Lionel Messi, harder men and an historic night of woe for Brazil

So, Manchester United players think their utter shambles this season is due to anything and anyone apart from themselves overworking in pre-season. It strikes me that an interesting thought experiment in the style of Schrödinger’s cat would be if you put a finite number of Manchester United players in a locked dressing room, how long it would take before just one of them achieved some degree of self-awareness and suggest that perhaps they are the problem? But then self-awareness isn’t their thing, although irony clearly is” – Noble Francis.

Re: running up the score (Football Daily letters passim). Youth soccer here in the USA USA USA can be extremely one-sided. A common tactic I’ve observed coaches employing when they begin to run away with the result is to implement a pass restriction before shooting. I will hear the coach shouting something like ‘three passes before you can shoot’ or ‘we must have five passes before scoring’. As a parent on the sidelines, I wonder what is more insulting to the other team: running the score up or hearing the other coach shout those instructions? Losing heavily is one thing, but knowing that you are part of a game turned training session is another level of humiliation” – Stephen Jackson.

I used to referee in the Catholic Youth League in Maryland, where the Mercy Rule applied. If a team took a seven-goal lead, they had to withdraw one player from the field. If their opponents reduced the lead, that player could come back on. I (and I alone) referred to it as the Sisters of Mercy Rule. Or, Law 18 – decreed by Mother Mary. Clear evidence the Football Gods exist” – Ian Plenderleith.

In the cubs’ league as a boy, we played a team which included Murdo MacLeod (future Scotland, Celtic and Dortmund star), plus two other future professionals (one being his brother). I was our keeper and, after being 21-0 down at half-time, managed to keep the full-time score to a mere 28-0. Not due to any sporting let-up from them. The trick? In the first half there was a fence two yards behind the goal. In the second there was 50 yards of red blaes (no nets of course). My slow walk to retrieve the ball was a masterclass in game management. Oh, and did I mention the match was only 30 minutes each half?” – Gavin Stewart.

Send any letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s letter o’ the day winner is … Gavin Stewart, who lands a copy of Arsène Who? by Ryan Baldi. We’ve more to give away all week, so get typing.

Big Website’s peerless photographer, Tom Jenkins, has made some of his best images available to buy as limited-edition prints. Football highlights include Lionel Messi’s Human Rights World Cup triumph, the Lionesses celebrating at Wembley and Rodri hitting the back of the net in Big Cup final. Perfect for an early Christmas present. Take a look at the gallery and order your prints here.

Just when Horsham thought they were out, the FA Cup pulls them back in! Yes, the Isthmian League Premier outfit have been reinstated and will now travel to Sutton in round two, after Barnsley were unceremoniously booted out for fielding an ineligible player in their replay win. “We would like to apologise to our fans, players and staff for this regrettable error,” sighed a statement from the Tykes. “This mistake – although unintentional – falls way below the high standards we set at this club and is simply not what you deserve.”

The FA has revealed that clubs who pledged to improve their ethnic and gender diversity have collectively failed to hit any of their annual targets.

Celtic have been fined £15,200 after their fans waved Palestinian flags during their home match against Atlético Madrid last month in Glasgow.

The Euro 2024 playoffs await Wales after Croatia’s win over Armenia ensured a 1-1 draw with Turkey didn’t ultimately matter too much. Finland, Iceland or Ukraine will head to Cardiff on 21 March, with the winners playing Poland or Estonia five days later for a place at the tournament. “I don’t care, we’ll beat them all,” whooped Jordan James.

England boss Gareth Southgate is determined that there won’t be another Baden-Baden circus – you remember it – when England head to Germany next summer. “There is basically a [Uefa] catalogue and you’ve got to get in early on certain venues or you can try and go off the catalogue and do something different,” he cooed.

Fresh off his vindication in Ghana, Harry Maguire has expressed despair at the number of “soft” and “ridiculous” penalties being awarded. “They are given for anything,” he fumed. “They are making life so hard for defenders to defend the way it should be.”

Splits among the Premier League 20 have been laid bare after a proposed ban on loans between associated clubs was defeated. Sigh.

And things aren’t getting any better for Germany after a 2-0 friendly defeat to Austria in which Leroy Sané was sent off. “The players are maybe playing not as freely as they could,” sniffed new coach Julian Nagelsmann. “We are not that unit that we are off the pitch. It is just missing on the pitch.”

“Hope Sogni” is an AI-created hypothetical female Fifa presidential candidate. Confused? Let Suzanne Wrack explain.

Jess King can play football, write music and perform spoken word pieces. She’s had a natter with Júlia Belas Trindade for Moving the Goalposts.

Symmetrical scores, European Cup clubs relegated and more. The Knowledge has the answer.

Belenenses are back, baby! Morgan Ofori on how they returned from oblivion.

Emma Hayes is a really exciting appointment for USA USA USA, so why is Gregg Berhalter still managing the men’s team? Graham Ruthven takes a look.

A freezing January in south London forces Nottingham Forest’s Johnny Metgod to load up on the tights and gloves for their FA Cup tie with Crystal Palace at Selhurst Park. Not that they did him much good in a 1-0 defeat. How about that orange ball, though?