Happy Father’s Day to all the dad’s out there!
My wife Michelle asked me what I wanted for Father’s Day, and all I want is to see my children happy (and her too!).
So today we’re taking a bike ride around Stanley Park here in Vancouver.
We’ll stop and play on the slides and swings…
And I’ll tickle my girls until they laugh and squirm.
Then we’ll stop for a late lunch… or maybe for a treat at Lucky’s Donuts (my favorite coffee shop).
That’s it.
The perfect day.
I’m a simple guy when it comes to what I want. I’m a little more complicated when it comes to “what makes me tick”.
But a few years ago I stumbled across a powerful quote that explains why men do what they do. If you’re a complicated man…
Or if you’re married to a complicated man…
If you’re a dad-preneur who gets “stuck” on problems that don’t always make sense…
If you find yourself with certain limiting beliefs or negative self-talk or other “golden handcuffs”…
If you don’t understand why your husband won’t change his unhealthy ways…
If you’re worried your sons are heading in the wrong direction…
This quote is going to hit you hard.
It explains me in two sentences.
“You can always understand the son by the story of his father. The story of the father is embedded in the son.” - Francis Ford Coppola
My father was a chaotic alcoholic.
I compensated by demanding control.
Growing up, every afternoon when the school bus dropped me off home on the farm, I never knew what behavior to expect from my father.
Would he be angry dad – yelling at me for making noise or being lazy?
Would he be a wild and crazy dad taking me out for a snowmobile ride to chase foxes at near-death experience speeds?
Would he be so drunk that my mother and I had to help him upstairs from his workshop to the dinner table?
Each day I was forced to play a game of “alcoholic roulette.”
This daily dose of small “t” trauma did a number on my developing mind.
Because I could not control the external chaos, I learned to control everything else.
I’ve been building systems since the age of six.
It was not fair what my father’s behavior did to me, and I’ve spent a long time working through the anger and shame that came with it.
But it wasn’t fair what my grandfather’s behavior did to my dad's childhood, or likely what my great-grandfather's behavior did to my grandfather's childhood, and so on down the line.
These generational curses are biblical in nature.
That’s why it’s up to us fathers to break the curses.
Long story short…
For better or for worse…
My childhood is how I’ve ended up here...
- Controlling what I can control
- Conquering or coping with what I can’t control
- So that I can concentrate on what counts
I turned my adversity into an advantage for myself, and to share with others so you could do the same.
A common theme in many of the men you’ll learn from in the world of personal development.
If you’ve ever heard Ed Mylett’s story of how – as a child – he learned to determine his drunk father’s mood by the way his dad’s keys jingled as he unlocked the front door and how dealing with his drunk father daily allowed Ed to build his superpower of empathy that led to Ed’s wealth and success.
If you’ve ever heard Bedros’ story of how his father snuck his family out of the communist Soviet Union and moved them to America where for the first few years of life was even harder and more embarrassing for his family than back in Armenia.
If you’ve ever heard the story of how Sharran’s father made Sharran take up tennis so that Sharran could get a scholarship to America – the land of opportunity.
If you’ve ever heard Coach Daniel Woodrum’s story about how the low standards of his father inspired Daniel to have the highest standards for himself as a father.
Every man (and many women) you meet can be explained by this simple quote:
“You can always understand the son by the story of his father. The story of the father is embedded in the son.”
The good news is...
Not all father-son stories need to turn out the way mine did.
You don’t need to throw a kid’s childhood into a dumpster for them to develop grit, resilience, empathy, boundaries, and discipline.
Obviously, there are far better ways to teach success habits — such as The Squire Program that Bedros has built for fathers and sons.
And the way that billionaire entrepreneur Sarah Blakely’s father encouraged dinner table discussion with his children as if they were adults, something that Blakeley says contributed massively to her success as a business owner.
But no matter your upbringing…
You can break generational curses.
The fact that you’re reading this email tells me you’re the kind of person who can and will.
Success Loves Speed,
Craig
PS - If you’re ready to 2X your income (or more) while working 10 less hours per week...
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