Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, March 26 Today in March 26 in 1885, Eastman Kodak (Eastman Dry Plate and Film Co.) produced the first commercial motion picture film in Rochester, NY. ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award 4 Teens Charged with Murder After Carjacking of Elderly Woman kills her, had previous adult court case dropped ___________________________________________________ Whenever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship. --- Harry S Truman (1884 - 1972) ___________________________________________________ The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?" ____________________________________________________ A cute young secretary wore tight knit dresses that showed off her figure, especially when she walked. And she enjoyed showing off. One afternoon her boss motioned her into his office and closed the door. Pointing to her tightly covered derriere, he asked, "Is that for sale?" "Of course not!" she snapped angrily, blushing furiously. Unchanged, he replied quietly, "Then, I suggest you might want to tone down the advertising during working hours." ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ At a small parish in rural New England there lived a priest, and several nuns. One day, one of the older nuns was noticing that the rugs in the church were beginning to fray. She went to the priest and told him, "Father, I believe your rugs need to be replaced soon." The priest thanked her for bringing it to his attention, and told her that he thought that she had been there long enough to refer to church property as "our" not "your." Several days later, the same nun noticed that the hedge needed to be trimmed. She again went to the priest and told him, "Father, I've noticed that your...(-and after a stern look from the priest-) I mean OUR hedge needs to be trimmed." The priest thanked her for again bringing something to his attention and this time asked her if she had seen his watch that had gone missing. She said she hadn't, but assured him she would look for it. Another few days passed, and the parish received word that the bishop would be coming for a visit. The whole parish was in an uproar of cleaning, and decorating. On the day the bishop arrived, while the priest was greeting the bishop in front of the church, the same nun came running and bouncing down the front stairs yelling, "Father, Father, I found your watch!!" The priest, annoyed at the interruption, gave her another one of his "stern looks". "Why yes, Father, Sorry. I found it under OUR bed." ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ An anthropologist was assigned to Borneo, where he found a guide with a canoe to take him up the river to the remote site he where he would make his collections. At noon on the second day of travel up the river they began to hear drums. "What are those drums?" asked the anthropologist, knowing he was in cannibal country. The guide turned to him and said "No worry. Drums OK, but very bad when they stop." They both went ghostly pale when the drums suddenly stopped. The guide crouched in the belly of the canoe and covered his ears. "Do as I do! Very important!" hissed the guide with great urgency. "Why? What does this mean?" asked the panicked anthropologist. In a terrified whisper the native replied: "Drums stop! Next come violin solo!" ____________________________________________________ Having lost weight over the past few years, a lady was discarding things from her wardrobe that no longer fit. Her seven-year-old niece was watching as she held up a huge pair of slacks. "Wow," the lady said, "I must have worn these when I was 185." Her niece looked puzzled, then asked, "How old are you now?" ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by John Honore, 17, New Orleans, Louisiana, USA 4 Teens Charged with Murder After Carjacking of Elderly Woman kills her, had previous adult court case dropped John Honore, the 17-year-old accused of murder in Mondays carjacking and dragging death of Linda Frickey, had a previous violent crime allegation charged in adult Criminal District Court that was dropped last year by District Attorney Jason Williams office, court records show. Honore and two co-defendants who are not accused in Frickeys death were charged as adults for another alleged carjacking nearly two years ago when he was 15. Former District Attorney Leon Cannizzaros office charged Honore in that case in June 2020, along with co-defendants Aaliyah Thompson (then 17) and Miguel Leon Jr. (then 17). Williams was sworn in as the Orleans Parish DA in January 2021, and court records show his office dropped the prosecution against all three defendants two months later, on March 10, 2021. The court record shows Honore was ordered to home confinement, and later incarcerated at the Orleans Juvenile Justice Center, while awaiting prosecution. He was ordered freed from confinement after Williams office told the court it was dropping the case. Williams office told Fox 8 the victim in the 2020 case was related to one of the defendants, and that the prosecution was dropped at the request of family members. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Ted RE: Dictionary Dear Webby, Where do I find a decent dictionary, that does not cost an arm and a leg? Ted Dear Ted I have used AsyouType for about 25 years. Seems to work quite well. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! __________________________________________ For months he had been her devoted admirer. Now, at long last, he had collected up sufficient courage to ask her the most momentous of all questions. "There are quite a lot of advantages to being a bachelor," he began, "but there comes a time when one longs for the companionship of another being...a being who will regard one as perfect, as an idol; who will be kind and faithful when times are hard; who will share one's joys and sorrows..." To his delight he saw a sympathetic gleam in her eyes as she nodded in agreement. She replied,"Yes, I agree, I think it would be a great idea! That would make a huge difference to your life and is just what you need. Sure, I'll gladly help you find a nice puppydog or a frog for you." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!" My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't clean up your act, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" My mother taught me about JUSTICE - "One day you will have kids, and I KNOW they will turn out just like YOU.. THEN you'll see what it's like." ______________________________________________ "It's no good, sir," said the hopeless pupil to his English teacher. "I try to learn, but everything you say goes in both ears and out the other." "Goes in both ears and out the other?" asked the puzzled teacher. "But you only have two ears, boy." "Guess I'm no good at math, either!" ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Mary and Jane are old friends. They have both been married to their husbands for a long time; Mary is upset because she thinks her husband doesn't find her attractive anymore. "As I get older he doesn't bother to look at me!" Mary cries. "I'm so sorry for you, as I get older my husband says I get more beautiful every day." replies Jane. "Yes, but YOUR husband's an antique dealer!" ___________________________________________________ | Today, March 26, in 1026, Conrad II was crowned Holy Roman Emperor by Pope John XIX. 1799, Napoleon captured Jaffa Palestine. 1780, The British Gazette and Sunday Monitor was published for the first time. It was the first Sunday newspaper in Britain. 1793, The Holy Roman Emperor formally declared war on France. 1804, The U.S. Congress ordered the removal of Indians east of the Mississippi to Louisiana. 1804, The Louisiana Purchase was divided into the District of Louisiana and the Territory of Orleans. 1854, Charles III, duke of Parma, was attacked by an assassin. He died the next day. 1871, The Paris Commune was formally set up. 1878, Hastings College of Law was founded. 1885, Eastman Kodak (Eastman Dry Plate and Film Co.) produced the first commercial motion picture film in Rochester, NY. 1898, In South Africa, the world's first game reserve, the Sabi Game reserve, was designated. 1909, Russian troops invaded Persia to support Muhammad Ali as shah in place of the constitutional government. 1910, The U.S. Congress passed an amendment to the 1907 Immigration Act that barred criminals, paupers, anarchists and carriers of disease from settling in the U.S. 1913, During the Balkan War, the Bulgarians took Adrianople. 1917, At the start of the battle of Gaza, the British cavalry withdrew when 17,000 Turks blocked their advance. 1937, Spinach growers in Crystal City, TX, erected a statue of Popeye. 1938, Herman Goering warned all Jews to leave Austria. 1942, The Germans began sending Jews to Auschwitz in Poland. 1945, The battle of Iwo Jima ended. 1945, In the Aleutians, the battle of Komandorski began when the Japanese attempted to reinforce a garrison at Kiska and were intercepted by a U.S. naval force. 1951, The U.S. Air Force flag was approved. The flag included the coat of arms, 13 white stars and the Air Force seal on a blue background. 1953, Dr. Jonas Salk announced a new vaccine that would prevent poliomyelitis. 1956, Red Buttons made his debut as a television actor in "Studio One" on CBS television. 1958, The U.S. Army launched America's third successful satellite, Explorer III. 1962, The U.S. Supreme Court supported the 1-man-1-vote apportionment of seats in the State Legislature. 1969, The TV movie "Marcus Welby" was seen on ABC-TV. It was later turned into a series. 1971, Sheikh Mujibur Rahman declared East Pakistan to be the independent republic of Bangladesh. 1971, "Cannon" premiered on CBS-TV as a movie. It was turned into a series later in the year. 1973, Egyptian President Anwar Sadat took over the premiership and said "the stage of total confrontation (with Israel) has become inevitable." 1973, Women were allowed on the floor of the London Stock Exchange for the first time. 1979, The Camp David treaty was signed by Israel and Egypt that ended the 31-year state of war between the countries. 1982, Ground breaking ceremonies were held in Washington, DC, for the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. 1983, The U.S. performed a nuclear test at the Nevada Test Site. 1989, The first free elections took place in the Soviet Union. Boris Yeltsin was elected. 1991, The presidents of Argentina, Paraguay, Brazil and Uruguay signed an agreement that established the Southern Cone Common Market, a free-trade zone, by January 1, 1995. 1992, In Indianapolis, heavyweight boxing champion Mike Tyson was found guilty of rape. He was sentenced to 6 years in prison. He only served three. 1995, Seven of the 15 European Union states abolished border controls. 1996, The International Monetary Fund approved a $10.2 billion loan for Russia to help the country transform its economy. 1997, The 39 bodies of Heaven's Gate members are found in a mansion in Rancho Santa Fe, CA. The group had committed suicide thinking that they would be picked up by a spaceship following behind the comet Hale-Bopp. 1998, In the U.S., the Federal government endorses new HIV test that yields instant results. 1998, Unisys Corp. and Lockheed Martin Corp. pay a $3.15 million fine for selling spare parts at inflated prices to the U.S. federal government. 1999, The macro virus "Melissa" was reported for the first. 1999, In Michigan, Dr. Jack Kevorkian was convicted of second-degree murder for giving a terminally ill man a lethal injection and putting it all on videotape on September 17, 1998 for "60 Minutes." 2000, The Seattle Kingdome was imploded to make room for a new football arena. 2000, In Russia, acting President Vladimir Putin was elected president outright. He won a sufficient number of votes to avoid a runoff election. 2007, The design for the "Forever Stamp" was unveiled by the U.S. Postal Service. 2022 Do smiled. |
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