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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, October 30, in 1975, The New York Daily News ran the headline "Ford to City: Drop Dead." The headline came a day after U.S. President Gerald R. Ford said he would veto any proposed federal bailout of New York City. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award goes to A man who killed his father shot by Glendale officers during a standoff has been moved from the hospital to jail ____________________________________________________ Bidet hasn't an enemy in the world - but all his friends hate him. --- Eddie Cantor (1892 - 1964) After all is said and done, a lot more will be said than done. --- Socratex ___________________________________________________ The hostess (with a daughter of marriageable age - of long duration) sent out an invitation to an officer (who was supposed to be the prospective suitor of her daughter's hand). "Mr. and Mrs. Dabney request the pleasure of Captain Black's company at dinner on the 16th of February." She was somewhat dismayed to receive the enthusiastic reply: "With the exception of four men on leave, and two sick, Captain Black's company accept with much pleasure your invitation to dinner on the 16th of February. There are 77 of us in Captain Black's company." _____________________________________________________ A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife,"Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of six?'" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right back, Anytime you're ready, Father of Three." __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock: An International Bonehead Award has been earned by Rafael Vargas-Olvera 26, Glendale, Arizona, USA A man who killed his father shot by Glendale officers during a standoff has been moved from the hospital to jail According to court documents, a woman called police on Aug. 25 to report that she had tried to call her father, but her brother answered the phone and said that he had shot the dad. "Rafael admitted to his sister that he just killed their dad," read a portion of the court documents. A person then reportedly called 911 and said that he had been stabbed while at a family gathering. The caller, later identified as 26-year-old Rafael Vargas-Olvera, said he shot the person who stabbed him and then locked himself inside the master bedroom. Officers eventually came to the home near 69th Avenue and Maryland and said Vargas-Olvera was not being cooperative with the 911 dispatcher, who told him to leave the home without any weapons. "Rafael told dispatch that he went outside and hopped the wall into the neighbor's yard, not complying with the instructions given by dispatch," court documents read. Officers at the scene then heard gunshots, and a SWAT team was called to the home. A drone was then deployed and police determined that Vargas- Olvera was inside the home. A robot was also deployed, and it was shot at by Vargas-Olvera, police said. Vargas-Olvera reportedly then began shooting at officers who were outside in front of the home. "Officers were taking cover behind the police vehicles while Rafael who at officers," court documents read. "The shots behind fired outside the residence and at the police vehicles were putting multiple officers and community members at risk of serious physical injury or death." One officer returned fire, and Vargas-Olvera went outside through the backyard with a rifle in his hand. Two SWAT team members on rooftops saw Vargas-Olvera and shot him. A K-9 was also brought in to help police get Vargas- Olvera into custody. Aside from the rifle, police said a handgun was found in Vargas-Olvera's pocket. A knife was later found in the home near the master bedroom. Fifty-three shell casings were also found inside. Vargas-Olvera was taken to a hospital with critical injuries. He has since been released from the hospital and was booked into jail on Oct. 11. The body of Vargas-Olvera's father, 48-year-old Antonio Vargas-Granados, was found inside the home. During an interview with investigators, police said Vargas- Olvera admitted to shooting his father because he was scared because he thought his father was armed when he heard "what sounded like a round being chambered or a gun slide racking." "Rafael stated he did not see any weapons in his father's hand nor did he render aid," court documents read. Vargas-Olvera faces a number of charges, including murder, aggravated assault and attempted murder of a police officer. Additionally, police said Vargas-Olvera caused over $10,000 worth of damage to police equipment when he opened fire at officers. He is being held on a $1 million cash-only bond. No officers were hurt during the incident. The drone and the robot officer were not dmaged. The Bonehead is eligible for the death penalty. _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ On a beautiful sunny Saturday afternoon, Amanpreet stood on the first tee at his country club. He's just pulled out his driver when Judi, wearing a wedding dress, came running up to him, crying. "You BASTARD!" she screamed in his face. "You lousy, no-good God damned BASTARD!" Amanpreet calmly replied. "Judi, hon, what's the problem. I distinctly told you *only* if it rained." ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Uber _________________________________________________ >From Tina Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the couch with his head in my lap. I carefully removed his glasses. "You know, honey," I said sweetly, "Without your glasses you look like the same handsome young man I married." "Honey," he replied with a grin, "Without my glasses, you still look pretty good too!" He lived. ____________________________________________________ Little Johnny's father took his small son to the zoo. They were standing in front of the tiger's cage at the zoo. Johnny's father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are, and little Johnny was taking it all in with a serious expression. "Dad," Johnny said finally, "if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you up..." "Yes, son?" Little Johnny's father said expectantly. Johnny continued, "...which bus should I take home?" ================================================= DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From:Dr Moe Re: Analog clock Dear Webby Like you, I really missed the analog clock in Windows. Today I changed the screen from 125% to 100%. The analog clock magically re-appeared! Pure Magic! Moe Dear Dr Moe! I tried it, and like you said, the clock magically re- appeared. The change to 100% messed up my icons, but that is a small price to pay. Let's not tell Microsoft! They still believe that the analog clock is a security hazard. It is NOT. Those false rumors started years ago, before Microsft cloned the clock. At that time the clock was available as a download, but it was bundled with a whole bunch of bad shit. The clock was always OK, just the bad shit on the download site was rather evil. Some clueless people blamed the clock and Microsoft, the Mother Superior of clueless, freaked and blocked most gadgets. The gadgets were OK, just the download site, where the early clock was, was evil. Dear Dr Moe! I tried it, and like you said, the clock magically re- appeared. The change to 100% messed up my icons, but that is a small price to pay. Let's not tell Microsoft! They still believe that the analog clock is a security hazard. It is NOT. Those false rumors started years ago, before Microsft cloned the clock. At that time the clock was available as a download, but it was bundled with a whole bunch of bad shit. The clock was always OK, just the bad shit on the download site was rather evil. Some clueless people blamed the clock and Microsoft freaked and blocked most gadgets. The gadgets were OK, just the download site, where the early clock was, was evil. Have FUN DearWebby _____________________________________________________ An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again." The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times already!" _____________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's News no sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt- in confirmation request. ____________________________________________________ Today, October 30, in 1735, John Adams, the second President of the United States, was born in Braintree, MA. His son became the sixth President of the U.S. 1817, The independent government of Venezuela was established by Simon Bolivar. 1831, Escaped slave Nat Turner was apprehended in Southampton County, VA, several weeks after leading the bloodiest slave uprising in American history. 1875, The constitution of Missouri was ratified by popular vote. 1893, The U.S. Senate gave final approval to repeal the Sherman Silver Purchase Act of 1890. 1894, The time clock was patented by Daniel M. Cooper of Rochester, NY. 1938, Orson Welles' "The War of the Worlds" aired on CBS radio. The belief that the realistic radio dramatization was a live news event about a Martian invasion caused panic among listeners. 1943, In Moscow, a declaration was signed by the Governments of the Soviet Union, the United Kingdom, the United States and China called for an early establishment of an international organization to maintain peace and security. The goal was supported on December 1, 1943, at a meeting in Teheran. 1945, The U.S. government announced the end of shoe rationing. 1953, General George C. Marshall was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. 1961, The Soviet Union tested a hydrogen bomb with a force of approximately 58 megatons. 1961, The Soviet Party Congress unanimously approved an order to remove Joseph Stalin's body from Lenin's tomb. 1972, U.S. President Richard Nixon approved legislation to increase Social Security spending by $5.3 billion. 1972, In Illinois, 45 people were killed when two trains collided on Chicago's south side. 1975, Prince Juan Carlos assumed power in Spain as dictator Francisco Franco was near death. 1975, The New York Daily News ran the headline "Ford to City: Drop Dead." The headline came a day after U.S. President Gerald R. Ford said he would veto any proposed federal bailout of New York City. 1982, Portugal's constitution was revised for the first time since it was ratified on April 25, 1976. 1984, In Poland, police found the body of kidnapped pro- Solidarity priest Father Jerry Popieluszko. His death was blamed on four security officers. 1989, Mitsubishi Estate Company announced it would buy 51 percent of Rockefeller Group Inc. of New York. 1993, Martin Fettman, America's first veterinarian in space, performed the world's first animal dissections in space, while aboard the space shuttle Columbia. 1993, The United Nations deadline concerning ousted Haitian President Jean-Bertrand Aristide passed with country's military still in control. 1995, Federalist prevailed over separatists in Quebec in a referendum concerning secession from the federation of Canada. 1998, The terrorist who hijacked a Turkish Airlines plane and the 39 people on board was killed when anti-terrorist squads raided the plane. 2022 Do smiled.
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