This week, Senior Reporter Kelsey Borresen wrote about the damaging things people in relationships say without even realizing it, and — yep, you guessed it — I am definitely guilty of a few. “You always”? Check. “You never”? Check. “It’s not a big deal”? Double check. Oof.

“Talking in absolutes and mischaracterizing your partner in this way succeeds in only one thing: Getting them to disregard everything you say after that,” Becky Whetstone, a marriage and family therapist in Little Rock, Arkansas, said. As someone who has both hurled those accusations and been on the receiving end of them, I can say that’s definitely true: It’s impossible to have a productive conversation when that kind of language is tossed around. And yet so many of us are guilty of it.

Here is the rest of the list. Take a read and strive to make some changes if they sound familiar — it’s resolution season, after all.

Xo, Ashley Rockman

Have you said any of these?

In case you missed it

David, 61, is one of seven people who opened up to HuffPost this week about never having been in a relationship. “One of the clichés of romantic fiction is that as soon as you stop looking, the right person will come along. In my experience, however, if you stop looking, you just stay alone,” he told us. “By making absolutely no effort to find a mate, I have succeeded in not finding one.” Some of the people senior reporter Brittany Wong interviewed are single by choice, like David, and others have thus far avoided relationships by circumstance. Their ages and life experiences range the gamut.

It’s a very interesting read

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