Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, February 16 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Daughter struck by subway train while trying to save mom pushed by a man. Pusher in jail now. ___________________________________________________ Today, February 16 in 1959 Fidel Castro seized power in Cuba after the overthrow of President Fulgencio Batista. ____________________________________________________ Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable. --- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956) ____________________________________________________ In a recent survey, 60 percent of respondents said the cities where they live is noisier now than they were five years ago. The other 40 percent didn't hear the question. ____________________________________________________ THE SECRETS OF WOMENS LANGUAGE Keywords and their meanings. 1. FINE This is the word a woman uses at the end of any argument that she feels she is right about but needs to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments. 2. FIVE MINUTES This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football/hockey or whatever game is going to last before you take out the trash, so she feels that it's an even trade. 3. NOTHING This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine". 4. GO AHEAD (with Raised Eyebrows) This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and eventually cause an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine". 5. GO AHEAD (without raised eyebrows) This means "I give up. Do what you want because I don't care." You will, however, get a Raised Eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing", and a "Five Minute" argument ending with "Fine". 6. LOUD SIGH Not actually a word of course but often a verbal cue misunderstood by men. The "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you're an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing there having a "Five Minute" argument with you over "Nothing". 7. SOFT SIGH One of the few sounds that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is not to move or breathe. Just stay clear. ____________________________________________________ Lighthouse of Andros Island in Tourlitis, Greece. ___________________________________________________ The hostess (with a daughter of marriageable age - of long duration) sent out an invitation to an officer (who was supposed to be the prospective suitor of her daughter's hand). "Mr. and Mrs. Dabney request the pleasure of Captain Black's company at dinner on the 16th of February." She was somewhat dismayed to receive the enthusiastic reply: "With the exception of four men on leave, and two sick, Captain Black's company accept with much pleasure your invitation to dinner on the 16th of February. There are 77 of us in Captain Black's company." __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Patrick Brooklin, 28, Atlanta, GA Daughter struck by subway train while trying to save mom pushed by man. Pusher in jail now. Horrified subway riders rushed to save a woman pushed in front of a commuter train in Atlanta, and the womans daughter was struck by the train while trying to help, witnesses said. A 28-year-old suspect was in custody after Sunday afternoons chaos at the citys Midtown Station, the Metropolitan Atlanta Rapid Transit Authority said in a statement. We tried to pull them out the track, transit rider Aiesha Bowden told WSB-TV . The train was coming too fast, it tried to stop but it couldnt. In a Monday update on the case, police said the daughter jumped on the tracks in an effort to assist her mother and was struck by a train. A 58-year-old woman was pushed into the path of the train, and her 27-year-old daughter then jumped onto the tracks to help her, MARTA police said Monday. Midtown Update: Suspect, age 28, in custody at this time. Ongoing investigation/charges pending. Patron, age 27, currently in surgery after being struck by train. Patron, age 58, in stable condition (unknown at present if struck by train). Rail service back to normal. The mother was also hurt, but had been released from a hospital by Monday morning, police said. Both women were conscious and alert when taken to the hospital, police said. MARTA police have not identified the women. Christopher Patrick Brooklin, 28, is charged with aggravated assault and battery in a public transit station. He was being held Monday in the Fulton County Jail. Jail booking records do not indicate whether he has an attorney who could be reached for comment. North and south rail service was temporarily disrupted at the station and a shuttle link put in place before the station resumed Sunday evening. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From:Dr Moe Re: A***** clock Dear Webby Like you, I really missed the analog clock in Windows. Today I changed the screen from 125% to 100%. The analog clock magically re-appeared! Pure Magic! Moe Dear Dr Moe! I tried it, and like you said, the clock magically re- appeared. The change to 100% messed up my icons, but that is a small price to pay. Let's not tell Microsoft! They still believe that the analog clock is a security hazard. It is NOT. Those false rumors started years ago, before Microsft cloned the clock. At that time the clock was available as a download, but it was bundled with a whole bunch of bad shit. The clock was always OK, just the bad shit on the download site was rather evil. Some clueless people blamed the clock and Microsoft freaked and blocked most gadgets. The gadgets were OK, just the download site, where the early clock was, was evil. Have FUN! DearWebby A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife,"Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of six?'" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right back, Anytime you're ready, Father of Four." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ On a beautiful sunny Saturday afternoon, Amanpreet stood on the first tee at his country club. He's just pulled out his driver when Judi, wearing a wedding dress, came running up to him, crying. "You BASTARD!" she screamed in his face. "You lousy, no-good God damned BASTARD!" Amanpreet calmly replied. "Judi, hon, what's the problem. I *distinctly told you *only* if it rained." ____________________________________________ >From Tina Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the couch with his head in my lap. I carefully removed his glasses. "You know, honey," I said sweetly, "Without your glasses you look like the same handsome young man I married." "Honey," he replied with a grin, "Without my glasses, you still look pretty good too!" He lived. ____________________________________________ Little Johnny's father took his small son to the zoo. They were standing in front of the tiger's cage at the zoo. Johnny's father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are, and little Johnny was taking it all in with a serious expression. "Dad," Johnny said finally, "if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you up..." "Yes, son?" Little Johnny's father said expectantly. Johnny continued, "...which bus should I take home?" ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today February 16 in 1741 Benjamin Franklin published Americas second magazine, "The General Magazine and Historical Chronicle". 1804 A raid was led by Lt. Stephen Decatur to burn the U.S. Navy frigate Philadelphia. The ship had been taken by pirates. 1857 The National Deaf Mute College was incorporated in Washington, DC. It was the first school in the world for advanced education of the deaf. The school was later renamed Gallaudet College. 1862 During the U.S. Civil War, about 14,000 Confederate soldiers surrendered to Gen. Ulysses S. Grant at Fort Donelson, TN. 1868 The Jolly Corks organization, in New York City, changed it name to the Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks (BPOE). 1914 The first airplane flight between Los Angeles and San Francisco took place. 1918 Lithuania proclaimed its independence. 1923 Howard Carter unsealed the burial chamber of Egyptian Pharaoh Tutankhamen. The next day he entered the chamber with several invited guests. He had originally found the tomb on November 4, 1922. 1932 The first fruit tree patent was issued to James E. Markham for a peach tree which ripens later than other varieties. 1937 Wallace H. Carothers received a patent for nylon. Carothers was a research chemist for Du Pont. 1938 The U.S. Federal Crop Insurance program was authorized. 1945 During World War II, U.S. troops landed on the island of Corregidor in the Philippines. 1946 The first commercially designed helicopter was tested in Connecticut. 1948 NBC-TV began airing its first nightly newscast, "The Camel Newsreel Theatre", which consisted of Fox Movietone newsreels. 1858 The first ironing board was patented by William Vandenburg and James Harvey. 1959 Fidel Castro seized power in Cuba after the overthrow of President Fulgencio Batista. 1960 The U.S.S. Triton began the first circumnavigation of the globe under water. The trip ended on May 10. 1968 In the U.S., the first 911 emergency telephone system was inaugurated in Haleyville, AL. 1970 Joe Frazier began his reign as the undefeated heavyweight world champion when he knocked out Jimmy Ellis in five rounds. He lost the title on January 22, 1973, when he lost for the first time in his professional career to George Foreman. 1987 John Demjanjuk went on trial in Jerusalem. He was accused of being "Ivan the Terrible", a guard at the Treblinka concentration camp. He was convicted, but the Israeli Supreme Court overturned the ruling. 1999 A bomb exploded at the government headquarters in Uzbekistan. Gunfire followed the incident. The event apparently was an attempt on the life of President Islam Karimov. 1999 Kurds seized embassies and held hostages across Europe following Turkey's arrest of Kurdish rebel leader Abdullah Ocalan. 1999 Testimony began in the Jasper, TX, trial of John William King. He was charged with murder in the gruesome dragging death of James Byrd Jr. King was later convicted and sentenced to death. 2002 The operator of a crematory in Noble, GA, was arrested after dozens of corpses were found stacked in storage sheds and scattered around in the surrounding woods. 2005 The Kyoto global warming pact went into effect in 140 nations. 2005 The NHL announced the cancellation of the 2004-2005 season due to a labor dispute. It was the first time a major sports league in North America lost an entire season to a labor dispute. 2021 Do smiled. |
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