1.  Michael Jordan Speaks Out on Rumored Trump Endorsement

 PICKING A SIDE? 

Many celebrities, even in the sports world, have chosen a side in this election.

POLITICS

2.  Teen in Trump Shirt Charged With Punching Elderly Harris Fan at Women’s March

 ‘ANTAGONIZING’ 

“He punched me in the gut and knocked me on the ground,” said Kathleen Tomasko, the alleged victim.

POLITICS

This New THC-Infused Seltzer Gets You Buzzed Without Booze

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Cycling Frog’s new THC seltzers have something for both seasoned users and newcomers alike.

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3.  Nervous Lawmaker Has MAGA Disguise in Case of Election Violence

 NO JOKE 

Regardless of the election’s outcome, the Department of Homeland Security already designated Jan. 6 as a “national special security event.”

POLITICS

4.  Mysterious ‘Little Golden Mushroom’ Honors Trump’s Anatomy

 VERY BIG AND NORMAL 

The monument references Stormy Daniels’ description of the former president’s manhood.

POLITICS

Knix Just Launched the First Fully-Customizable Shapewear Line

 SHAPIN’ UP TO BE GREAT 

The new PerfectCut collection is designed to fit and flatter any body and expand your existing wardrobe.

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5.  Diddy’s 55th Birthday Menu Behind Bars Revealed

 CARB HEAVY 

There’s no cake in federal prison for the disgraced rapper.

U.S. NEWS

6.  The One Celeb Endorsement for Harris That ‘Disappointed’ Trump

 AMERICA’S SWEETHEART 

Trump predicted the Oscar-winning actress will “look back and cringe.”

MEDIA

7.  Stats Guru Nate Silver Reveals Which Candidate Has Momentum in Final Push

 LAST CALL 

The elections data analyst nevertheless said he doesn‘t think Vice President Kamala Harris has better than a “50/50 shot.”

POLITICS

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8.  Ben Affleck Heaps Praise on J.Lo Amid Messy Divorce

 KEEPING IT PROFESSIONAL 

Affleck said his ex was “spectacular” in her new film “Unstoppable,” which he helped produce.

OBSESSED

9.  Conservative Texas Megachurch Pastor Backs Harris in Last-Minute Op-Ed

 CHARACTER COUNTS 

Dwight McKissic, the pastor of Cornerstone Baptist Church in Arlington, Texas, also participated in an “Evangelicals for Harris” event earlier this year.

POLITICS

10.  All Broadway Theaters to Dim Lights for Tony-Winning Star Gavin Creel After Backlash

 CELEBRATION OF LIFE 

The full dimming follows an outcry over a partial dimming planned by the Broadway League. There will also be a memorial celebration of the Tony Award-winning actor’s life.

CULTURE

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11.  Mark Zuckerberg’s Nuclear-Powered AI Plan Ruined by Bees

 BUZZKILL 

Turned out that a project for a new data center had a sting in the tail.

U.S. NEWS

12.  ‘Holy S**t’: Coldplay Star Chris Martin Falls Through Stage Trap Door

 TROUBLE 

The British singer was speaking to the crowd and walking backwards when he took a dive down the hole.

WORLD

13.  Secret Service, Cops Ramp Up Security Measures in D.C. Ahead of Election

 BUNKERING DOWN 

The “enhancements” are “part of wide ranging public safety preparations for Tuesday’s election,” the Secret Service said.

POLITICS

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