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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, March 10, in 1945, American B-29 bombers attacked Tokyo, Japan, 100,000 were killed. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: 'Known dealer' in Phoenix arrested with thousands of fentanyl pills and a gun __________________________________________________ Q First love is a kind of vaccination which saves a man from catching the complaint a second time. --- Honore de Balzac (1799 - 1850) I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. --- Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004) ________________________________________________ The 70-year-old man sat down in the orthopedic surgeon's office. "You know, Doc," he said, "I've made love in more exotic cars than anyone I know. Must be at least a thousand." "And now, I suppose, you want me to treat you for the arthritis you got from scrunching up in all those uncomfortable positions," the medic said. "Nah," the old fellow replied. "I want to borrow your Lamborghini!" ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ A husband had been away for a few months and had a romantic evening planned for him and his wife. He sent the two older kids to the movies but could not persuade the youngest boy to go along. Finally he makes a deal with the boy. If the boy will go sit on the curb in front of their house, the father will give the boy $5 for every man he sees go by in a red hat. A while later the little boy comes running into the house and bangs on the bedroom door and shouts "Dad, are you sure you can afford that ? You'd better come outside, there's a Shriner convention in town and they are all marching up our street. Looks like about 650 of them." ________________________________________________ 3 year-old Kelli went with her neighbor girl to church for First Communion practice. The pastor has the children cup their hands, and when he gives them the Host-in, this practise case, a piece of bread- he says: "God be with you." Apparently this made quite an impression on Kelli. She came home and told her mother to cup her hands and bend down. Kelli took a piece of bread from her sandwich, placed it in her mother's hands, and whispered, in her most angelic voice: "God will get you." __________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Two writers of modern poetry who had been bitter rivals for 7 years met on a busy street corner. "You know, since we last met, my audience has increased!" the first said. "Congratulations!" the second one said. "How did you do it? By marriage or by adoption? " ------------ Sounds like my subscriber list. I may have to marry a bunch of people to increase the list of subscribers. ________________________________________________ The new Vicar was up early one Sunday morning, walking round his new parish, after leaving his wife in bed with the Sunday papers, her cup of tea, and a pack of cigarettes. One of the old villagers came up to him and said. "Good morning Vicar, how be you and the wife?" The Vicar said, "Good morning my man, I am fine, the wife is fine also as I left her in bed smoking." The villager said, "Arr, Vicar, that's the way to love 'em!" ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Wife: "I'm happy to see that the neighbors finally returned our lawn mower before they moved. They certainly had it long enough." Husband: "*Our* lawn mower? I just bought it at the garage sale they're having." ___________________________________________________ Linda was with her mother while her older sister was being examined by a dentist. Linda kept herself busy playing with toys in the waiting room until she noticed that her mom was resting, her eyes closed. With about six other patients waiting, Linda marched up to her mother, looked her straight in the face and shook her shoulder. "Mommy," she yelled, "wake up! This is not church!" __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Raul Diaz-Perez, 24, Phoenix, Arizona, USA 'Known dealer' in Phoenix arrested with thousands of fentanyl pills and a gun A 24-year-old man is in trouble after he was caught with thousands of fentanyl pills during a Phoenix traffic stop, the police department said. On Jan. 24, officers stopped 24-year-old Raul Diaz-Perez, who they called a "known dealer," while he was driving near I-17 and Indian School Road. "The investigation led to the service of a search warrant of the vehicle. Approximately 25,000 fentanyl pills, 1 handgun, and $820 were found," police said. He was booked into jail on suspicion of several crimes. Recently, #PHXPD600Officers stopped a vehicle of a known dealer in the area of I-17 and Campbell Ave. The investigation revealed the following: 25,000 fentanyl pills 1 handgun $800 in cash _________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Cammie Re: Can keyboards be cleaned in the dishwasher? DearWebby My keyboard is getting rather grungy, mostly because of my kids eating while playing. Can I clean it in the dish-washer? Cammie Dear Cammie Yes, modern keyboards can handle that quite safely. There are no old-fashioned electrical contacts inside, just keys getting closer to a chip, that measures capacitance. Just make sure you dry it well afterward. Have FUN! DearWebby _________________________________________________ Today, March 10 0241 BC, The Roman fleet sank 50 Carthaginian ships in the Battle of Aegusa. 1496, Christopher Columbus concluded his second visit to the Western Hemisphere when he left Hispaniola for Spain. 1629, England's King Charles I dissolved Parliament and did not call it back for 11 years. 1656, In the American colony of Virginia, suffrage was extended to all free men regardless of their religion. 1785, Thomas Jefferson was appointed minister to France. He succeeded Benjamin Franklin. 1792, John Stone patented the pile driver. 1804, The formal ceremonies transferring the Louisiana Purchase from France to the U.S. took place in St. Louis. 1806, The Dutch in Cape Town, South Africa surrendered to the British. 1814, In France, Napoleon Bonaparte was defeated by a combined Allied Army at the battle of Laon. 1848, The U.S. Senate ratified the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo, which ended the war with Mexico. 1849, Abraham Lincoln applied for a patent for a device to lift vessels over shoals by means of inflated cylinders. 1864, Ulysses S. Grant became commander of the Union armies in the U.S. Civil War. 1876, Alexander Graham Bell made the first successful call with the telephone. He spoke the words "Mr. Watson, come here, I want to see you." 1880, The Salvation Army arrived in the U.S. from England. 1893, New Mexico State University canceled its first graduation ceremony because the only graduate was robbed and killed the night before. 1894, New York Gov. Roswell P. Flower signed the nation's first dog-licensing law. 1902, The Boers of South Africa scored their last victory over the British, when they captured British General Methuen and 200 men. 1902, Tochangri, Turkey, was entirely wiped out by an earthquake. 1903, Harry C. Gammeter patented the multigraph duplicating machine. 1903, In New York's harbor, the disease-stricken ship Karmania was quarantined with six dead from cholera. 1906, In France, 1,200 miners were buried in an explosion at Courrieres. 1909, Britain extracted territorial concessions from Siam and Malaya. 1910, Slavery was abolished in China. 1912, China became a republic after the overthrow of the Manchu Ch'ing Dynasty. 1924, The U.S. Supreme Court upheld a New York state law forbidding late-night work for women. 1927, Prussia lifted its Nazi ban allowing Adolf Hitler to speak in public. 1933, Nevada became the first U.S. state to regulate drugs. 1940, W2XBS-TV in New York City aired the first televised opera as it presented scenes from "I Pagliacci". 1941, The Brooklyn Dodgers announced that their players would begin wearing batting helmets during the 1941 season. 1941, Vichy France threatened to use its navy unless Britain allowed food to reach France. 1944, The Irish refused to oust all Axis envoys and denied the accusation of spying on Allied troops. 1945, American B-29 bombers attacked Tokyo, Japan, 100,000 were killed. 1947, The Big Four met in Moscow to discuss the future of Germany. 1947, Poland and Czechoslovakia signed a 20-year mutual aid pact. 1949, Nazi wartime broadcaster Mildred E. Gillars, also known as "Axis Sally," was convicted in Washington, DC. Gillars was convicted of treason and served 12 years in prison. 1953, North Korean gunners at Wonsan fired upon the USS Missouri. The ship responded by firing 998 rounds at the enemy position. 1956, Julie Andrews at the age of 23 made her TV debut in "High Tor" with Bing Crosby and Nancy Olson. 1966, The North Vietnamese captured a Green Beret camp at Ashau Valley. 1966, France withdrew from NATO's military command to protest U.S. dominance of the alliance and asked NATO to move its headquarters from Paris. 1969, James Earl Ray pled guilty in Memphis, TN, to the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr. Ray later repudiated the guilty plea and maintained his innocence until his death in April of 1998. 1971, The U.S. Senate approved an amendment to lower the voting age to 18. 1975, The North Vietnamese Army attacked the South Vietnamese town of Ban Me Thout. 1980, Iran's leader, Ayatollah Khomeini, lent his support to the militants holding American hostages in Tehran. 1982, The U.S. banned Libyan oil imports due to their continued support of terrorism. 1986, The Wrigley Company of Chicago raised the price of its seven-stick pack of Wrigleys chewing gum from a quarter to 30 cents. 1987, The Vatican condemned surrogate parenting as well as test-tube and artificial insemination. 1990, Haitian President Prosper Avril was ousted 18 months after seizing power in a coup. 1991, "Phase Echo" began. It was the operation to withdraw 540,000 U.S. troops from the Persian Gulf region. 1994, White House officials began testifying before a federal grand jury about the Whitewater controversy. 1995, U.S. Secretary of State Warren Christopher told Yasser Arafat that he must do more to curb Palestinian terrorists. 1998, U.S. troops in the Persian Gulf began receiving the first vaccinations against anthrax. 2002, The Associated Press reported that the Pentagon informed the U.S. Congress in January that it was making contingency plans for the possible use of nuclear weapons against countries that threaten the U.S. with weapons of mass destruction, including Iraq and North Korea. 2003, North Korea test-fired a short-range missile. The event was one of several in a patter of unusual military maneuvers. 2023, Do smiled.
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