Ghost Mail Weekender

Happy Sunday Voornaam,

If you spent time on social media in South Africa this week, it was... a lot. It's hard to believe that this is the same country that can be united so magnificently by sport. Rugby World Cups only happen every four years unfortunately, so we clearly need to put in a lot more effort the rest of the time.
Thanks for choosing Ghost Mail Weekender as a place of refuge and entertaining insights, far away from the messy world of politics on social media.
In that spirit, we begin with a story of hope and efforts to take people forwards rather than backwards. If you're looking for a lunch spot that’s truly out of the ordinary, then you could add Idlanathi - meaning “eat with us” - to your list.
Yes, this is the restaurant inside Pollsmoor Maximum Security Prison.
Also known as “the mess”, this unlikely eatery sits behind the same walls that house some of the country’s most dangerous criminals. But don’t let that put you off - from everything we’ve read online, the food is surprisingly good, well-presented and very affordable (think R8.50 for a cheese and tomato toastie with chips).
All meals at Idlanathi are cooked and served by low-security prisoners, under the watchful eyes of prison guards. Beyond offering an unusual dining experience, this restaurant forms part of a rehabilitation programme aimed at giving inmates real-world skills they can use after their release.
The waiters, dressed in their unmistakable orange prison uniforms, are more than happy to serve up your meal, along with a few stories about how they ended up behind bars.
As for the menu, it’s both budget-friendly and packed with classics like fish and chips, chicken curry, burgers, steaks, farm-style breakfasts, sandwiches, stews and lasagna. The most expensive item on the menu - a T-bone steak - will set you back R150. They even offer catering for functions, so if you’re looking for a really unorthodox venue for your next birthday party (or an innovative way to terrify your teenagers into better behaviour), this might just be it!
Of course, criminals come in all shapes and sizes and are found everywhere in the world. Protection money is a well-known concept in Cape Town in particular, yet the practice originated in Italy. With mafia tactics firmly on the brain, Dominique Olivier was reminded of her Spotify premium conversion experience and how it felt like paying protection money just to get the right user experience. With the best conversion rate of any major freemium business model, there's clearly something to learn from Spotify's approach. Enjoy this entertaining and insightful Spotify-mafia mashup here>>>
Read on for a fun story of how the descendants of military legends like Napoleon and the Duke of Wellington now do battle with spreadsheets rather than rifles, as well as the Fast Facts themed around unusual dinner reservations. Eating at Pollsmoor is tame compared to some of these!
Have a lovely day!

The Finance Ghost (follow on X) | Dominique Olivier (connect on LinkedIn)

Spotify: mafia tactics that work

Dry powder of a different kind

TL;DR: Two centuries after their ancestors faced off on the battlefield, the descendants of Napoleon and Wellington are once again in a head-to-head contest - only this time, the battleground is the City of London, and the weapons of choice are spreadsheets and investment portfolios.
Finance professionals use various terms to make themselves sound more hardcore. "Dry powder" is one of them, referring to capital that hasn't been deployed yet. As in: "I'm sitting on dry powder and ready to pull the trigger on this opportunity."
Perhaps such military references carry more weight when one of the surnames in the deal negotiation team is Bonaparte. But first, a little history lesson.
The Battle of Waterloo was one of the most significant military showdowns of the 19th century. With at least four armies and 200,000 soldiers in the mix, the battlefield in what is now Belgium became the stage for Napoleon’s last stand. Facing off against him was a coalition of forces led by the Duke of Wellington, who was determined to put an end to Napoleon’s ambitions once and for all.
By the time the dust settled on Sunday, 18 June 1815, the result was clear: Napoleon was defeated, with his dreams of European dominance crushed under the weight of relentless Allied firepower.
Fast forward about 200 years, and Jean-Christophe Napoleon Bonaparte and Arthur Mornington, who are direct descendants of the legendary military leaders, have found themselves on opposite sides once more - this time as investment managers at competing private equity firms in London’s financial district. Instead of commanding armies, they now oversee billions in assets, navigating the high-stakes world of finance with the same strategic precision that made their namesakes famous.
Despite the historical baggage, various interviews have revealed that neither party appears eager to rekindle old rivalries. “It is quite amusing to see that we both work in the same industry, but that we don’t replicate the rivalry of our ancestors,” said Bonaparte, 28, who is presumably grateful that his modern-day battles don’t require a cavalry charge. Mornington, 37, (who is also the Marquess of Douro and, for good measure, a descendant of Queen Victoria), was equally diplomatic. “Jean-Christophe and I are friends, he’s a great guy.”
Both men represented their families at commemorations marking the 200th anniversary of the Battle of Waterloo. But rather than trading artillery fire, they swapped firm handshakes and polite conversation at black-tie events, while almost certainly using terrible finance industry puns along the way.

Dominique's fast facts:
Unusual dinner reservations

An assortment of facts that will only take you five minutes to read.

El Diablo in Las Palmas, Spain: watch as your meal is cooked over an active volcano vent in the ground.

Soneva Kiri in Koh Kod, Thailand: eat while dangling from a nest-like treepod in a dense forest above the coastline of Koh Kood. Look out for zip-lining waiters!

Aurum in Clarke Quay, Singapore: this medical-themed restaurant involves entering through a “morgue”, being seated in a wheelchair at an operating table, and sifting through a surgical instrument drawer to get your cutlery.

Kinderkookkafe in Amsterdam, the Netherlands: attached to a daycare and run by children aged 5-12, this restaurant aims to teach kids all the nuances of operating a restaurant (with a helping hand from some adults, of course).

Villa Escudero in San Pablo, the Philippines: enjoy a meal while seated at the foot of a waterfall, with your feet submerged in calf-deep water.

Conflict Kitchen in Pittsburg, Pennsylvania: this spot serves only dishes inspired by countries that the US is in conflict with. Based on headlines of the day, recently the kitchen was dishing out North Korean food, in the spirit of Kim Jong Un. At the rate things are going, they might have bobotie on the menu soon!