Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, July 14 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ No Shih Tzu! Boca Raton woman charged with burglary and stealing puppy ___________________________________________________ Today, July 14 in 1914 Robert H. Goddard patented liquid rocket-fuel. ____________________________________________________ You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic. --- Doris Egan ____________________________________________________ All of Broomtown was a buzz because boy-broom and girl-broom were going to get married. Everyone felt certain that the bride-broom and the groom-broom would make a lovely couple. The night before the wedding, however, bride-broom told groom-broom that she was going to have a little wisk- broom. "But, how can that be?" wailed groom-broom, "We haven't even swept together yet!" ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ One day a group of scientists got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. So they picked one scientist to go and tell Him that they were done with Him. The scientist walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We're to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don't you just go on and get lost." God listened very patiently and kindly to the man. After the scientist was done talking, God said, "Very well, how about this? Let's say we have a man-making contest." To which the scientist replied, "Okay, great!" But God added, "Now, we're going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam." The scientist said, "Sure, no problem" and bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt. God looked at him and said, "Nah, you got to make your own dirt!" ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Temple Inman, 57, Boca Raton, Florida, USA No Shih Tzu! Boca Raton woman charged with burglary and stealing puppy A stolen puppy has been reunited with its owner. The Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office says the black Shih Tzu was stolen when someone broke into a person's apartment in Boca Raton on June 21. Temple Inman, 57, was identified as the suspect. Inman's son returned the puppy to its owner on Monday, July 12, according to the sheriff's office. Inman and the victim are neighbors in the same complex. DearWebby's tech support pits from: Sam Re: Aurora Forecast Dear Webby You mentioned a prediction service for Northern Lights, but I lost that issue. Unfortunately. Can you please tell us again? Thanks Sam Dear Sam Try Aurora Forecast Northern area Southern Forecast Tonight is not a good night for auroras, but lots of planets are visible as it gets dark. Have FUN! DearWebby The man approached a very beautiful woman in a very large supermarket and asked, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why?" she asks. "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Wife...lets go out and have fun tonight. Husband.....okay! but if you get home before I do, leave the hall light on. ____________________________________________ A minister was asked to inform a man with a heart condition that he had just inherited a million dollars. Everyone was afraid the shock would give him a heart attack. So the minister went to the man's house and said, "Joe, what would you do if you inherited a million dollars?" And Joe said, "Well, pastor, I think I would give half of it to the church." At which the pastor fell over dead. ____________________________________________ There was a very wealthy 70 year-old man who had just married a beautiful 25-year-old young lady. One of his long time friends said to him, "How did you get that gorgeous woman to marry a 70 year-old guy like you?" The man leaned over and whispered to his friend, "It was easy. I simply told her that I was 90 and had heart problems, and she instantly fell in love with me." --------- hmmm... I am 72, but not wealthy. What should i tell them? ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, July 14, in 1223 In France, Louis VIII succeeded his father, Philip Augustus. 1430 Joan of Arc, taken prisoner by the Burgundians in May, was handed over to Pierre Cauchon, the bishop of Beauvais. 1456 Hungarians defeated the Ottomans at the Battle of Belgrade. 1536 France and Portugal signed the naval treaty of Lyons, which aligned them against Spain. 1789 French Revolution began whe Parisians stormed the Bastille prison and released the seven prisoners inside. 1798 The U.S. Congress passed the Sedition Act. The act made it a federal crime to write, publish, or utter false or malicious statements about the U.S. government. 1868 Alvin J. Fellows patented the tape measure. 1891 The primacy of Thomas Edison's lamp patents was upheld in the court decision Electric Light Company vs. U.S. Electric Lighting Company. 1900 European Allies retook Tientsin, China, from the rebelling Boxers. 1908 "The Adventures of Dolly" opened at the Union Square Theatre in New York City. 1911 Harry N. Atwood landed an airplane on the lawn of the White House to accept an award from U.S. President William Taft. 1914 Robert H. Goddard patented liquid rocket-fuel. 1933 All German political parties except the Nazi Party were outlawed. 1940 A force of German Ju-88 bombers attacked Suez, Egypt, from bases in Crete. 1941 Vichy French Foreign Legionaries signed an armistice in Damascus, which allowed them to join the Free French Foreign Legion. 1945 American battleships and cruisers bombarded the Japanese home islands for the first time. 1946 Dr. Benjamin Spocks "The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care" was first published. 1951 The first sports event to be shown in color, on CBS-TV, was the Molly Pitcher Handicap at Oceanport, NJ. 1951 The George Washington Carver National Monument in Joplin, MO, became the first national park to honor an African American. 1958 The army of Iraq overthrew the monarchy. 1965 The American space probe Mariner 4 flew by Mars, and sent back photographs of the planet. 1998 Los Angeles sued 15 tobacco companies for $2.5 billion over the dangers of secondhand smoke. 2001 Beijing was awarded the 2008 Olympics. It was the first time that China had been awarded the games. 2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 10 million applications downloaded. 2008 In Japan, construction began on the Tokyo Skytree tower. 2009 The iTunes Music Store reached 1.5 billion applications downloaded. 2015 NASA's New Horizons spacecraft became the first space mission to explore Pluto. 2021 Do smiled. |
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