1.  ‘Santa-Like Antics’ Lead to Man Stuck in Chimney and His Arrest

 'TIS THE SEASON 

A Massachusetts man tried to hide in a chimney when police appeared with a search warrant.

U.S. NEWS

2.  ‘American Psycho’ Remake Names New Patrick Bateman

 PATRICK BATEMAN 2.0 

Luca Guadagnino plans to put his spin on the 2000 movie based on Bret Easton Ellis’ novel of the same name.

OBSESSED

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3.  Netflix Star Dies at 37 After Mysterious Illness

 GONE SO SOON 

José de la Torre was diagnosed with an unspecified illness and began receiving treatment in June.

OBSESSED

4.  Man Who Vaulted Judge’s Bench to Attack Her Sent to Prison for Decades

 ILL-ADVISED 

“I’m not a bad person and I know that I did not intend to kill Mary Kay Holthus,” Deobra Redden, 31, told a Nevada court before he was sentenced.

U.S. NEWS

HP’s Premium Photo Printer Is $70 Off for a Limited Time

 DEAL ALERT 

HP’s luxe Envy Inspire 7955e printer is on major sale right now.

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5.  Brandi Glanville Reveals Facial Swelling Knocked Out Some of Her Teeth

 HEALTH STRUGGLE 

Brandi Glanville said that her stress-induced angioedema was caused by her sexual harassment lawsuit.

OBSESSED

6.  North Korea Unironically Calls South Korea a Dictatorship

 YOON BEING SERIOUS? 

Kim Jong Un’s state media is somehow claiming South Korea is the only totalitarian state on the peninsula.

WORLD

7.  Non-Spanish Speaker Wins Spanish Scrabble World Title

 NO HABLO ESPAÑOL 

Spanish media have dubbed New Zealander Nigel Richard’s victory the “height of absurdity” after it was revealed he can’t actually speak the language.

WORLD

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8.  Luigi Mangione’s School Friend Reveals Why He Didn’t Recognize Him

 DEMOGRAPHIC DISGUISE 

Fred Leatherbury, who attended the Gilman School with the alleged CEO killer, spoke to Fox News.

U.S. NEWS

9.  Russell Brand Pops Up at Conspiracy Group’s Mar-a-Lago Gala

 POWER PLAYER? 

“What a wild place this is!” the comedian turned podcaster said of Trump’s resort.

POLITICS

10.  Donald Trump Jr. Is Thrilled About Dad Sending His Fiancée to Greece

 OUT OF SIGHT 

The younger Trump said he was “so proud” of Kimberly Guilfoyle—as pictures emerged of him with another woman.

POLITICS

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11.  Judge Stops The Onion From Purchasing Alex Jones’ InfoWars

 IN THE CRIB 

The late-night ruling left the future of Jones’ empire in question.

MEDIA

12.  ‘Delay, Deny, Defend’ Book Climbs Amazon Bestseller List

 ON THE RISE 

The book’s title is similar to words written on bullet casings found at the scene of Brian Thompson’s shooting.

U.S. NEWS

13.  Luigi Mangione’s Lawyer: ‘We’ve Made a Strong Bond’

 FIRST IMPRESSIONS 

Altoona defense lawyer Tom Dickey spoke to reporters after meeting Mangione for the first time Tuesday.

U.S. NEWS

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