Good Morning, Do, Today is Sunday, December 25 Rudolphians, you have ONE day of saving money till Boxing Day! Get your knee and elbow pads ready! Christians, today is Christmas Day! Merry Christmas! Jews: Hanukkah it stil is. There is still food! Thank you, Jim!! Thank you, Joseph! Thank you, Paul! Have FUN! DearWebby Todays Bonehead Award: Crooks in fatal Homestead bank shootout were brothers Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 25 in  1818 "Silent Night" was performed for the first time, at the Church of St. Nikolaus in Oberndorff, Austria.  See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ 
 If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
 
  
 ______________________________________________________ Any woman who thinks the way to a man's heart is through his stomach is aiming about 10 inches too high. --- Adrienne E. Gusoff We are all apt to believe what the world believes about us. --- George Eliot (1819 - 1880) "Here's a holiday shopping tip. Here's what I do and it works pretty good. When you're buying your Christmas tree, be sure to bring along a pair of scissors, so when you find the perfect tree, you can just cut that little tag off that says "sold". ---Jay Leno ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ A small, uncertain, and nervous witness was being cross-examined. The lawyer thundered, "Have you ever been married ?" "Yes, sir, once" said the witness in a low voice. "Whom did you marry?" "Well, a woman." The lawyer said angrily, "Of course you married a woman! Did you ever hear of anyone marrying a man ?" The witness said meekly, "MY mother did." ______________________________________________________ When Paul picked up his Ford Escort at the service station after some minor service, he paid $75 by check as usual. A couple of weeks later, he came home from work to find his wife quite upset. She gave him the silent treatment until he figured out why she was so angry. She had noticed the canceled check and, on the memo line he had written "Escort Service." ______________________________________________________ John was tasked with bringing the Christmas decorations up from the basement and start decorating the house and tree. During one trek up the stairs, heavily laden with boxes, he slipped fell all the way down to the bottom in a great big messy pile. Jill heard the noise and yelled, "What was that thump?" "I just fell down the stairs," he explained. "Anything broken?" asked Jill "No," John groaned, "I'm fine." There was just a slight pause before he heard Jill say, "No, I meant my decorations! Is anything important broken?" ------------- I remember a wife like her. ______________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ 
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:  Thanks for your votes!
 ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a DARWIN AWARD has been earned by  Edgar Fonseca Morales Giobel Fonseca Canete Homestead, Floriduh  Crooks in fatal Homestead bank shootout were brothers  The suspects involved in a robbery attempt that turned into a fatal shootout outside a Homestead bank have been identified as two brothers. Edgar Fonseca Morales was killed in Tuesday's shootout at the TD Bank at 2495 Northeast 8th Street, while his brother, Giobel Fonseca Canete, was wounded and is now facing charges, according to a criminal complaint. The complaint said the brothers were sitting in an SUV when a GardaWorld armored truck, carrying a driver and a messenger, arrived just before 4 p.m. to deliver cash. Morales, who was armed with a shotgun, and Canete, who was armed with a handgun, got out of their SUV and confronted the messenger when the shootout ensued, the complaint said. Morales was shot in the chest and the head and was pronounced dead at the scene. Canete was shot in the thigh and fled the scene in the SUV, but was caught a short time later on the Florida Turnpike, the complaint said. The complaint said a witness followed the SUV after the shootout and was able to help police track it down. The messenger was shot in the hip area and was taken to a nearby hospital. Exclusive footage obtained by NBC 6 showed the messenger writhing in pain on the ground in the aftermath of the shootout. Canete was also hospitalized and later told authorities that they attempted the robbery with the help of an employee of the armored truck company, the complaint said. Canete is facing charges in the bank robbery and for using a firearm during a crime.  ______________________________________________________  Tech Support Pits From: Sabina Re: Back-up program Dear Webby, That Backup from Microslop is totally useless. What the heck were their Taliban programmers smoking? Windoze backup wants to back up onto the same hard drive! Bad dope! And they whine against removable drives. Worse dope! What do you recommend?  Dear Sabina  PC-Magazine has a really good comparison article. Keep in mind, their reporters have never in their life paid for any software or hardware. They just compare free courtesy samples. That gives you an evaluatin based strictly on performance. Take your pick there. It is a surprisingly good article. They missed one really good one: Laplink. I actually got that, but unfortunately not installed. Been too busy, and was going to do it some day soon. Yes, go ahead, kick me! And again! With Laplink you can "Move" onto a new machine, or "move" onto a DVD. When your hard drive gets sabotaged by a Windoze update, you just format it and "move" back onto it. Btw, when I was at Staples getting a 64 GB camera chip for under $20 for backing some stuff onto, the tech there told me that every month they see about 10 machines, that have been sabotaged by Windoze Updates. For a small town like this, that is an awful lot. Your turn is coming! Don't try using camera chips for your entire mail folder, if you have 20 years worth of mail, that has never been weeded out! The Windoze file system can't handle that. However, they are fast for smaller stuff like your spreadsheets or docs or address files. Those go fast and easy onto camera chips. For larger folders, or the entire machine, get yourself a USB connected external drive. You can usually find 1 TeraByte drives, with case, for under $100. Isn't your data worth that much? Have FUN! DearWebby    An elderly gentleman checked into a New York hotel. The clerk mentioned the phone service the establishment made available for calling guests who wished to rise at an early hour. "No need for that, young man," snapped the old timer. "I always wake up at five A.M. sharp - without an alarm clock." "Very good, sir," the clerk replied, then asked, "Would you mind calling me at six?" 
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
 
  
 Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Less Fabric Softener When using fabric softener in the wash, I use a fraction of the amount suggested on the packaging and add water to make up the difference. The wash comes out just as soft and nicely scented. By Kelly  
  
Santa's bridge 
 ____________________________________________________ A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, one of the largest department store chains. He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife." "What type of bra?" asked the clerk. "Type?" inquires the man. "There is more than one type?" "Look Around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras," replied the salesclerk. Confused, the man asked what were the types. The saleslady replied, "The Catholic type, the Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?" Still confused the man asked "What is the difference between them?" The lady responded, "It is all really simple." The Catholic type supports the masses, The Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills." ____________________________________________________  
  
 
The Christmas story told by kids. MERRY CHRISTMAS to all! 
 Q: What's the difference between a snowblower and a bagpipe? A: Snowblowers can be tuned. 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's News
 No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ____________________________________________________ 
 Today on December 25 0800 Charlemagne was crowned first Holy Roman Emperor in Rome by Pope Leo III. 1066 William the Conqueror was crowned king of England. 1223 St. Francis of Assisi assembled one of the first Nativity scenes, in Greccio, Italy. 1776 Gen. George Washington and his troops crossed the Delaware River for a surprise attack against Hessian forces at Trenton, NJ. 1818 "Silent Night" was performed for the first time, at the Church of St. Nikolaus in Oberndorff, Austria. 1868 U.S. President Andrew Johnson granted an unconditional pardon to all persons involved in the Southern rebellion that resulted in the Civil War. 1896 John Philip Sousa finally titled the melody "The Stars and Stripes Forever." 1914 During World War I, British and German troops observed an unofficial truce and even playing football together on the Western Front. 1926 Hirohito became the emperor of Japan after the death of his father Emperor Taisho. 1930 The Mt. Van Hoevenberg bobsled run at Lake Placid, New York opened to the public. It was the first bobsled track of international specifications to open in the U.S. 1939 "A Christmas Carol," by Charles Dickens, was read on CBS radio for the first time. 1941 Hong Kong surrendered to the Japanese. 1946 W.C. Fields died at the age of 66. 1962 The Department of Commerce Census Clock in Washington, DC, recorded the U.S. population on this day as 188,000,000. 1972 The Nicaraguan capital Managua was hit by an earthquake. Over 10,000 people were killed. 1979 The USSR invaded Afghanistan in a bid to halt civil war and protect USSR interests. 1989 Ousted Romanian President Nicolae Ceausescu and his wife, Elena, were executed following a popular uprising. 1989 Dissident playwright Vaclav Havel was elected president of Czechoslovakia. 1991 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev went on television to announce his resignation as leader of a Communist superpower that had already gone out of existence. 2000 Over 300 people were killed and dozens were injured by fire at a Christmas party in the Chinese city of Luoyang. The incident occurred at the Dongdu Disco. 2016 Do smiled.
 
 

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!

ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them
in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog