1.  Uni Police Chief Quits Over Vile Comments About Mormon Rape

 BU-BYE 

Chief Earl Morris suggested that Latter-Day Saints women may accuse footballers of rape because they retroactively feel guilty about having sex.

2.  How Project Veritas Got Its Hands on Ashley Biden’s Diary

  TWISTING TALE 

The far-right group used the diary in an “extortionate attempt to secure an interview” with Joe Biden at the end of his campaign, according to his daughter’s lawyers.

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3.  Take $100 Off Select Ring Doorbell Bundles on Amazon RN

 RING ME 

If you haven’t invested in a best-selling ring doorbell, now’s the time to take the plunge while they're 30 percent off.

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4.  Kim K: I Regret Telling Kanye to Take His MAGA Hat Off

 SEEING RED 

“I respect the fact that he knew exactly what he believed in,” she told conservative journalist Bari Weiss in a podcast interview.

5.  Melania Releases Creepy NFT Art of Her ‘Cobalt Blue Eyes’

 GRIFT MEETS GRIFT 

For $150, the digital artwork comes with “an audio recording from Mrs. Trump with a message of hope.”

6.  This Top-Rated Weighted Blanket Is a Great Last-Minute Gift

 WEIGHT FOR IT 

Choose from six different cover colors to match whatever room you keep it in.

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7.  Civil Rights Icon Has Criminal Record Wiped for 1955 Protest

 ‘MY NAME WAS CLEARED’ 

Nine month before Rosa Parks, 15-year-old Claudette Colvin refused to give up her bus seat, saying “I could not move because history had me glued to the seat.”

8.  5-Year-Old Boy Hijacks Car to Buy Pink Tractor for Sister

 BABY, YOU CAN DRIVE MY CAR 

All hail the brother of the year.

9.  Dutch Royals: Sorry for Breaking COVID Rules at B-Day Bash

 BIRTHDAY BASHING 

Princess Amalia hosted 21 people in a park for her 18th birthday earlier this week, even as the Dutch government has advised the population to strictly limit gatherings.

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10.  Ben Affleck: Social Media Backlash ‘Hurts My Feelings, Man’

 ‘STUPID, AWFUL GUY’ 

“I would never want my kids to think I would ever say a bad word about their mom,” Affleck said, insisting comments in his two-hour interview had been taken out of context.

11.  NYC Mayor Will Bring Back Solitary Confinement at Rikers

  CRUEL 

“I’m not going to allow inmates and officers to be the victims of violent people,” Adams declared.

12.  Hubby Hit With Manslaughter for Making Drunk Wife Walk Home

 ‘MISCARRIAGE OF JUSTICE’ 

Jason Todd claims he was framed by a cop who charged him with manslaughter after his wife was hit by a car while walking home.

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13.  NYC Transport Official Busted for Blow-Up Doll in His Car

 CARPOOL KENNY-OKE 

Giulio Di Virgilio was gotcha’d by the New York Post, with reporters from the outlet confronting him as he pulled up to his office with the doll riding shotgun.

14.  Officials Plead for Help to Find Girl Missing After Tornado

 ‘WE NEED YOUR HELP’ 

Nyssa Brown’s parents, grandmother, and three siblings were all found dead after a tornado touched down early Saturday.

15.  Jaguars Boot Coach Urban Meyer Before End of First Season

 KICKER 

After months of off-the-field controversy, team owner Shad Khan announced that a change was “imperative for everyone.” The Jacksonville Jaguars are currently 2-11.

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