Absolutely Hilaria-ous

Como se dice "fraudster" en español? "Hilaria Baldwin."

That's because Alec Baldwin's 36-year-old, yoga-loving wife has been faking her entire identity. While she's been busy masquerading as Hilaria from Mallorca, Spain, it turns out she's actually Hillary Hayward-Thomas from Massachusetts.

After being called out for being una mentirosa (that's Spanish for "liar"), she was forced to publicly admit that despite portraying herself as an immigrant who sometimes forgets the English word for "cucumber," she has no Spanish ancestry. ¡Ninguna! (That means "None!")

The daughter of Dr. Kathryn Hayward and David Thomas (whose American roots predate the American Revolution), Hillary grew up "entitled" in a home now valued at $4 million in a ritzy Boston neighborhood.

Hayward and Thomas retired to Mallorca in 2011 when the sham artist was 27 years old, making her claim about coming to los Estados Unidos to attend college at NYU in 2003 even more bizarre.

But stranger than that? Hillary's defense for this whole mess — she's blaming everyone else for assuming she was Spanish.

In an interview with the New York Times, Hillary tried to set the record straight, but only made things more confusing.

“I was born in Boston. I spent time in Boston and in Spain. My family now lives in Spain. I moved to New York when I was 19 years old and I have lived here ever since,” she told the Times. “For me, I feel like I have spent 10 years sharing that story over and over again. And now it seems like it’s not enough.”

Ay, Dios mio. It'll never be enough!

Meanwhile, the artist formerly known as Hilaria isn't the only one who took creative liberties with her name. Her husband, Alec, was born Alexander Rae Baldwin III and went by "Alex" and "Xandy" before he transferred to NYU in the late ’70s and adopted the tony moniker “Alec.”

These two were truly made for each other.

Drinking of you fondly,

Margarita (er, Maggie)