Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, January 18 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! Today's Bonehead Award: ______________________________________________________ Today, January 18 in 1939 Louis Armstrong and his orchestra recorded "Jeepers Creepers." More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it. --- Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826) Don't ever take a fence down until you know the reason it was put up. --- G. K. Chesterton (1874 - 1936) ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Wendi I was on the phone trying to set up a furniture delivery. "If you would like to arrange a delivery date, please press one," the automated voice prompted me. "If you would like to confirm delivery, please press two." At that moment my three-year-old daughter let out an ear- piercing shriek. "I'm sorry," the automated voice said, "that is not a valid response." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Don goes into business for himself. He buys a hotdog cart and sets it up in a prime spot on a busy downtown corner, right near a large bank. One day, his friend Jim approaches him and asks Don if he can lend him some money. Don refuses. "But why?" asks Jim. "Everyone knows you're doing well, and I'm not asking for much." "Well, Jim, in order to get this spot I had to sign a Non- competition Agreement with that bank over there. According to the terms of the agreement, they're don't sell hot dogs, and I don't lend money." ______________________________________________________ Ring Neck Pheasant on Kenny Hollow Rd. Yale Forest, Union, CT. 12-31-2018 D J Laroche Photography _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ashley Kristen Keister, 28, Nanticoke, Pennsylvania Woman smashed way into station looking for cop she was sexually harassing A Pennsylvania woman was caught on surveillance cameras busting her way into a small-town police station looking for the police officer she's been sexually harassing since he arrested her last May, police officials said. Ashley Kristen Keister, 28, of Nanticoke, was booked Monday on charges of aggravated assault on a police officer, harassment by communicating lewd or threatening language, two counts of criminal mischief, two counts of institutional vandalism, loitering and prowling at night, disorderly conduct and burglary, according to court records. She is being held in the Luzerne County Jail in lieu of $50,000 bond. From: Janice Re: Eudora and FireFox Dear DearWebby, I see Eudora has a free download. But does it cost anything to use or to have just a personal account? I hate Chrome and Google (which I think are the same or closely connected) but Firefox suits me fine. Is Eudora compatible with Firefox? Janice Dear Janice Eudora is free. It is a self sufficient, independent program and does not need ANY browser. I remember it was working just fine long before Microsoft copied Netscape and created Internet Explorer. There used to be a hot religious war between Netscape users and Microsoft Internet Explorer users. It made no difference to Eudora users. If Eudora is too Industrial looking for you, you can get ThunderBird. It is based on the Eudora core, but has all the corners rounded off and colored nicely. Millions of former Eudora users now use Thunderbird, because Windows 7 Pro and Windows 10 does not mesh with Eudora very well. For example clicking on an email address in Excel SHOULD open a new mail in Eudora with that address already in the TO line. Unfortunately, Windows is a bit unreliable about that. With Thunderbird there is no problem with that. Eudora is at https://eudora.en.softonic.com/ Thunderbird is at https://www.thunderbird.net/en-US/ Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. Year after year Bubba's wife pleaded with him to take her fishing but he kept telling her she would not enjoy it. She, finally, wore him down, he consented, and early one morning they took off to the lake. They had not been there very long when the fish began biting. Almost as fast as they cast, a fish would bite, and they reeled it in. After catching their limit, Bubba said, "Verna Lou, sweet thang, I'm sorry. You've been good luck and I'm gonna bring you with me the next time. If you'll mark the spot where we caught all these fish, we'll go home." On the way home, Bubba turned to Verna Lou and said, "Sweet thang, how did you mark the spot were all the fish are so next time I'll know?" "Bubba, darlin', I put a big 'X' on the side of the boat right down closest to the water." "Sweet thang, that's about the dumbest thing I ever seed you do. Don't you know that won't work? We may not get the same boat the next time!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
A bus driver is conducting a tour of famous Civil War battle sites. "Here," he points out at one spot, "is where the Southern troops routed a whole regiment of Yankees. Over there, the Reb's wiped out a whole platoon of Yanks. Down about a mile, there's another valley where we captured a thousand Union soldiers." A tourist says, "Didn't the North ever win a battle?" "Maybe, Ma'am. But not while I'm driving this bus." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Vegetable Oil on Your Snow Shovel Coat your snow shovel with some vegetable oil to keep snow from sticking to it. Use the cheapest cooking oil you have on hand. Make sure you carefully wash off that oil before the dusty season! Unlike dry Moly lube or spray-on Ski wax, cooking oil attracts and binds dust into a rough crust that will make your life miserable next year. Have FUN! DearWebby Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ | | The 2019 Harbin Ice and Snow Festival. |
___________________________________________________ My wife and I were visiting her 95-year-old grandfather when he asked us to take him to buy a new hat. My wife took me aside. "I'm worried that he doesn't have enough money, and he'll be very embarrassed," she said. So I asked the salesperson to tell my wife's grandfather that whichever hat he chose cost $15. I would pay the difference. Grandpa picked out a hat and was charged $15. After he left, I paid the other $45 of the price. Later Grandpa said, "What a bargain! The last one I bought there cost me $60." ___________________________________________________ One woman was talking to her friend. "You should listen to my neighbor," she said. "She is always bad-mouthing her poor husband behind his back. I think that's so rude. Look at me! My husband is fat, lazy, cheap, and no good in bed, but have you ever heard me say a bad word about him?" ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
One criminal who was accused of several murders and robbery was sentenced to death by the judge of the court. It was decided that the criminal will be shot in front of a firing squad on a particular day. On that very day, the weather was very foul. It rained cats and dogs. There was no sufficient light to see anything clearly. But duty is duty so the captain of the squad along with his five soldiers took the criminal and started walking to the spot. On the way the criminal told the Captain, "See,what a weather! I am not afraid of death, but this day is not suitable for dying. What do you think?" "Truly, the weather is very foul", the Captain replied, "But you are fortunate as you are only going one way, just think of our condition! We have to go all the way back!". ___________________________________________________ | Today January 18 in 1778 English navigator Captain James Cook discovered the Hawaiian Islands, which he called the "Sandwich Islands." 1788 The first English settlers arrived in Australia's Botany Bay to establish a penal colony. The group moved north eight days later and settled at Port Jackson. 1871 Wilhelm, King of Prussia from 1861, was proclaimed the first German Emperor. 1886 The Hockey Association was formed in England. This date is the birthday of modern field hockey. 1896 The x-ray machine was exhibited publicly for the first time. 1911 For the first time an aircraft landed on a ship. Pilot Eugene B. Ely flew onto the deck of the USS Pennsylvania in San Francisco harbor. 1919 The World War I Peace Congress opened in Versailles, France. 1939 Louis Armstrong and his orchestra recorded "Jeepers Creepers." 1943 During World War II, the Soviets announced that they had broken the Nazi siege of Leningrad, which had began in September of 1941. 1943 U.S. commercial bakers stopped selling sliced bread. Only whole loaves were sold during the ban until the end of World War II. 1948 "The Original Amateur Hour" debuted. The show was on the air for 22 years. 1950 The federal tax on oleomargarine was repealed. 1957 The first, non-stop, around-the-world, jet flight came to an end at Riverside, CA. The plane was refueled in mid-flight by huge aerial tankers. 1964 The plans for the original World Trade Center in New York were unveiled to the public. 1967 Albert DeSalvo, who claimed to be the "Boston Strangler," was convicted in Cambridge, MA, of armed robbery, assault and sex offenses. He was sentenced to life in prison. Desalvo was killed in 1973 by a fellow inmate. 1972 Former Rhodesian prime minister Garfield Todd and his daughter were placed under house arrest for campaigning against Rhodesian independence. 1978 The European Court of Human Rights cleared the British government of torture but found it guilty of inhuman and degrading treatment of prisoners in Northern Ireland. 1987 For the first time in history the Public Broadcasting System (PBS) was seen by over 100 million viewers. The audience was measured during the week of January 12-18. 1990 A jury in Los Angeles, CA, acquitted former preschool operators Raymond Buckey and his mother, Peggy McMartin Buckey, of 52 child molestation charges. 1990 In an FBI sting, Washington, DC, Mayor Marion Barry was arrested for drug possession. He was later convicted of a misdemeanor. 1991 Eastern Airlines shut down after 62 years in business due to financial problems. 1995 The "yahoo.com" domain was registered. 1995 A network of caves were discovered near the town of Vallon- Pont-d'Arc in southern France. The caves contained paintings and engravings that were 17,000 to 20,000 years old. 1997 Hutu militiamen killed three Spanish aid workers and three soldiers and seriously wound an American in a night attack in NW Rwanda. 2000 The Chinese web services company Baidu, Inc. was incorporated in Beijing. 2002 The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced the approval of a saliva-based ovulation test. 2012 Wikipedia began a 24-hour "blackout" in protest against proposed anti-piracy legislation (S. 968 and H.R. 3261) known as the Protect Intellectual Property Act (PIPA) in the Senate and the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) in the House. Many websites, including Reddit, Google, Facebook, Amazon and others, contended it would make it challenging if not impossible for them to operate. 2018 Do smiled. |
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