1.  You Won’t Believe Which Beer Kid Rock Was Just Seen Drinking

 WHAT BOYCOTT? 

Just four months ago, he kicked off a right-wing boycott of the beer for partnering with a transgender influencer

MEDIA

2.  Trump’s Co-Defendant Fumes at Proposed Trial Date in Georgia

  ‘TURGID’ 

“The District Attorney cannot now pretend as if this were a simple matter, such as a 2-page single-count indictment against a lone defendant,” his attorney said.

POLITICS

This Brand Harnesses Epigenetics to Formulate Its Skincare

  EPIGENETIC SKINCARE 

“A once-in-a-generation epigenetic breakthrough, powered by Genolytic technology. Proven to transform your skin in weeks.”

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3.  Proud Boy Vanishes Before Sentencing in Capitol Riot Case

 HOW CONVENIENT 

Christopher Worrell, who is facing up to 14 years behind bars, had been out on house arrest.

U.S. NEWS

4.  Trump Likely to Surrender in Georgia at Last Minute: Report

 RIP THE BAND-AID OFF 

Procrastination only makes the task harder.

POLITICS

Shark’s FlexStyle Wand Is a Solid Dyson Airwrap Alternative

 DIY BLOWOUT 

Dyson’s AirWrap is not only pretty pricey but also often sold out. Fortunately, we found a solid alternative that actually works better.

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5.  George Santos: ‘Most People’ Lie on Their Résumé Like Me

 ‘INSECURITIES’ 

“I want to be judged by the people who elected me,” he said.

POLITICS

6.  Newly Acquitted Kevin Spacey Celebrates With Elton John

 CHEERS 

The two buds broke bread a month after Spacey’s sexual assault trial ended in a not guilty verdict.

ENTERTAINMENT

7.  Alarming Details Emerge on Olympian Tori Bowie’s Struggles

 HEARTBREAKING 

Bowie was found dead in her Florida home in May after dying during childbirth.

ENTERTAINMENT

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8.  DeSantis Wants Drug Runners to Be Shot on Sight at Border

 EXTRAJUDICIAL KILLINGS 

“If you have somebody coming in with the fentanyl in the backpack, ... that’s the last thing they’re going to be able to do,” he said.

POLITICS

9.  Pastor Demolishes a Barbie House for Some Ungodly Reason

  R U OK? 

The sermon was quite chaotic, a little bit scary, and probably traumatizing for children.

U.S. NEWS

10.  Teen Person of Interest ID’d in Rape, Murder of Texas Girl

 MANHUNT 

Juan Carlos Garcia-Rodriguez was living in the same apartment complex where Maria Gonzalez’s body was found but has since disappeared, police said.

U.S. NEWS

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11.  Trump to Skip Fox News Debate to Hang With Tucker: NYT

 NO SHOW 

Trump is hoping to upstage the primetime Fox News event by sitting down with its now-fired biggest star over on the app formerly known as Twitter.

MEDIA

12.  Michael Cera Emailed Greta Gerwig to Land His ‘Barbie’ Role

 PRETTY IN PINK 

Cera said his manager got a call offering the role and said he likely wouldn’t do it. “I was like, ‘What? Call them back!’”

ENTERTAINMENT

13.  Cops Say Missing Toddler’s Dad Lied About Armed Kidnapping

 SO MANY QUESTIONS 

Artavious North told a 911 operator that his son was abducted at gunpoint, but police say there’s no evidence to back that up.

U.S. NEWS

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