1.  Melania Privately Trashes Trump Trial as a ‘Disgrace’: NYT

 NOT BEST 

She’d reportedly told those close to her it’s “his problem” but that doesn’t mean she thinks it’s fair.

POLITICS

2.  Juror Dishes After Getting Dismissed From Trump Jury Pool

  ‘JUST A DUDE’ 

The seemingly “larger-than-life” ex-president is no different than anyone else, Kara McGee told CNN.

POLITICS

Michelin-Star Chefs Are Obsessed With This Algae Cooking Oil

  SUSTAINABLE COOKING 

Chef Daniel Humm has named it one of the products he can’t live without.

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3.  Trump Team Scheming to Devalue Dollar if He Wins: Report

 DOLLAR DOWN 

It’s an aggressive move designed to reduce the trade deficit—but risks losing the dollar’s coveted status as world reserve currency.

POLITICS

4.  Bollywood Star’s Home Shot Up Over 1998 Killing of Antelopes

 BANG FOR THE BUCK 

Two suspects in the attack reportedly belong to a gang from a religious sect for which the animals hold a special significance.

WORLD

These CBN Gummies Are Formulated to Help You *Stay* Asleep

 “TOMORROW STARTS TONIGHT” 

According to a recent study, when CBN is taken without CBD, it may help you sleep through the night and experience fewer disturbances.

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5.  Space Junk Crashed Into Florida Home, NASA Says

 WHOOPS 

“The hardware was expected to fully burn up during entry through Earth’s atmosphere on March 8, 2024.”

U.S. NEWS

6.  Alarms Went Off on Ship Hours Before Bridge Crash: Report

 WARNING SIGNS 

The Dali had not even left port when the alarms were triggered.

U.S. NEWS

7.  DOJ Gears Up to Bring Ticketmaster Antitrust Lawsuit: Report

 STAGE IS SET 

The case could be filed as early as May.

U.S. NEWS

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8.  GOP Event Cut Off Rob Schenider’s Bad Stand-Up: Report

 COMEDY BITES 

The Adam Sandler-adjacent comedian was booted offstage ten minutes into a set that was reportedly so “gross and vulgar” that it prompted a junior senator to walk out.

ENTERTAINMENT

9.  NY Philharmonic Benches Musicians Amid Sex Assault Scandal

  ‘STRONG FEELINGS’ 

Matthew Muckey and Liang Wang were fired by the orchestra in 2018 after a female musician accused them of sexual misconduct. They were reinstated two years later.

ARTS AND CULTURE

10.  Caitlin Clark Finally Learns Which WNBA Team She’ll Join

 ‘TRYING TO SOAK IT IN’ 

“I got a little anxious there before the pick,” Clark said after the announcement.

ENTERTAINMENT

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11.  Trump Loses Another $500M as Truth Social Spiral Worsens

 SLIP AND SLIDE 

Shares of the social media site plunged another 19 percent on Monday.

U.S. NEWS

12.  Courtney Love Majorly Disses Taylor Swift

 ‘NOT IMPORTANT’ 

The former “Hole” singer took shots at Swift, as well as Lana Del Rey and Madonna, in a new interview with The Standard.

ENTERTAINMENT

13.  Johnny Depp Eyes Historic $4M Italian Castle: Report

 A MAN’S HOME… 

The mayor of the tiny town the castle overlooks said that he wasn’t sure if a celebrity buying it “would be the right ‘economic synergy’ for the community.”

ENTERTAINMENT

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