Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, April 13 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Delray Beach Womans Bumping Leads To Battery On Senior Charge ___________________________________________________ Today, April 13 in 1979 The world's longest doubles ping-pong match ended after 101 hours. ____________________________________________________ We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) The average person thinks he isn't. --- Father Larry Lorenzoni The incompetent with nothing to do can still make a mess of it. --- Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988) ____________________________________________________ The fireman had rushed into a burning building and rescued a beautiful young lady who was clad only in the top half of her baby-doll nightgown. He carried her in his arms down three flights of stairs and four blocks all the way to his car behind the fire hall. As they arrived there, she looked at him with great admiration and said, "Oh, you are wonderful. It must have taken great strength and courage to rescue me the way you did." "Yes it did," the fireman admitted. "I had to fight off three other firemen who were trying to get to you before me." ____________________________________________________ Blue-haired old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next!" They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals. ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ There was a major sale at Victoria's Secret and Thorn wanted to get his wife some really sexy lingerie. The store was packed with women for this big sale and before he knew it, Thorn was pushed and shoved by frantic women all trying to get at the merchandise. Thorn remained calm for as long as he could, then bowed his head and pushed hard and effectively, and plowed through the crowd of women. I can just see him. When I worked with Thorn, he was a model of patience, up to a point. After that it was a lot safer to be out of tool throwing range. "Hey you!", an angry female voice yelled out at him, "Try acting like a gentleman!". "That's what I HAVE BEEN doing," Thorn retorted, "But since that doesn't work in this zoo, I'm gonna try to act like you wimin!" ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Karen Holbrook, Delray Beach, Florida, USA Delray Beach Womans Bumping Leads To Battery On Senior Charge Delray Beach resident Karen Neicy Holbrook is facing a charge of battery on someone 65 years of age or older after a bizarre incident on NE 5th Avenue. According to several witnesses, Holbrook was bumping into people on the sidewalk, and eventually hit a 71 year old woman, knocking her to the ground. The woman stood up, tried to walk away, but was blocked by Holbrook. As witnesses rushed to help the woman, Holbrook allegedly left the scene, entering an apartment in the area of 10 NE 5th Avenue. Delray Beach Police responded to the scene. The victim was checked out but apparently refused to be taken to the hospital. Police then located Karen Holbrook and charged her with battery on a senior citizen. According to police, she was uncooperative. Holbrook was booked into the Palm Beach County Jail on Thursday. She was released nearly 24 hours later on $1,000 bond. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Moe Re: Ad blocker Dear Webby but if it is like cookies that upset some sites, i just go find another source for same article. one that has no anti ad blocker software. usually works. Moe Dear Moe Right. There is a revolution brewing with the ads. Some people noticed that an ad brings in some money, so they got greedy and plastered too many ads on their site, and slowed it down to an unacceptable lack of speed. That is why more and more people, including me, installed ad blockers. Ideally, I would find an ad blocker that only activates if there is more than one ad on a page or if the ads take more than 2 seconds to load. I will gladly tolerate one ad, but not a herd of them. Have FUN! DearWebby There was a man and a woman in a parked car at a drive in movie. They were getting quite cozy in the back-seat of a small sports car when the man suddenly slipped a disk in his back. He was stuck and couldn't move at all, and neither could she. She was pinned beneath her 250 pound lover. They were desperate to get out so she managed to reach over the front seat with her leg and honk the horn. A big crowd gathered, all enjoying the free show. Some women volunteers served them coffee through the window while others worked to free them. Finally firemen cut away the top of the car. The 250 pound man was lifted out and the woman, sobbing was helped out of the car, too. The ambulance driver tried to calm her down telling her the man would be fine, but she was so upset. She said she was worried about how she was going to explain to her husband what happened to his company car! | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
Please donate a dollar,
or two, if you can afford it!
Please, help me stay online!
|
_____________________________________________ A teenaged boy with spiked hair, nose ring, and baggy clothes says to his friend,"I don't really like to dress like this, but it keeps my parents from making me go visit aunt Helen with them." ____________________________________________ While on a car trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, the man left his hat on the bench, but didn't miss it until they were back on the freeway. By then, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around. The woman fussed and complained all the way back to the restaurant, that they would be late getting to their destination, etc. She called her husband every bad name she could think of. When they finally arrived at the restaurant, as the man got out of the car to retrieve his hat, the woman yelled to him, "While you're in there, you might as well get my purse, too." ____________________________________________ David and an Italian and an Irishman, all first time fathers, are pacing nervously in a maternity ward waiting room when a nurse rushes out of the delivery room holding up a newborn black baby. "Yours?" she asked the Italian man, who immediately curses her out in Italian and says "No! notta my kid!" "Yours?" The nurse asks the Irishman, who answers "It blodie will betta not be!" "OK, then it must be yours", she informs David, who sheepishly looks at the ground and mumbles "It must be, my wife burns everything! ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, April 13 in 1598 King Henry IV of France signed the Edict of Nantes which granted political rights to French Protestant Huguenots. 1759 The French defeated the European allies in Battle of Bergen. 1775 Lord North extended the New England Restraining Act to South, Carolina, Virginia, Pennsylvania, New Jersey and Maryland. The act prohibited trade with any country other than Britain and Ireland. 1782 Washington, NC, was incorporated as the first town to be named for George Washington. 1808 William "Juda" Henry Lane perfected the tap dance. 1829 The English Parliament granted freedom of religion to Catholics. 1849 The Hungarian Republic was proclaimed. 1860 The first mail was delivered via Pony Express when a westbound rider arrived in Sacremento, CA from St. Joseph, MO. 1861 After 34 hours of bombardment, the Union-held Fort Sumter surrenders to Confederates. 1916 The first hybrid, seed corn was purchased for 15-cents a bushel by Samuel Ramsay. 1933 The first flight over Mount Everest was completed by Lord Clydesdale. 1941 German troops captured Belgrade, Yugoslavia. 1945 Vienna fell to Soviet troops. 1949 Philip S. Hench and associates announced that cortizone was an effective treatment for rheumatoid arthritis. 1959 A Vatican edict prohibited Roman Catholics from voting for Communists. 1960 The first navigational satellite was launched into Earth's orbit. 1961 The U.N. General Assembly condemned South Africa due to apartheid. 1962 In the U.S., major steel companies rescinded announced price increases. The John F. Kennedy administration had been applying pressure against the price increases. 1970 An oxygen tank exploded on Apollo 13, preventing a planned moon landing. 1979 The world's longest doubles ping-pong match ended after 101 hours. 1984 U.S. President Reagan sent emergency military aid to El Salvador without congressional approval. 1984 Christopher Walker was killed in a fight with police in New Hampshire. Walker was wanted as a suspect in the kidnappings of 11 young women in several states. 1990 The Soviet Union accepted responsibility for the World War II murders of thousands of imprisoned Polish officers in the Katyn Forest. The Soviets had previously blamed the massacre on the Nazis. 1998 NationsBank and BankAmerica announced a $62.5 billion merger, creating the country's first coast-to-coast bank. 1998 Dolly, the world's first cloned sheep, gave natural birth to a healthy baby lamb. 1999 Jack Kervorkian was sentenced in Pontiac, MI, to 10 to 25 years in prison for the second-degree murder of Thomas Youk. Youk's assisted suicide was videotaped and shown on "60 Minutes" in 1998. 2000 Richard Gordon was charged with trying to extort $250,000 from Louie Anderson in exchange for not telling the tabloid media about Anderson once asking him for sex. Gordon was held without bail pending a court hearing. 2000 It was announced that 69 people had died when the Arlahada, a Philippine ferry, capsized. 70 people were rescued. 2002 Twenty-five Hindus were killed and about 30 were wounded when grenades were thrown by suspected Islamic guerrillas near Jammu-Kashir. 2002 Venezuela's interim president, Pedro Carmona, resigned a day after taking office. Thousands of protesters had supported over the ousting of president Hugo Chavez. 2007 Google announced that it had acquired the advertising service company DoubleClick for $3.1 billion. 2021 Do smiled. |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Go to TOP
Well, Do , that's all for today.
Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com
Please give a friend a subscription to the Humor Letter
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them
in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If the greeting on top does NOT have your first name,
or at least your favorite nickname, please tell me.
I can correct that in two seconds and greet you properly
from then on.
If you want to give a gift subscription to a friend, but don't
have time to subscribe her or him, just hit REPLY and tell me.
I will gladly enter them for you and send them a confirmation request.
To reply to me personally, just hit REPLY or write to humor@webby.com
If you do not normally get the Humor Letter every day, and this was the first time,
then a friend sent you a one time sample or maybe even gave you a gift subscription.
If you like the Humor Letter, then you can subscribe at http://webby.com/sub.html
You can also UNsubscribe there.
If you don't want to receive the Webby Humor Letter,
please unsubscribe by clicking the link below:
You are currently subscribed to the Regular HTML version with this address:
newsletter@newslettercollector.com
UNSUBSCRIBE from the regular HTMLversion Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter | . | Search the web for:
Recommended Resources Find a human
Bypass voice menus
Web Tools
handy program downloads
SPAM CONTROL made Easy!
Click here for a FREE
30 day trial
This is the Mail Washer that I use and have
used for over 10 years. I have tested many
others, but Mail Washer is still The Best
spam control UNinstall completely and safely whatever you don't want anymore. I have used it for many years and highly recommend it. It even does an inventory of what you got and shows long forgotten stuff. Choose a reliable essay writing service
to cope with your assignments
much faster. Crap Cleaner Safely get rid of
tons of useless crap left over from
old, obsolete updates, temp files, lost
file fragments, etc.
STILL FREE
Babelfish Translator Converter Urban Legends
Truth or Hoax?
Check before believing chain letters
Great tool for getting rid of
spy-ware and mal-ware. Still FREE
This Undeleter will easily and securely recover deleted files from hard drives, flash drives, USB external drives, Zip drives, Firewire drives, digital camera cards, and more. This powerful recovery software can recover deleted files from most data loss scenarios.
Is your data worth recovery? SmartFix The ONLY Registry Fixer, that I recommend!
All In One PX Fixer has all the necessary tools included: Fix System Errors, Improve Startup, Clean Registry, Defrag Disk, Optimize System Settings, Back-Up, etc. Currently Smart OC Fixer is 50% off regular price!
Where is YOUR site?
Web Space for YOU,
from $2.50 up. Commercal grade:
No ads, no limits.
Full control, not just a myspace page.
Post your eBay detail pictures.
Domain Name registration:
Discuss your needs first, don't just register a name, that might not be good for you! Ask DearWebby first. That will save you a lot of money!
YOUR OWN
Postcard Site ! You too can easily have a postcard site for business or fun.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Cumuli Ezine Finder: Etiquette To Get Read
Ebook with power tips
for effective writing,
by DearWebby
Ads are $50 per month for subscribers only.
$60 per month for anybody else.
Dear Bubba
All is forgiven. I still love you. Please come back!
Ps. Congratulations on your lottery win!
Your Betty-Sue
That could be YOUR ad for $50 per month.
Subscribers only!
Nudist Colony of Alberta
Closed for the season
Space Weather
Solar storms, Auroras
Thesaurus
NASA Multimedia Gallery Sky Map: the interactive planetarium of the Web
Sky Watch: Calendar of celestial events
Weather Underground
Maps and Satellite
Do, Please Feed
Dear Webby!
Privacy Policy
Unique visitors since 1/1/11
Have FUN
Dear Webby
CEO of Webby, Inc
EB (Eligible Bachelor) DearWebby @ webby.com
Box 646
Black Diamond, AB T0L 0H0
Canada |
Unique visitors since 1/1/11
|
