Plus, how to respond when someone tells you that story… again.
| AUGUST 31, 2022 • VOL. 20 ISSUE 35 | | | Hi John,
Do you find your coworkers too friendly? Not friendly enough?
Today’s Q&A shares a few ideas on socializing at work. Tell us what you think in the comments: how much socializing is too much, and how do you draw boundaries?
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| | CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS FOR MASTERING DIALOGUE | |
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| | PERSONAL OR PROFESSIONAL? THOUGHTS ON WORKPLACE RELATIONSHIPS
| | by Joseph Grenny |
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| | I’m trying to establish a strictly professional working relationship with my supervisor. I like to have boundaries to limit my personal involvement, but my supervisor wants to have conversations about weekend plans, vacation updates, and so on. They also continually talk with me and my coworkers about their health challenges and medical details. This makes me uncomfortable. I’ve shared my feelings about their behavior, but things have not changed. How do I respectfully share my communication preferences?
Signed,
TMI
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| | | | The first thing you need to do is a gut check. Be sure you are fully aware of what you are asking for and the consequences of choosing it. The preferences you describe are reasonable. They just aren’t typical. It’s somewhat akin to asking your favorite fast-food place to not put mayonnaise on your sandwich and then asking them to remember you dislike mayonnaise for every future visit.
Most people use workplaces as a hunting ground for closer friendship. The norm, therefore, is progressive disclosure as a way of deepening relationships. People at most workplaces like mayonnaise. They’re used to making the workplace sandwich a certain way. And if someone comes along that wants it made differently from how most everyone else wants it, that person will need to understand that the burden is on them to help others navigate their unique preferences.
So, if you choose to try to create the social reality you prefer, you will be signing up for the following: | | |
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| | | | | | | | BEING POLITE WHEN SOMEONE TELLS YOU A STORY... AGAIN | | You’ve heard the story before, and you really don’t have the time or interest to hear it again. What should you say? | | | |
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| | | | Oct 17–21 | | Crucial Conversations® for Mastering Dialogue—Certification | | Get certified in Crucial Conversations and teach people in your organization how to: Resolve conflict. Speak up truthfully and tactfully. Reach alignment when stakes are high and opinions vary. Navigate the most important interactions at home and work. | | |
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| | | | | | Somehow in looking back, almost any situation seems to have been ok. The challenge is to live that acceptance in the present, not just in memory. | | | | | |
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