I wrote a column a few weeks back to solicit your wishes for 2023, with visions of sugar plums, rainbows and unicorns that I could share with you today, to give us all some optimism for the new year. I envisioned an easy column with your short wishes for family moments and good cheer, something warm and nearly effortless to write. I erred, though. To get everyone’s brainwaves flowing, I offered my wish for 2023, that our community might come up with a platform where centrists from both sides of the political spectrum could reach compromises without people on the fringes drowning out thoughtful conversation. The idea certainly got your brainwaves flowing, but not on anything so superficial as good cheer. You sent me a stream of thoughtful material about the state of discourse in America, your hunger for a return to civilized debate and ideas on how we might get there. Talk about reasons for optimism. You gave me plenty. In the range of strategies that arrived, one writer wished for more states to embrace ranked choice voting in 2023, suggesting that candidates would have to immediately moderate their extremism to appeal the broader cross-sections of voters. Another suggested candidates simply start using the word “compromise” in their campaigns. Now, candidates promise to go to Washington or Columbus to “fight,” for causes, or constituents. That means they start off in entrenched positions ready for battle. Compromise is about give-and-take, winning on some fronts by giving in on others. It’s about entering the conversation not in a fighting stance but with a handshake. The writer said that some politicians talk about “reaching across the aisle,” but that is not the same as vowing to get things done through compromise. Just saying the word more often might help. A theme shared by several was about gathering people with opposing views together for good faith discussions on specific topics, with courtesy and respect required. Two writers discussed specific programs to do that. Larry Noel and Bill Shaul wrote to me about their Northeast Ohio chapter of Braver Angels, a bipartisan group that coordinates structured civil exchanges. This is a national movement – born right here in Ohio -- that began after the bitterness of the 2016 election. Noel and Shaul say Braver Angels already has expanded into every state in the union and has 20,000 members. It hosts debates, one-to-one conversations and other exchanges, and they said the workshops regularly lead to people from opposing political parties to find some agreement. The goal, they say, is to become “more curious and less furious.” Here in the newsroom, we’ll will have to write some stories about this group in the new year. Check it out at www.braverangels.org. Another Greater Cleveland writer has a similar idea and sent us a draft of a complex program to get it started. We asked him to write a guest column for our Forum section to introduce it, but he wants to refine it before going public. He’s so bothered by the discord today, though, that he is working on a template to get us past it. Two people wrote that they want curbs placed on politicians who lie. One suggested that the Federal Trade Commission regulate their ads, requiring truth in advertising. Their feeling is that politicians are out of control with their wild statements, dumping gasoline on the fire instead of leading by example with temperance. “If companies can't lie to us, why should politicians be able to?” one wrote. “Democracy is more important than potato chips!” Another writer discussed the state of mind needed for anyone participating in a negotiation: “The only truly fair compromise is when both (or all) participants walk away feeling that they were screwed." I received a bunch of others, but you get the idea. Most people seem hungry for friendly discussion and disagreement, with an aim of meeting in the middle. So many people remember former President Ronald Reagan and former House Speaker Tip O’Neil talking over a drink. That was so long ago. I did receive some notes from people who oppose any suggestion of compromise. They say they have compromised enough with a political party bent on destroying America. I found it interesting that the sentiment came from both sides of the political divide. (What would happen if they joined Braver Angels and began having conversations with each other?) And some rightly pointed out that there are issues upon which we would never compromise, as there are not two sides. The Holocaust is one example cited. The naysayers were the minority, though. Most people I heard from share my wish for peaceful conversation, negotiation and compromise. That’s reason for the optimism I was chasing when I asked for your ideas. Thank you. I’ll leave you with an excerpt from each of two notes that I’ve kept thinking about since I first read them: My father was a police officer, who became a detective, went to school at night to earn a degree and taught law enforcement, so when he was home for dinner, he would ask us about our days at school. I remember being a teen and oh, so sure about the world, and what was right and what was wrong. I would talk about things I learned in school about current affairs. And once I was finished on my soapbox, my father would begin to play devil's advocate, and twist the conversation to the other side.
The lasting lesson from those days 40 years ago is that, you never EVER assume all you know or have been taught or even all you've experienced is correct. Life is made up of multiple shades of gray. Dad's been gone for nearly 18 years now, and I WISH my kids could have experienced an adult conversation with him. It drives my husband nuts that I try so hard to see the other side of everything (he thinks I should at LEAST agree with him on issues), but I can't, and I'm actually kind of proud of it.
It does drive me nuts in today's society, and I have friends that feel SO STRONGLY that their political options are correct and we are all going to hell in a handbasket, but can't see that compromise would get more accomplished than standing your ground all the time. Giving in on some things to get others isn't losing, its being an adult.
And: Amen, Brother. Your column encapsulates my thoughts exactly. The founding fathers realized that anyone getting their own way completely would result in the same control they were fighting in the British monarchy. Our entire system is constructed so that compromise is essential to maintaining the republic. There is an overwhelming prevalence of forces that refuse any compromise that by their very nature are undermining our nation. The art of negotiation must be resurrected from the dead… Thank you for writing what so many are thinking. And thank you for all your emails and text messages over the past year. I wish you a warm, mirthful and peaceful end to 2022 and hope we continue our conversation in 2023. Thanks for reading. | 