While it was no great surprise that Regionalliga Nord outfit FC Teutonia 05 Ottensen shipped eight goals without reply in getting knocked out in the first round of the German equivalent of the FA Cup by Bayer Leverkusen last August, nobody who was involved in the match had any idea of the significance of the hammering they had just watched unfold. Ostensibly a fourth-tier side who had only earned the right to play in the DFB-Pokal once before, Teutonia were almost certainly happy to take their licks in return for a big payday but could yet go down in football history as the extremely difficult answer to the pub quiz question: “Who was the first team Bayer Leverkusen played when they went an entire season unbeaten in all competitions at home and abroad in 2023-24?”

A whopping 48 games later, each of them against far more testing opposition than the comparative cannon fodder of Teutonia, Leverkusen have not suffered a single defeat in the Cup, Bundesliga or Big Vase. Now, having already wrapped up the league for the first time in their history, they now find themselves in a position where they could go an entire 53-game season without losing once – to anybody in any competition. With all due respect to the famous Arsenal title-winning squad of 2003-04, this is the kind of streak that makes Martin Keown, Lauren and chums resemble comparatively ham-fisted “Vincibles”.

With just four matches to play and almost everyone on the planet with a passing interest in football and anything resembling a soul willing them on, Leverkusen’s remaining games in a Bundesliga they won last month have now attained the status of metaphorical cup finals. Beyond those, the two games Xabi Alonso’s side have to play are actual cup finals. Specifically, a Big Vase final against Atalanta followed by a domestic cup final against Kaiserslautern. Having just broken the European record for the longest unbeaten run across all competitions since Uefa competitions began, four more games without defeat will ensure immortality for being unbeaten across the entire season.

Their effort could have been derailed as early as September, when it took an Exequiel Palacios spot-kick in the fourth minute of added time to avoid defeat at the hands of Bayern Munich. All in all, the German champions-elect have scored 17 goals this season in the 90th minute or beyond and, in the past 18 days alone, Leverkusen have relied on goals scored in minutes 89, 90+7, 90+6 and 90+7 to keep their dreams of going undefeated alive. “The team bond we have,” replied Jeremie Frimpong, upon being asked how they keep doing it. “No one gives up. Everyone knows that if we go down, we will get a goal. OK we scored to make it 2-1 [against Roma] and we were going through, but we still wanted more.” As does Football Daily, which has a question: if Leverkusen win their remaining Bundesliga games against Bochum and Augsburg but go on to lose one or both the cup finals they are in on penalties, will their season still go down as one of invincibility? Far be it from us to be pedantic, but the result of any final that ends up being settled by spot-kicks is still technically a draw.

“I will try absolutely everything not to get involved in any kind of discussions” – Liverpool boss Jürgen Klopp insists he’ll be on his best behaviour at Villa on Monday night, what with the threat of a touchline ban looming that would leave him in the stands for his Anfield farewell next Sunday.

Can I be the first of 1,057 people to read Darren Ferguson’s comments about the refereeing in Peterborough’s playoff semi-final defeat (yesterday’s Quote of the Day) and express their shock that this particular apple hasn’t fallen far from the tree?” – Ed Taylor (and no others).

Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Ed Taylor.

Now then, Manchester United, can we get rid of the FA Cup misery? Last year both the men’s and women’s sides succumbed at the final hurdle: the former undone by Ilkay Gündogan’s wünderstrikes for Manchester City, the latter by Sam Kerr’s goal for Chelsea. Revenge, however, was delivered by Marc Skinner’s side in their semi-final contest last month, Lucía García’s goal in the first minute setting up a 2-1 win. Before that they struck five past Newcastle, four against Brighton, and hit Southampton for three. They’ll take just the one goal in Sunday’s final if it does the job. Tottenham await, having opted for drama over demolition on their path to Wembley. Their quarter-final shootout win over Manchester City saw Beth England deliver a very, very late equaliser in normal time before Becky Spencer made two saves in the final duel. A 2-1 semi-final victory over Leicester was sealed by Martha Thomas’s header in extra time. Here’s the good news for you neutrals out there: neither has won this competition before. Pick a side and enjoy the piece of history set to unfold.

Vitesse’s owner has funded the club with loans from Roman Abramovich, leaked documents suggest, fuelling questions about the continued influence the oligarch – under sanctions from the EU and UK – still has on football.

Fifa has issued a sniffy defence of its Club World Cup scheduling amid the threat of legal action from leagues and unions. “We are also well aware there are other competition organisers, including those represented by the [World Leagues Association], who are similarly entitled to exercise their rights in the same manner, including the ability to introduce, abolish or replace competitions, and to review their formats in a reasonable way,” tooted suit Mattias Grafström. “This ability has been demonstrated by the introduction of international tours by members of the WLA in recent years, by way of example.”

Aston Villa’s Tin Pot run is over after a 2-0 second-leg defeat at Olympiakos confirmed a 6-2 semi-final reverse. “We lost to the better team and I think the scoreline proves that,” sighed captain John McGinn.

Everton, now with their Premier League status secure, have taken one look at the reasons for Nottingham Forest failing to overturn a points deduction and decided to drop their own PSR-breach appeal.

Premier League top scorer Erling Haaland says he’s a bit miffed about people wanging on about his touch-count for Manchester City. “When I score nobody talks about this but when I don’t people start to mention my touches,” he sniffed. “This is a part of my life.”

And it transpires that Leverkusen are now offering fans free tattoos to commemorate their historic season. “Book your appointment now to eternalise this unique season on your skin,” whooped the club.

Football Daily can just about remember what it was doing as a 14-year-old, and it may well have involved watching copious amounts of Grandstand, playing F-Zero on the Snes and drinking [redacted] in a field. None of that for teenage tyro Cavan Sullivan, who has signed a record deal with the Philadelphia Union that will also eventually land him with Manchester City. “I’m a pretty boring kid, to be honest,” he honked. “I guess my goal is just to become a regular player [for Philadelphia] within the next two years. Then after that I would hope to be a starter. I guess that’s from the 16 to 18 age window. And then right when I’m 18 I hope to be at the level of the City first team.”

Geopolitics comes to Vitesse: how ‘Chelsea B’ were swallowed by Abramovich associates.

Premier League … 10 things to look out for … you know the drill.

Everton are staring down the barrel at administration with 777’s planned takeover increasingly unlikely, writes Simon Goodley.

Has Arsène Wenger finally won the culture war over big money in football? Aaron Timms has a ponder.

“The key memory from that education was her telling me I could never settle for what I had.” Karen Carney explains just how important playing for Emma Hayes at Chelsea has been for her.

With Gateshead bound for Wembley and the FA Trophy final, Louise Taylor hears from the club after their controversial National League promotion ban.

And Graham Ruthven looks at Birmingham City and how a shimmer of celebrity from the USA USA USA cannot overcome ineffective ownership.

Back in April 2002, Klaus Toppmöller – you remember him – carries Ze Roberto in celebration after Leverkusen dumped out Manchester United on away goals to book their place in Big Cup final. Alas, it didn’t end well.