch the iceberg.

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