| Short of Everton being docked 20 points and their new Bramley Moore Dock sinking to the bottom of the Mersey without trace overnight, it’s difficult to imagine any news putting more of a spring in the step of Liverpool fans than the announcement that Mohamed Salah’s new contract until 2027. The Egyptian is one of three Liverpool stalwarts who were due to become free agents at the end of this season but is almost certainly the one whose replica shirt fans were least likely to set fire to in performative Instachat videos. While the nitty-gritty of the 32-year-old’s new deal have not been disclosed, he has not taken a pay cut from his basic £350,000 weekly stipend, although it is believed he earns nearer £1m per week when various side-projects such as image rights, sponsorship deals and a window-cleaning round are taken into account. “So I’m happy to sign a new contract,” declared Liverpool’s Egyptian king, as photos of him beaming on a baroque throne placed on the pitch at Anfield were released to coincide with Friday morning’s announcement. “We have a great team now. Before also we had a great team. But I signed because I think we have a chance to win other trophies and enjoy my football. I had my best years here. I played eight years, hopefully it’s going to be 10. Enjoying my life here, enjoying my football. I had the best years in my career.” Having scored 243 goals and provided 111 assists from 394 games for Liverpool since joining in 2017, Salah’s importance cannot be overstated, although given his age, it should be noted that Liverpool are taking something of a gamble on the player’s projected future glories rather than further remunerating him for any achieved in the past. “I’m part of the process but I don’t deserve the compliments,” said Liverpool manager Arne Slot, before going on to thank more people than an Oscar-winning actor for their effort in getting the deal over the line. “Effort mostly means money but not only money,” he added, saying the quiet part out loud. With Salah’s services secured for another two seasons and Trent Alexander-Arnold looking almost certain to, erm, “betray” fans by honouring his contract before taking a better paid job at a more prestigious firm, the focus is now on club captain Virgil van Dijk. Another thirtysomething whose recent uncharacteristic blunders have not been doing his Mr 15% any favours when it comes to talking turkey around the negotiating table, the Dutchman has made it clear he wants to stay at Anfield, but only if certain conditions are met by the club – and its props department. To paraphrase that famous quote from Jaws: “We’re going to need a bigger baroque throne.” | 