Humor: AVG problem

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 Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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Good Morning, Do,
Today is Friday, September 15
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Have Fun!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Porsche Driver Shot Homeless Man in Nashville,
who had asked her to move her car.
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, Sept 15 in
1984 The Bausell Sailor's pot of gold was born
Happy Birthday!
1821 Costa Rica, Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua and
El Salvador proclaimed independence.
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
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please donate what you can!


______________________________________________________
I write down everything I want to remember. That way,
instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what
it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper
I wrote it down on.
--- Beryl Pfizer
We need not to be let alone. We need to be really bothered
once in a while. How long is it since you were really
bothered? About something important, about something real?
--- Ray Bradbury (1920 )
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby so
he went before the congregation and asked for a raise.
After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the
preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck.
After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the
Congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss
the preacher's salary.
There was much yelling and bickering about how much the
clergyman's additional children were costing the church.
Finally, the Preacher got up and spoke to the crowd,
"Children are a gift from God," he said.
Silence fell on the congregation. In the back pew, a little
old lady stood up and in her frail voice said,
"Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much
of it, we wear rubbers."
And the congregation said, "Amen."
_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________
Little Johnny's teacher sent a note home to his Mother
saying, "Johnny seems to be a very bright boy, but spends
too much of his time thinking about sex and girls."
The Mother wrote back the next day, "If you find a
solution, please advise. I have the same problem
with his Father."
______________________________________________________


Ocean City, Maryland. Photographer unknown.
Picture sent in by the Bausell Sailor
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
Reported by the Bausell Sailor
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by
Katie Quackenbush,
26,
Nashville,
Tennessee
Porsche Driver Shot Homeless Man in Nashville,
who had asked her to move her car.
A wanna-be country singer from Texas has been charged with
the attempted murder of a homeless Tennessee man who asked
her to move her Porsche. Police say 26-year-old Katie
Quackenbush shot Gerald Melton, 54, after he complained
about loud music and exhaust fumes from the Porsche SUV
where she was sitting with a friend while he was trying to
sleep on a sidewalk near Nashville's Music Row around 3am on
Aug. 26, the AP reports. Police say that after a loud
argument, Quackenbush got out of her vehicle with a gun and
shot Melton twice in the abdomen before leaving the scene
hurriedly without calling authorities. Melton is still in a
Nashville hospital with critical injuries.
Quackenbush's father, an attorney in Amarillo, of course
gives a totally different version of events. Jesse
Quackenbush says after Melton screamed threats in the
vehicle's window and walked away, his daughter grabbed her
gun to escort her friend back to her vehicle. He says when
Melton walked toward her again, she closed her eyes and
fired two "warning shots" before leaving, unaware she had
injured the man. "She didn't try and kill this guy," he
says. "She had no intention of killing him. She didn't know
that she hit him." WSMV reports that Quackenbush, who was
released on $25,000 bond after being charged Monday night,
was arrested for assault in Texas in 2013 and again in
December last year. She was dark haired at that time.
Quackenbush has a 5 year old son.
Quackenbush has posted a screechy "song" on YouTube in 2015,
but is not known for having actually sold any music.
_________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Linda
Re: AVG warning
Dear Webby,
Yesterday's advice about free AVG has to be taken with a big
grain of salt! It too is a Broom Hilda!
Unless it is the one and only anti virus program on the
machine, it whines and accuses all others of being malware
and even sabotages them!
AVG Free can only be used, if it is the ONLY anti-virus
program on the machine.
Linda
Dear Linda
Yes, you are right.
Only use AVG if you can not afford any of the anti malware
programs, that are good enough to sell for actual money.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
The teacher told the kids to draw a grassy meadow and a
cow eating the grass.
By the end of the hour, all the kids had some more or less
artistic rendering of that topic, except for Do.
Do had a blank page.
So the teacher asked, "Where is your grass?"
Do answered: "The cow ate it all."
Then the teacher asked: "Where is the cow?"
Do answered: "When there was no grass left,
the cow walked away.
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Longer Lasting Paint Brushes
When you buy a new paint brush, soak it in linseed oil for
12 hours before using it for the first time. This will
extend the life of the paint brush and make it easier
to clean.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________


Highly Illogical
____________________________________________________
Thanks to Ann for this story:
My father is a skilled CPA who is not great at self-
promotion.
So when an advertising company offered to put my father's
business placard in the shopping carts of a supermarket, my
dad jumped at the chance.
Fully a year went by before we got a call that could be
traced to those placards.
"Richard Larson, CPA?" the caller asked.
"That's right," my father answered. "May I help you?"
"Yes," the voice said. "One of your shopping carts is in my
yard, and I want you to come and get it."
__________________________________________________
Slip N Slide BASE Jumping (gulp!)
___________________________________________________
Moishe is being interrogated by the Russian Government:
Govt. official: "If you had a yacht, what would you do with
it?"
Moishe: "Give it to Mother Russia."
Govt. Official: "And if you had a palace, what would you
do with it?"
Moishe: "Give it to Mother Russia."
Govt. Official: "And if you had a chicken, what would you
do with it?"
No reply.
Government official asks the question again.
And still no reply.
Finally he shouts: "Moishe, why don't you reply?"
Moishe: "Because I have a chicken."
Ophelia Dingbatter's
News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes
and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you
subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________
From Nora
Thanks for the jokes!!! I love to laugh!!! Everything is
better after you have a good laugh!!! You gotta find the
humor in everything or life will suck the fun out of
everything!!!
Nora
___________________________________________
Today, Sept 15, in
1776 British forces occupied New York City during the
American Revolution.
1821 Costa Rica, Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua and El
Salvador proclaimed independence.
1853 Reverend Antoinette Brown Blackwell was ordained
becoming first female minister in the United States.
1857 Timothy Alder earned a patent for the typesetting
machine.
1858 The first mail service begins to the Pacific Coast of
the U.S. under government contract. Coaches from the
Butterfield Overland Mail Company took 12 days to make the
journey between Tipton, MO and San Francisco, CA.
1909 Charles F. Kettering applied for a patent on his
ignition system. His company Delco (Dayton Engineering
Laboratories Company) later became a subsidiary of General
Motors.
1916 During the Battle of the Somme, in France, tanks were
first used in warfare when the British rolled them onto the
battlefields.
1917 Alexander Kerensky proclaimed Russia to be a republic.
1923 Oklahoma was placed under martial law by Gov. John
Calloway Walton due to terrorist activity by the Ku Klux
Klan. After this declaration national newspapers began to
expose the Klan and its criminal activities.
1928 Alexander Fleming discovered the antibiotic penicillin
in the mold Penicillium notatum.
1935 The Nuremberg Laws were enacted by Nazi Germany. The
act stripped all German Jews of their civil rights and the
swastika was made the official symbol of Nazi Germany.
1940 The German Luftwaffe suffered the loss of 185 planes in
the Battle of Britain. The change in tide forced Hitler to
abandon his plans for invading Britain.
1949 "The Lone Ranger" premiered on ABC. Clayton Moore was
the Lone Ranger and Jay Silverheels was Tonto.
1950 U.N. forces landed at Inchon, Korea in an attempt to
relieve South Korean forces and recapture Seoul.
1953 The National Boxing Association adopted the 10-point
scoring system for all of its matches.
1955 Betty Robbins became the first woman cantor.
1959 Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev arrived in the U.S. to
begin a 13-day visit.
1961 The U.S. resumed underground testing of nuclear
weapons.
1965 "Lost in Space" premiered on CBS TV.
1965 "Green Acres" premiered on CBS TV.
1971 Greenpeace was founded.
1978 Muhammad Ali defeated Leon Spinks to win his 3rd World
Heavyweight Boxing title.
1983 The U.S. Senate joined the U.S. House of
Representatives in their condemning of the Soviet Union for
shooting down a Korean jet with 269 people onboard.
1990 France announced that it would send an additional 4,000
soldiers to the Persian Gulf. They also expelled Iraqi
military attaches in Paris.
1993 The FBI announced a new national campaign concerning
the crime of carjacking.
1994 U.S. President Clinton told Haiti's military leaders
"Your time is up. Leave now or we will force you from
power."
1995 The U.N. Fourth World Conference on Women was held in
Beijing.
1997 The domain name "google.com" was registered.
1998 Ayatollah Ali Khamenei ordered the Iranian military to
be on full alert and massed troops on its border with
Afghanistan.
1998 It was announced that 5.9 million people read The Starr
Report on the Internet. 606,000 people read the White House
defense of U.S. President Clinton.
1999 The United Nations approved the deployment of a
multinational peacekeeping force in East Timor.
2003 In Independence, MO, the birthplace of Ginger Rogers
was designated a local landmark. The move by the
Independence City Council qualified the home for historic
preservation.
2012 Legoland Malaysia opened in Nusajaya, Johor, Malaysia.
2017 Do smiled.
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Well,
Do
, that's all for today.
Have FUN !
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