After Galatasaray fans celebrated wildly all over Old Trafford on Tuesday night as Manchester United entered their biennial terminal velocity mode, even better Turkey-based news followed for Manchester City suits this morning. The Turkish government’s decision to plump for a joint bid with Italy for the 2032 Euros rather than 2028 means England, Wales, Scotland, Norn Iron and the Republic O’Ireland will jointly host the soccer jamboree in five years’ time! Old Trafford, best soundtracked by Top Red Phil Collins’ “The Roof Is Leaking”, was not considered for inclusion. An expanded Etihad Stadium’s laser blue concourse will be Mancunia’s enormodome of choice, though renamed the City of Manchester Stadium for non-sponsorship purposes – unless Abu Dhabi sponsor the whole caboodle, which cannot be ruled out.
Perhaps those at United might not be too miffed at such a snub. Anfield, the Emirates and Stamford Bridge are also not involved, either. Everton’s dockside stadium is included, optimistic considering (1) the club is in danger of being among League One’s playoff hopefuls by 2028 and 2) the ground isn’t finished yet. It’s a good job we build things properly in this country. Elsewhere, Hampden Park and the Principality Stadium will be used, though Norn Iron’s part will be played by Casement Park, a former GAA ground in Belfast yet to be redeveloped. The Republic’s part will be fulfilled by what used to be called Lansdowne Road, with a sweeping roof that descends to a small stand to make it resemble more a potty than a bowl.We’ll let the coefficient crew explain how all five host teams can play in a 24-team tournament, in what might be a very different football landscape.
How might the Nations League repechage back door aid Ireland, captained by Newcastle No 9 Evan Ferguson? Can Will Grigg’s fire be relit for the North, despite him being 37 and not having played for them since 2018? Will Steve Clarke, Scotland’s best manager since dear Craig Brown, still be in charge, and will Del Amitri be cued in again? Will Wales feel the benefit of Wrexham’s presence in Big Cup? Will Bukayo Saka, having played the entire previous nine Arsenal seasons in succession, be fit to play? How many caps will Harry Maguire and Jordan Henderson have if Gareth Southgate is still around? Or will Eddie Howe be holding the hopes of perfidious Albion within his gift – just don’t mention Sycamore trees? Finally, just how much jazz salt and rear-end fireworks will England’s brave banter boys get through? Altogether now … freed from desire …
Na-na-na-na-na, na-na, na-na-na, na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na, na-na, na-na-na, na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na, na-na, na-na-na, na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na, na-na, na-na-na, na-na-na
So much to look forward to, and a spanking new network of high-speed railways to speed our continental cousins around the place, too … hurrah for Britain and Ireland!