The England v Australia rivalry rears its head in a World Cup semi-final

When various media outlets started giving more than a cursory token nod to women’s football a few years ago, quite a few men seemed to presume it had become compulsory to watch the game and made it clear they were unhappy with having this sporting aberration “rammed down our throats”. A woman’s place was elsewhere, they crudely insisted, not contesting World Cup quarter-finals in packed stadiums in front of 75,784 fans who had presumably wandered in by mistake. That was the official attendance at England’s match against Colombia on Saturday in Sydney, a city that has long been synonymous with its Opera House, Bondi Beach and bizarrely strict pub door policies, but until this tournament had kept its huge population of football-mad, hostile Colombian diaspora largely under wraps.

The Lionesses could have been forgiven for thinking they were playing in downtown Bogotá, such was the hostility that rained down at Stadium Australia as they overcame a one-goal deficit to see off the tournament’s surprise package and qualify for their third consecutive World Cup semi-final. They did so on the back of another performance that was worryingly “meh”, but for all their laboured huffing and puffing in this tournament, the only thing that matters is that they are still in it. Now they have the small matter of a semi against the flamin’ co-hosts to get through if they are to make it to their first World Cup final. In doing so they would also go some way towards avenging the Ashes draws, that recent netball World Cup final, no end of other unrelated sporting humiliations, the importation of Foster’s Lager and almost 250 years’ worth of disparaging comments about Poms. No pressure.

The Matildas made it through a thrilling white-knuckle ride of a penalty shoot-out against France that could only have been more tense if it was a Neighbours storyline in which Bouncer the dog was given a last-minute reprieve after being framed by Paul Robinson for committing an unspeakable act of defilement on Harold Bishop’s tuba in the foyer of Lassiters Hotel. They have been trying to downplay the significance of any rivalry they might have with their opponents; unsurprisingly, the local press has been less coy in flagging up historical mutual contempt in the international sports arena that has often resulted in serious acts of unfair dinkum being perpetrated by both sides.

“I think for us Australians, I don’t want to say ‘unbothered’, but we want to go out there and do the job, and that’s to play,” declared back-up keeper Lydia Williams. “All the extra stuff, rivalries and stuff, it doesn’t really come about. If anything it’s to prove a point, that we can make the final and represent Australia that way. I think we’re so proud of our country that we really don’t bother about the other team in that kind of sense.” Yeah, but it’s England. An England who have also done their bit in trying to pretend that a World Cup semi-final against the only team to have beaten them during Sarina Wiegman’s 37-match tenure is just another game. “There is a rivalry with any team,” roared Keira Walsh. “So, for me, it doesn’t make much of a difference if the media is trying to talk about beating England.” Yeah, but it’s Australia and England’s star midfielder could be in for something of a shock on Wednesday, when a crowd of almost 80,000 baying fans join the media-led chorus of anti-Pom sentiment.

Join Rob Smyth from 8pm BST for hot Premier League MBM coverage of Manchester United 3-0 Wolves.

12 August: “In every country pub, city club, suburban home, they are doing this tonight. Watching the Matildas” – former Australian deputy prime minister Barnaby Joyce attempts to clamber aboard the World Cup bandwagon, performatively posting a video from the Commercial Hotel in Walcha, New South Wales, of him watching France go down to Australia.

14 August: “I think we were watching the wrong game” – Joyce clarifies that the drinker had, in actual fact, been broadcasting Australia’s flamin’ pre-tournament warm-up against Les Bleues, rather than their famous World Cup penalty shootout triumph. An, er, easy mistake to make?

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Regarding reflex reactions to players’ names when mentioned in commentary (Football Daily letters passim), I find it impossible to hear ‘André Onana’ without replying ‘What’s my name?’ in the style of Rihanna, and then repeating it three times – much to the discomfort of my fiancee. I support Wolves, but sadly I’m not expecting to hear his name very often when we play Manchester United on Monday, unless the commentator is pointing out how little he has had to do in the match” – Joe Stafford.

Surely it’s not just me who cannot hear the name ‘McManaman’ without adding ‘doo doo doodoo’?” – Tony Porter (and no others).

I can never hear ‘Mahmoud Dahoud’ without hearing the Brighton midfielder’s name sung to the tune of Slam Dunk Da Funk by turn-of-the-millennium boyband Five” – Mike Martin.

Nicolas Jackson, ooh, I am for reeeeeeeal …” – Antony Train.

I am pleased to report that mascot Boomer (Thursday’s Memory Lane, full email edition) continues to strut his stuff at the Vale (to the tune of ‘who let the dog(s) out?’). No on-field botherings to report, although he regularly ‘cocks his leg’ on the away team goal during the warm-up” – Rob Ford.

Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Mike Martin.

And just like that, Harry Kane was a Bayern Munich player and by Saturday night was wearing the doleful expression familiar from so many Spurs near-misses as Leipzig won the German Super Cup from FC Hollywood. “Daniel Levy is nice, but he also knows what he wants,” parped Bayern suit Jan-Christian Dreesen as the new prize asset was shown off further on Sunday. “In the end, both parties had a good feeling.” Kane chose to use social media disgraces rather than leaving drinks to wish farewell to his former teammates. Without him, Spurs achieved the same 2-2 scoreline at Brentford as last season when Kane was still in the ranks. New Spurs boss Ange Postecoglou chose two players to replace Kane in playmaker and No 10 James Maddison and main striker Richarlison, with mixed success. “Yeah, look I was pleased with the effort the lads put in,” roared Ange. “ I haven’t needed to give them a warm fuzzy cuddle just to see how they are.” Over in Deutschland, the German press has already begun the backlash. “Why have we not managed for years to develop our own talented centre-forwards, of which we used to have a constant supply?” wailed those tabloid thunderers at Bild.

Jorge Vilda is taking praise away from his players, you’ll be shocked to learn, claiming Spain are only in the World Cup semis because their FA backed him during last year’s squad revolt. “We have a president who reacted with courage and put his trust in me and my technical team, and we are very happy about the whole process,” he cheered.

Sweden’s Fridolina Rolfö has been cheering on her Barcelona teammates, but not any more. “We have been sending each other messages throughout the tournament,” she tooted on the eve of their date with Spain. “I want them to go far in this tournament. Or I did. I think they’ve now gone far enough.”

Transfer tug-of-war latest: having lost out to Chelsea for Moisés Caicedo’s services, Liverpool are laying out £60m for Southampton’s Roméo Lavia … but Todd Boehly is circling again. The Blues also want Crystal Palace’s Michael Olise, as well as every other promising youngster ever.

Neymar has retired from football/is set to join Al-Hilal for a fee worth £86m, bringing to an end the PSG galáctico project. Total Big Cup titles won after billions of euros lashed out: nil.

There’s a knee injury outbreak at Aston Villa, with Tyrone Mings likely to miss the entire season after getting hurt at Newcastle. He’ll be joined on the sidelines by Emiliano Buendía, who pulled up in training with similar ACL woe last week.

Everton have followed the ever-failsafe recruitment strategy of signing a knacked player: Jack Harrison has been loaned in despite hip-argh. Leeds, yet to win in the league this season, don’t intend for want-away Wilfried Gnonto to get away in similar fashion.

James Ward-Prowse will continue his chase of David Beckham’s Premier League free-kick record after completing a £30m move to West Ham from Southampton. JWP, pronouncing himself “buzzin’”, needs just one dipper n’ swerver to equal Becks’ 18.

Ref rage corner: Xavi and Raphinha face bans for being sent off as Barcelona began their league title defence with a 0-0 draw at Getafe. The match featured the second Barça debut of Oriol Romeu (yes, that one); his previous debut and sole previous appearance came way back in August 2010.

And Birmingham fans are getting used to Jasper Carrot and Tom Brady sharing the same stadium, after the new minority owner pitched up at a local boozer and then gave a pep talk to players before their Championship win over Leeds. “That is great, to have one of the most famous sporting people in the world come down and chat to the group,” whooped manager John Eustace. “They were all very excited to listen to him and he gave us some real good words of advice.”

When you really have to watch The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King.

Before the semis, Sweden lead our World Cup power rankings but where are the others? Meanwhile, Jonas Eidevall sets the scene for their date with Spain.

Our Brave Lionesses have found a different way to win but cannot be sloppy against the Matildas, warns Karen Carney.

This semi-final goes beyond mere football, writes Jonathan Liew.

The Premier League is back, baby, and that means there are 10 talking points from the weekend. Angeball, Toon-ali, and KDB knack: you know the drill.

What were Chelsea and Liverpool both lacking at Stamford Bridge? Oddly enough, a midfielder like Moisés Caicedo, explains Jonathan Wilson.

The truth behind Saudi Arabia’s dizzying investment in sport. A special report by Paul MacInnes.

And John O’Brien talks to Adam Elder about going from USA USA USA World Cup hero to a doctor of clinical psychology.

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Bobby Moore makes his final appearance for West Ham at Upton Park, in action for the Hammers’ reserves against Plymouth Argyle in March 1974. It was his last match at the ground before a move across town to Fulham.