Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, June 11 Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Philadelphia teacher accused of taking bribes from students Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, June 11 in 1990 The U.S. Supreme Court wimps struck down a law that would prohibit the desecration of the American Flag. More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ We seem to believe it is possible to ward off death by following rules of good grooming. --- Don Delillo Things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things that matter least. --- Goethe ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ How to Make a Woman Happy It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be: 1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. a brother 5. a father 6. a master 7. a chef 8. an electrician 9. a carpenter 10. a plumber 11. a mechanic 12. a decorator 13. a stylist 14. a sexologist 15. a gynecologist 16. a psychologist 17. a pest exterminator 18. a psychiatrist 19. a healer 20. a good listener 21. an organizer 22. a good father 23. very clean 24. sympathetic 25. athletic 26. warm 27. attentive 28. gallant 29. intelligent 30. funny 31. creative 32. tender 33. strong 34. understanding 35. tolerant 36. prudent 37. ambitious 38. capable 39. courageous 40. determined 41. true 42. dependable 43. passionate 44. compassionate WITHOUT FORGETTING TO: 45. give her compliments regularly 46. love shopping 47. be honest 48. be very rich 49. not stress her out 50. not look at other girls AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOY MUST ALSO: 51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself 52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself 53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes IT IS ALSO VERY IMPORTANT: 54. Never to forget: * birthdays * anniversaries * arrangements she makes (Whether she tell you about them or not) FOR WOMEN HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY 1. Show up naked 2. Bring food _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Oswego Harbor with the Oswego Lighthouse. _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ The young secretary was describing her evening's exploits to a friend. "After dinner," she said, "he wanted to come back to my apartment, but I refused. I told him my mother would worry if I did anything like that." "That was smart," her friend said, approvingly, "Then what happened?" "He kept insisting, and I kept refusing," the secretary said. "You didn't weaken your resolve did you?" asked the friend. "Not one bit. In the end, we went to his apartment. I figured, let HIS mother worry." ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Amanda Richardson, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Philadelphia teacher accused of taking bribes from students A Philadelphia high school has removed a teacher from the classroom after she was accused of taking bribes from students in exchange for better grades. NBC10 received a tip that Amanda Richardson, a humanities teacher at LINC High School, was giving students higher grades in exchange for undisclosed bribes. The school district said that the teacher was "promptly" removed from the classroom and the Inspector General and Philadelphia police were notified of the allegations. "We are aware of the situation and once it was brought to our attention, we acted immediately. The teacher was promptly removed from the school and both the Inspector General and Philadelphia Police have been notified. The School District of Philadelphia is fully cooperating with the investigation." Richardson refused to comment on the claims until everything is cleared with the teachers union. Tech Support Pits From: Carole Re: Attachments Dear webby: Does the Humor Letter ever have attachments? Do you have a virus or spyware? Carole Dear Carole No, the Humor Letter never has attachments, never did and never will. It is not sent from a Windows computer, but from a big server running Linux. Windows viruses and spyware don't work on Linux any more than a bicycle works on the ocean. If you saw an attachment with the Humor Letter, then either your computer or the computer of your ISP is infected, or else you got your mail program misconfigured so that it shows mail with embedded pictures as if they were attachments. Have FUN DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. A man makes a suggestion to his wife, "Honey, what do you say that tonight we change positions?" His wife responds with, "yes, I would really like that. Tonight, you do the dishes and the n stand by the ironing board for a couple of hours, and I'll lay on the couch and fart." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
A Swedish couple in Minnasohda are applying for a marriage license. The clerk asks the man his name and he replies, Yan Yohansenn. The clerk asks the woman what her name is. She replies Yolanda Yohansenn. The clerk asks, "Oh, any relation"? The woman blushes and says, Yust vunce, ve couldn't vait. ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Inspect Your Gutters Spring is a good time of year to check your gutters. Nail any droopy gutters back to the fascia. The next time you get a good rain, make sure the gutters are draining correctly and that water is being chanelled 3 to 4 feet from your house. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ | May's desert wild flowers in AZ. |
___________________________________________________ A guy is sitting in a bar, absolutely drooling at a pretty young thing in her short, pink mini-dress. Using the time honored ice breaker, he sends her a drink. "How lucky am I," he thinks, as she gets up to come sit next to him. They strike up a wonderful conversation. Finally the girl turns to him and says, "Look, you seem like a really nice guy, so I have to tell you that I'm a working girl. I get two hundred dollars for what you think you'll ply out of me with liquor." He replies, "I have no problem with the money but, since you were so straightforward I must tell you that when I come, I go nuts. I bite, scratch, kick, punch, pull hair, break furniture, and just plain destroy the place." "Oh my God! How long does that last?" she asked. "Just until I get my two hundred bucks back," he replied. ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A minister, a priest and a rabbi were discussing when life begins. "Those of my faith," said the minister, "believe that life starts when the heart begins to beat." "We take a different view," said the priest. "We believe life starts at the moment of conception." "Well," said the rabbi, "it is our belief that life starts when the kids move out and the dog dies." ____________________________________________________ | Today, June 11 in 1346 Charles IV of Luxembourg was elected Holy Roman Emperor in Germany. 1509 King Henry VIII married his first of six wives, Catherine of Aragon. 1770 Captain James Cook discovered the Great Barrier Reef off of Australia when he ran aground. 1776 In America, the Continental Congress formed a committee to draft a Declaration of Independence from Britain. 1798 Napoleon Bonaparte took the island of Malta. 1895 Charles E. Duryea received the first U.S. patent granted to an American inventor for a gasoline-driven automobile. 1912 Silas Christoferson became the first pilot to take off from the roof of a hotel. 1915 British troops took Cameroon in Africa. 1927 Charles A. Lindberg was presented the first Distinguished Flying Cross. 1930 William Beebe dove to a record-setting depth of 1,426 feet off the coast of Bermuda. He used a diving chamber called a bathysphere. 1934 The Disarmament Conference in Geneva ended in failure. 1937 Soviet leader Josef Stalin began a purge of Red Army generals. 1940 The Italian Air Force bombed the British fortress at Malta in the Mediterranean. 1942 The U.S. and the Soviet Union signed a lend lease agreement to aid the Soviets in their effort in World War II. 1943 During World War II, the Italian island of Pantelleria surrendered after a heavy air bombardment. 1947 The U.S. government announced an end to sugar rationing. 1963 Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was arrested in Florida for trying to integrate restaurants. 1963 Alabama Gov. George Wallace allowed two black students to enroll at the University of Alabama. 1967 Israel and Syria accepted a U.N. cease-fire. 1973 After a ruling by the Justice Department of the State of Pennsylvania, women were licensed to box or wrestle. 1977 In the Netherlands, a 19-day hostage situation came to an end when Dutch marines stormed a train and a school being held by South Moluccan extremist. Two hostages and the six terrorists were killed. 1987 Margaret Thatcher became the first British prime minister in 160 years to win a third consecutive term of office. 1990 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down a law that would prohibit the desecration of the American Flag. 1991 Mount Pinatubo in the Philippines erupted. The eruption of ash and gas could be seen for more than 60 miles. 1993 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that people who commit "hate crimes" could be sentenced to extra punishment. The court also ruled in favor of religious groups saying that they indeed had a constitutional right to sacrifice animals during worship services. 1993 Steven Spielberg's movie "Jurassic Park" opened. 1998 Mitsubishi of America agreed to pay $34 million to end the largest sexual harassment case filed by the U.S. government. The federal lawsuit claimed that hundreds of women at a plant in Normal, IL, had endured groping and crude jokes from male workers. 1998 Pakistan announced moratorium on nuclear testing and offered to talk with India over disputed Kashmir. 2010 The FIFA World Cup opened in South Africa. It was the first time it was held in Africa. 2018 Do smiled. |
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