1. ‘Drunk’ Rudy Told Trump on Election Night: Just Say You Won

  WINED AND DINED 

A new book says Giuliani “may have been drinking too much” when he came up with a bold strategy for Trump.

2. ‘Don’t Shoot!’: Taliban Executes 22 Unarmed Afghan Fighters

 ‘I BEG YOU’ 

The video shows Taliban fighters screaming “Surrender, commandos! Surrender!” as unarmed soldiers hold up their hands.

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3. Cheers to Summer With Bacardí Cocktails

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Celebrate this summer with Bacardí’s Cocktail Courier Kit! The party will be delivered right to your doorstep with flavorful cocktails that make any celebration special.

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4. Top TN Vaccine Official Fired as Delta Variant Surges

 'WILL NOT SIT QUIETLY' 

Michelle Fiscus says she was axed as a scapegoat to appease lawmakers miffed at efforts to get teens to take the shot.

5. Trump Pick Who Vowed to Ignore Firing Whines: I Can’t Log In

 ACCESS DENIED 

Andrew Saul threatened that he’d continue his work after being fired from the Social Security Administration by the Biden administration.

6. I Don’t Leave the House Without This Super Sunscreen

 SAVING FACE 

Wearing sunscreen can keep your skin healthy years down the line, and Dr. Loretta’s Urban Antioxidant Sunscreen also makes you look good right now.

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7. Confused Olympics Chief Refers to Japanese People as Chinese

 YIKES 

Bach’s error wasn’t translated by the interpreters next to him, but it has been picked up by Japanese media.

8. Bill Gates Opens Up About Divorce During Q&A Session: Report

 EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER 

The billionaire reportedly welled up at the “summer camp for billionaires”—where he also allegedly behaved like a “total asshole.”

9. 60+ Killed as Fire Rages Through Iraqi Coronavirus Ward

 ‘BIG EXPLOSION’ 

Angry protesters have arrived at the scene after a fire ripped through the hospital’s newly built isolation unit.

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10. Judge Approves $73M Settlement in Ex-UCLA Doc Sex Abuse Case

 SETTLED 

Dr. James Heaps allegedly groped thousands of women between 1983 and 2018 while working as a gynecologist at UCLA.

11. ‘Night Court’ Actor Charlie Robinson Dies at 75

 R.I.P. 

The actor, who died of complications of cardiac arrest and cancer, is survived by his wife and four children.

12. Mel Gibson Caught Dramatically Saluting Trump at UFC Fight

 DADDY’S HOME 

The controversial actor was spotted in a TikTok video giving the former president an aggressive military salute as he walked into the match.

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13. ESPN Host ‘Sorry’ for Criticizing Ohtani’s Interpreter Use

 ‘SINCERELY SORRY’ 

Stephen A. Smith had suggested the Angels superstar shouldn’t be the face of baseball because he “needs an interpreter so you can understand what the hell he’s saying.”

14. U.S. Informants Were Involved in Haiti Assassination: CNN

 PLOT THICKENS 

At least one person involved in the plot had reportedly been an informant for the Drug Enforcement Administration.

15. Sacha Baron Cohen Sues Cannabis Company Over Ad Using Borat

 ‘WOULD NEVER’ 

“He never would participate in an advertising campaign for cannabis, for any amount of money.”

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