1. Irish Fishermen Plan Showdown With Russian Navy

2022 WILDCARD

Ireland’s fishing industry has already taken “as much as it can possibly take” and says it is not about to let Russia’s Navy harm important marine life in upcoming drills.

WORLD

2. Bollywood Star Finally Cleared After Icky Richard Gere Kiss

‘GROUNDLESS’

Arrest warrants for both actors were issued after the 2007 kiss. The charges against Gere were quickly dropped, but Shila Shetty’s case moldered in the courts until this week.

ENTERTAINMENT

3. This Meal Delivery Service Is Nutritious and Delicious

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SCOUTED

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4. Oath Keepers Boss Pleads Not Guilty to Sedition Charges

‘CIVIL WAR’

The conspiracy case is set to go to trial this summer, pending “ongoing discussions” around plea deals.

U.S. NEWS

5. PA Woman in Hospital After Monkey Escapee Hisses in Her Face

MONKEY MAYHEM

The cynomolgus monkeys escaped when a truck crashed on a Pennsylvania highway on Friday night.

U.S. NEWS

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6. Purple Makes the Best Seat Cushion for Any Chair

SITTIN’ PRETTY

Working from home meant an uncomfortable chair, before I found this cushion.

SCOUTED

7. DeSantis Blasts ‘Sudden’ Halt on Ineffective Antibody Drugs

ANGRY FLORIDA MAN

The treatments’ makers themselves had admitted their drugs were much less effective against the Omicron variant.

U.S. NEWS

8. Coronavirus Denier and Bolsonaro Ally Dies of COVID

‘MAY GOD FORGIVE HIM’

Olavo de Carvalho touted the virus as the “moronavirus,” an attitude the Brazilian president also held throughout the pandemic.

WORLD

9. Elton John Tests Positive For COVID, Postpones Dallas Shows

ROCKET MAN DOWN

The crooner had only just restarted his “Farewell Yellow Brick Road” tour last week.

ENTERTAINMENT

10. Young Dad Denied Heart Transplant for Refusing to Be Vaxxed

BEST ODDS

Brigham and Women’s Hospital said he was removed from the transplant list because his unvaxxed status could affect his “survival after transplantation.”

U.S. NEWS

11. NJ Cop Gets $120K After Boss ‘Beat Him With Chopsticks’

BATTLE’S OVER

Samuel Kim, who now works for a different police department, filed a lawsuit last July.

U.S. NEWS

12. Trump Lawyer Took the Fifth to 146 Riot Panel Questions: CNN

KEEPING SHTUM

John Eastman was the author of a notorious memo on reversing the 2020 election.

POLITICS

13. 39 Missing After ‘Human Smuggling’ Boat Capsizes Off Florida

TERRIFYING

“No one was wearing a life jacket,” the only survivor told agents with the Coast Guard.

U.S. NEWS

14. Cops Find 100 Pairs of Stolen Underwear in Man’s Home

CREEPY

Authorities believe John Hawkins III targeted mobile homes in a string of burglaries last year.

U.S. NEWS

15. Putin’s Message to Russian Olympians Wins Gold for Irony

‘EQUALITY AND FAIRNESS’

He gave a speech Tuesday to the country’s Olympic athletes, who are banned from competing under the country’s flag due to widespread doping.

WORLD

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