Good Morning, Do, Today is Saturday, April 7 Thank you very much, Joe T! Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: One of the 'worst DUI offenders in the country' arrested again Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, April 7 in 1970 John Wayne won his first and only Oscar for his role in "True Grit." He had been in over 200 films See More of what happened on this day in history.
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 ______________________________________________________ The smaller the mind the greater the conceit. --- Aesop (620 BC - 560 BC) _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ A bishop discovered a tribe of Indians in the Amazon who had never recorded a baptism, confirm- ation or marriage. The bishop soon rectified the situation by baptizing and confirming everyone. He also married every couple that walked by and desired such. Later, the tribal chief told the Bishop the tribe had never had so much fun. The bishop asked the chief which part they enjoyed the most. "The marriage service," the chief said, smiling. "We all got new wives!" _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________   _____________________________________________________ 
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 _____________________________________________________ In Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, many farmers are reluctant to buy into anything that smacks of technology and the modern-day world. But when a local university created an agricultural web page to answer questions the farmers might have, they were pleasantly surprised to hear that the farming community had nicknamed the new site "The farmers on the Dell." _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Tasha Schleicher, 41, New Home, Minnasota  One of the 'worst DUI offenders in the country' arrested again  Police in the suburbs of Chicago arrested a woman they said is one of the worst DUI offenders in the country. Riverside police arrested Tasha Schleicher, 41, of New Home, Minn., on Monday around 9:30 p.m. Police said they got a call about a woman passed out behind the wheel of her car in a gas station at 2246 South Harlem Avenue. When officers arrived, they saw an open bottle of Crown Royal in the front passenger seat. Officers in Riverside said she tried to fill her car with kerosene instead of gasoline. She was charged with drunk driving, not having insurance and driving without a license, which was revoked on drunk driving charges. Riverside police said she was combative with officers the entire time. She lied about her name, date of birthdate, Social Security number, and also lied about being pregnant, police said. Schleicher told police that she was in the area after dropping off her son, who wanted to party in Indiana for spring break, according to the Riverside-Brookfield Landmark. She has six DUIs in six states, according to police. In one incident, she was with her children in the car when she lost control and slammed into the median multiple times before her tire blew and the bare rim forced her to stop five miles later. When an officer approached the car, she was allegedly nursing the infant. During another DUI arrest, she told the officer who pulled her over that she had her children with her, even though she was alone in the car, according to the paper. Schleicher's 11 children have been taken away from her in Minnesota, all related to drunk and impaired driving situations, according to police.   Tech Support Pits From: Doug Re: AOL Flag  Dear Webby have never heard anybody calling those chevron forwarding marks "AOL Flag", but I sure will from now on! Once upon a time, long, long ago, you mentioned a program that strips those AOL flags from mails. Do you still have the link to that program? Thanks Doug  Dear Doug Just go to my toolbox at http://webby.com/tools and look for a n icon that looks like a traffic sign with an AOL flag on it. The Program is called "STRIP". and it's free. Have FUN DearWebby    John and Bob were two of the bitterest golf rivals at the club. Neither man trusted the others arithmetic. One day they were playing a heated match and watching each other like hawks. After holing out on the fourth green and marking his six on the scorecard, John asked Bob, "What'd you have?" Bob went through the motions of mentally counting up. "Six!" he said and then hastily corrected himself. "No--a five." Calmly John marked the scorecard, saying out loud "Eight!" "Eight?" Bob said, "I couldn't have had eight." John said, "Nope, you claimed six, then changed it to five. But actually you had seven." "Then why did you mark down eight?" asked Bob. John told him, "One stroke penalty, for improving your LIE." 
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 Working as a computer instructor for an adult-education program at a community college, I am keenly aware of the gap in computer knowledge between my younger and older students. My observations were confirmed the day a new student walked into our library area and glanced at the encyclopedia volumes stacked on a bookshelf. "What are all these books?" he asked. Somewhat surprised, I replied that they were encyclopedias. "Really?" he said. "Someone printed out the whole CD?" 
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 Bimba pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor." She asks, "How often do I have to do that?" ____________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com An irritated father complained to his golf buddy. "When I was a kid, my parents sent me to my room without supper if I misbehaved. But my son has his own color TV, telephone, computer, every computer game and CD player in his room!" "So how do you handle it?" his friend asked. "If he doesn't behave, I send him to MY room!"  Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________  Two church members were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message and slammed the door in their faces. To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back open. She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with the same result - the door bounced back open. Convinced these rude young people were sticking their foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when one of them yelled, "Ma'am, STOP! You knocked out your cat with the first slam. If you are going to keep doing that, you are going to get some very expensive vet bills!"  
The delicate art of cobweb painting. I had never heard of cobweb paintings but they are beautiful! 
 ___________________________________________________ Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm, and Little Johnny asked his mom, "Where'd we get him?" His mother replied, "He came from heaven, Johnny." Johnny said, "Well I can see why they threw HIM out!" ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today, April 7 in 1712 A slave revolt broke out in New York City. 1798 The territory of Mississippi was organized. 1862 Union General Ulysses S. Grant defeated Confederates at the Battle of Shiloh, TN. 1864 The first camel race in America was held in Sacramento, California. 1888 P.F. Collier published a weekly periodical for the first time under the name "Collier's." 1922 U.S. Secretary of Interior leased Teapot Dome naval oil reserves in Wyoming. 1927 The first long-distance TV transmission was sent from Washington, DC, to New York City. The audience saw an image of Commerce Secretary Herbert Hoover. 1930 The first steel columns were set for the Empire State Building. 1933 Prohibition ended in the United States. 1943 British and American armies linked up between Wadi Akarit and El Guettar in North Africa to form a solid line against the German army. 1945 The Japanese battleship Yamato, the world's largest battleship, was sunk during the battle for Okinawa. The fleet was headed for a suicide mission. 1948 The United Nations' World Health Organization began operations. 1953 IBM unveiled the IBM 701 Electronic Data Processing Machine. It was IBM's first commercially available scientific computer. 1957 The last of New York City's electric trolleys completed its final run from Queens to Manhattan. 1963 Yugoslavia proclaimed itself a Socialist republic. 1963 Josip Broz Tito was proclaimed to be the leader of Yugoslavia for life. 1966 The U.S. recovered a hydrogen bomb it had lost off the coast of Spain. 1967 Israel reported that they had shot down six Syrian MIGs. 1969 The U.S. Supreme Court unanimously struck down laws prohibiting private possession of obscene material. 1970 John Wayne won his first and only Oscar for his role in "True Grit." He had been in over 200 films. 1971 U.S. President Nixon pledged to withdraw 100,000 more men from Vietnam by December. 1980 The U.S. broke diplomatic relations with Iran and imposed economic sanctions in response to the taking of hostages on November 4, 1979. 1983 Specialist Story Musgrave and Don Peterson made the first Space Shuttle spacewalk. 1983 The Chinese government canceled all remaining sports and cultural exchanges with the U.S. for 1983. 1985 In Goteborg, Sweden, China swept all of the world table tennis titles except for men's doubles. 1985 In Sudan, Gen. Swar el-Dahab took over the Presidency while President Gaafar el-Nimeiry was visiting the U.S. and Egypt. 1985 The Soviet Union announced a unilateral freeze on medium-range nuclear missiles. 1988 Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev agreed to final terms of a Soviet withdrawal from Afghanistan. Soviet troops began leaving on May 16, 1988. 1988 In Fort Smith, AR, 13 white supremacists were acquitted on charges for plotting to overthrow the U.S. federal government. 1989 A Soviet submarine carrying nuclear weapons sank in the Norwegian Sea. 1990 In the U.S., John Poindexter was found guilty of five counts at his Iran-Contra trial. The convictions were later reversed on appeal. 1990 At Cincinnati's Contemporary Arts Center a display of Robert Mapplethorpe's photographs went on display. On the same day the center and its director were indicted on obscenity charges. The charges resulted in acquittal. 1994 Civil war erupted in Rwanda between the Patriotic Front rebel group and government soldiers. Hundreds of thousands were slaughtered in the months that followed. 1998 Mary Bono, the widow of Sonny Bono, won a special election to serve out the remainder of her husband's congressional term. 1999 Yugoslav authorities sealed off Kosovo's main border crossings to prevent ethnic Albanians from leaving. 2000 U.S. President Clinton signed the Senior Citizens Freedom to Work Act of 2000. The bill reversed a Depression-era law and allows senior citizens to earn money without losing Social Security retirement benefits. 2002 The Roman Catholic archdiocese announced that six priests from the Archdiocese of New York were suspended over allegations of sexual misconduct. 2006 The Boeing X-37 conducted its first flight as a test drop at Edwards Air Force Base, CA. 2009 Former Peruvian President Alberto Fujimori was sentenced to 25 years in prison for ordering killings and kidnappings by security forces. 2018 Do smiled. 
 
 

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