| Set to the theme of “A New Era Begins”, the opening ceremony of the Club World Cup featured performances by assorted Fifa-approved rappers and crossover artists we’d never heard of before. As a daily email of a certain age our knowledge of the Miami music scene begins and ends with the 80s legend that is Gloria “Paging Dr Beat!” Estefan, whose husband produced this spectacular track but apparently couldn’t find a place for her in it. Boo! Billed as “a vibrant prelude to a competition where one champion will rise to claim one goal, one dream and eternal glory”, Gianni Infantino had probably hoped the match that followed wouldn’t end without any goals but as stalemates go the opener between Al Ahly and Inter Miami could have been worse. What’s more, any fears the Fifa chief suit had about it being played in front of tens of thousands of unoccupied plastic seats were miraculously allayed by a near-capacity crowd of almost 61,000, many of them local students who are reported to have been sold tickets originally priced at $200 for just a few bucks. While they didn’t get to see Leo Messi score a goal, they were at least treated to the sight of Miami’s star turn firing a couple of speculative shots from distance against the woodwork, a feat that had proved beyond all of the special celebrity guests and former pros who participated in the half-time crossbar challenge except Alessandro Del Piero. While Palmeiras and Porto served up another goalless damp squib in Group A’s other match, Bayern Munich were merciless in their demolition of Auckland City, the New Zealand side whose players are without exception amateurs, many of whom have taken unpaid leave from their day jobs to enjoy the experience of a lifetime that is getting slaughtered by the German champions. Already encumbered with the reputation of being a big-game bottler, Harry Kane proved that he cannot be relied upon to deliver in the small games either, the England striker somehow managing to avoid getting his name on the Copa Gianni scoresheet in a match his team won 10-0. Auckland City’s almost heroic determination to play the ball out from the back despite all available evidence that it was a truly foolhardy idea called to mind Russell Martin-era Southampton. Asked after the game if he had felt a little bit sorry for the part-timers, Bayern Munich winger Michael Olise said: “Nope” and “no”. Bigger Cup champions Paris Saint-Germain laid down a marker with their emphatic opening win against Atlético Madrid in the California furnace of Pasadena. In shimmering early afternoon heat, PSG spanked four past Jan Oblak without reply in a match paused for two “cooling breaks”, which several players used to completely cover their heads in wet towels. The world players’ union Fifpro has already voiced its disquiet at the inadequacy of these measures, saying they “do not do enough to protect the health and performance of players”. Noon kick-offs in searing heat do, however, protect the health and performance of TV viewing figures in Europe and, for Fifa’s chief suit, that’s really all that counts. | 