1.  Fauci: Bars, Restaurants Should Remain Closed Amid COVID-19

 ‘CRYSTAL CLEAR’ 

“Bars are a really important place of spreading of infection. There’s no doubt about that,” Fauci said.

2.  TikTok Will Be Banned From U.S. App Stores This Sunday

  TIME TICKING AWAY 

The U.S. Commerce Department issued an order that will stop people in the U.S. from downloading the video-sharing app.

3.  Stay Warm With the New (and Affordable!) UNIQLO U 2020 Line

 AD BY UNIQLO 

The New UNIQLO U Fall/Winter 2020 Collection seeks to provide a simplified, modern wardrobe.

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4.  More Women Emerge With Claims of Nonconsensual ICE Surgeries

 NEW ACCOUNTS 

Detainees claim Amin removed one woman’s fallopian tube without her consent, and coerced another into a hysterectomy instead of less drastic procedures

5.  Joe Rogan Sorry for Blaming Wildfires on Left-Wing Activists

 ‘F*CKED UP’ 

“I was very irresponsible not looking into it before I repeated it.”

6.  This Lightweight Cast Iron Pan Changed How I Cook

 A STEP UP 

It’s lightweight, which is no easy feat when making a pan completely out of iron.

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7.  Firefighter Dies in Blaze Sparked by Botched Gender Reveal

 ‘DEEPEST SYMPATHIES’ 

A “smoke-generating pyrotechnic device” started the El Dorado Fire, which has already torched over 21,000 acres.

8.  Oregon Counties Ravaged by Fires Told to Prepare for Floods

 JUST CRUEL 

The floods could carry dangerous debris left behind by the wildfires over the past few weeks.

9.  Kushner on NYC Pleas for COVID Help: ‘That’s Their Problem’

 NOT MY JOB 

On hearing Gov. Cuomo’s pleas for help with PPE supplies, Kushner reportedly said New Yorkers “are going to suffer and that’s their problem.”

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10.  Amal Clooney Quits as U.K. Special Envoy Over Brexit Debacle

 ‘DISMAYED’ 

Says she can no longer “urge other states to respect and enforce international obligations while the U.K. declares that it does not intend to do so itself.”

11.  Uni Instructor Probed for Calling COVID ‘the Chinese Virus’

  ‘XENOPHOBIC COMMENTS’ 

The xenophobic remark was made in an email to a student who had to skip a lab session after his girlfriend tested positive for the virus.

12.  Queen Elizabeth Strips Harvey Weinstein of Prestigious Honor

 GO OFF, QUEEN 

In a clinical notice issued Friday morning, it was confirmed that the Queen had ordered that Weinstein’s title “shall be canceled and annulled.”

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13.  Joe Rogan Sorry for Blaming Wildfires on Left-Wing Activists

 ‘F*CKED UP’ 

“I was very irresponsible not looking into it before I repeated it.”

14.  Trump Mocks Biden Teleprompter Use While Using Teleprompter

 STOP HITTING YOURSELF 

Trump imitated Biden at his Thursday night campaign rally in Wisconsin, saying: “Move it up, move it up, I can’t see.”

15.  Winston Groom, ‘Forrest Gump’ Author, Dies at 77

 ALABAMA’S FINEST 

Groom’s alma mater, the University of Alabama, called him “one of our legends.”

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