1.  NFL Teams Now Face Forfeits, Fines Over Unvaxxed Outbreaks

 NOT MESSING AROUND 

The league announced new rules on Thursday that should encourage players to get vaccinated.

2.  ‘Trumper’ Bob Dole Admits He’s Finally ‘Trumped Out’

  THANK YOU 

The 98-year-old Republican said Trump “lost the election”—and “never had one bit of fraud in all those lawsuits he filed and statements he made.”

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3.  This Is the Organic Food Your Pet Should Be Eating

 AD BY OPEN FARM 

Healthy food for your dog. Affordable prices for you. It’s a win-win.

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4.  ‘Sovereign Citizens’ Accused of Moving Into Woman’s Mansion

 AGAIN? 

It’s the latest home-squatting attempt by the pseudolegal conspiracy movement.

5.  Cardinals’ Hopkins Might Ditch NFL Over COVID Vax Memo

 ‘QUESTION MY FUTURE’ 

“Being put in a position to hurt my team because I don’t want to partake in the vaccine is making me question my future in the @NFL,” the wide receiver wrote.

6.  This Little Tool Has Killed All of the Mosquitos in My Yard

 SHOO FLY 

Maybe the best way to deal with mosquitos is to kill them before they happen?

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7.  ‘13 Reasons Why Star’ Tommy Dorfman Announces She’s Trans

 ‘LIVE AUTHENTICALLY’ 

The actress said she’s excited to play “trans women, cis women, women in general.”

8.  Smallest DNA Sample in History Helps Solve Vegas Teen Murder

 CLOSURE 

Stephanie Isaacson went missing in 1989 and was later found dead after being strangled and sexually assaulted.

9.  Did Unvaxxed Doc on Czech Flight Cause Olympic COVID Spike?

 RUINING IT FOR EVERYONE 

Five members of the Czech delegation, including three athletes and an unvaccinated doctor, tested positive for COVID upon arrival in Japan.

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10.  Philly Cop Caught on Body Cam Trying to Delete Arrest Vid

 CHARGED 

Tyree Burnett is facing charges for attempted tampering after he tried to delete the video from Jacob Giddings’ phone in March.

11.  Bestiality Suspect Claimed ‘It’s Not What It Looks Like’

  NEIGH MEANS NEIGH 

Ryan Dodd, a former member of the Canadian Armed Forces, was found guilty of attempted bestiality and breaking into the barn.

12.  Passengers Recall Terror as Chinese Subway Flooded

 ‘HARD TO BREATHE’ 

The flooding left at least 12 people dead.

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13.  Google Boss Decamped to Off-Limits Island During Pandemic

 ESCAPE HATCH 

Larry Page may have even have bought his own Fijian island, according to a report.

14.  U.S. Volleyball Star Tests Positive for COVID at Olympics

 SPIKED 

He’s the fifth U.S. athlete to be sidelined after contracting the coronavirus.

15.  Florida AG Gets COVID Days After Border Trip With DeSantis

 ‘BE VIGILANT’ 

As Florida—now home to one out of every five new cases of COVID-19 in the U.S.—experiences yet another virus surge.

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