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1. Passenger Tragically Dies on Flight From Paris to Boston

 MID-FLIGHT EMERGENCY 

The passenger fell ill shortly after the Air France plane departed from Paris to Boston.

WORLD

2. D.C. Hotels Are Offering Wildly Luxurious Trump Inauguration Packages

 HOW MUCH?! 

One costing $350,000 includes a four-night stay, two butlers, and airfare for your pet.

U.S. NEWS

Elevate Your Workspace With HP’s Newest Laser Printer

 PAPER CHASE 

The HP LaserjetPro MFP 3101sdw is another dependable, high-quality option from America’s premier printer brand.

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3. Bride in Viral $59M Wedding Says She’s Pregnant as Hubby Faces Jail

 LET THEM EAT CAKE 

Millions of social media users watched Madelaine Brockway and Jacob LaGrone got married in Paris—and then learned LaGrone was facing up to 25 years in jail.

U.S. NEWS

4. TikTok Gears Up for ‘Immediate’ U.S. Shutdown on Sunday

 FAREWELL 

Users will reportedly no longer be able to open the social media app on Jan. 19.

TECH

Bring a Personal Trainer Anywhere With This 360 Fitness App

 FITNESS SCIENCE 

Research-based programs that are supported by professional coaches (not AI) who check in regularly to keep you motivated.

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5. Mark Zuckerberg Preps for MAGA 2.0 by Culling Thousands of Meta Employees

 DISPOSABLE 

According to the company’s latest financial report, some 3,600 workers could face the chop.

U.S. NEWS

6. South Korean Leader Arrested After Weeks-Long Standoff

 BUSTED 

Over 3,000 police marched on Yoon Suk Yeol’s residence to dramatically detain him.

WORLD

7. Drake Drops Legal Action Over Kendrick Lamar Diss Track

 WRAP IT UP 

He had accused Universal Music and Spotify of conspiring to increase the popularity of “Not Like Us.”

U.S. NEWS

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8. Coca-Cola CEO Makes Trump’s Diet Coke Dreams Come True

 HIS ONE TRUE LOVE 

The Coca-Cola company had a surprise gift for the president-elect ahead of his inauguration.

POLITICS

9. Russian Tennis Star Smashes Camera in Australian Open Outburst

 OFF THE RAILS 

Daniil Medvedev received a warning for racket abuse.

WORLD

10. Italian Soccer Club Fires Falconer for Posting Pics of His X-Rated Implant

 NSFW 

The falconer was previously suspended by the club for chanting fascist Italian leader Benito Mussolini’s nickname at the end of a match.

WORLD

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11. Caitlin Clark’s Alleged Stalker Won’t Shut Up During Court Hearing

 WEIRD 

Immediately after stepping foot in the courtroom, Michael Lewis said “guilty as charged.”

U.S. NEWS

12. ‘Second Buddy’ Mark Zuckerberg Plans Big Party for His New Pal Trump

 RED CARPET TREATMENT 

An invitation reveals that the billionaire Meta CEO plans to roll out the red carpet for MAGA’s elite in an exclusive ball.

TECH

13. DeSantis and Trump Golf as Key Decision Looms

 BOGEY MAN 

The two politicians from Florida met as a plum position opened up in the state.

POLITICS

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