1.  Lawyer: Claims Laundrie’s Parents Planted Evidence ‘Hogwash’

 BALDERDASH! POPPYCOCK! 

Within hours of Chris and Roberta Laundrie joining the search for their son, human remains, a backpack, and a notebook were found.

2.  Ex-Plastic Surgeon Finally Admits Tossing Wife Out of Plane

  IT’S ABOUT TIME 

“I wanted her to stop yelling at me, and I attacked her,” he said at a parole board hearing.

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3.  Become a Fan of Cold-Weather Hiking. Click Here.

 AD BY SALOMON 

Don’t let colder temperatures stop you from doing what you love.

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4.  Florida Probing Private Academy That Shuns Vaxxed Kids

 SCHOOLED 

The state education department sent administrators a sternly worded letter, explaining they could lose funding.

5.  Texas Lt. Guv Pays Dem Poll Worker First Voter-Fraud Reward

 PAY UP, SUCKER 

Eric Frank was rewarded with $25,000 after flagging a 72-year-old Republican who voted twice.

6.  Giesswein’s Eco-Friendly Flats Are Cozier Than Rothy’s

 WALK THIS WAY 

These eco-friendly flats are so gorgeous you'll literally want to wear them everywhere.

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7.  Epstein’s Ranch Had Huge Computer Rooms for Spying: Victim

 ALWAYS WATCHING 

Maria Farmer claims Epstein told her about the massive rooms which were “bigger than houses.”

8.  Students Sue Texas School District Over Long Hair Ban

 HEAD UP, HAIR DOWN 

The lawsuit alleges the district has violated the students’ constitutional rights by imposing “stereotypical” gender norms on them.

9.  Alabama Set to Execute Man With IQ of 64 for 1991 Murder

 LETHAL INJECTION 

Willie B. Smith, 52, will be given a lethal injection for abducting and murdering the 22-year-old sister of a police officer.

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10.  Ex-Cop Who Shot Unarmed 911 Caller Gets 57 Months

 ‘POORLY WRITTEN LAW’ 

Mohamed Noor, the first Minnesota officer convicted of murder for an on-duty shooting, will now serve 57 months in prison for manslaughter.

11.  CDC: These Onions Are Causing a Literal Shi*storm

  STOMACH CHURNING 

The feds say onions from ProSource caused a salmonella outbreak—and people should avoid all onions unless they know the source.

12.  Is Miami Commissioner Trolling With ‘Adopt-a-Homeless’ Plan?

 HE’S GOT TO BE KIDDING 

He suggested it sarcastically at a recent meeting and now has turned it into a formal resolution.

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13.  Largest Triceratops Fossil Ever Discovered Sells for $8M

 ATTABOY 

The 66-million-year-old dinosaur fossil doesn’t look a day over 65 million.

14.  Aspiring Cops Arrive at Job Interview to Find Morgan Freeman

 SURPRISE! 

The famous actor interviewed the nine final candidates for a job with the Gulf Shores Police Department.

15.  Man Admits to Drunkenly Shutting Down Local Water System

 WHOOPS 

The 22-year-old man, a former employee of the region’s water plant, allegedly told investigators he was “so intoxicated he didn’t remember anything.”

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