Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, August 13 Thank you, James !!! ____________________________________________________ History: today, August 13 in 1985, The engagement of Democrat Maria Shriver and Republican Arnold Schwarzenagger was announced. ___________________________________________________ Bonehead award Man guilty of brutal murder of grieving widow on Christmas Day ___________________________________________________ Q Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. --- Thomas Jones (1892 - 1969) What is written without effort is in general read without pleasure. --- Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784) ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. ___________________________________________________ he main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them. ___________________________________________________ Joe O'kennedy Red tailed hawk, scouting the field in Big Meadow, Bonnyville AB. __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Two not too very bright city guys decided to go into the dairy business. They drove up to a dairy farm and asked the owner if he had any cows for sale. The owner had been trying to get rid of a non performing bull for years told them he would let his best producing cow go for a mere one thousand dollars. The 2 guys said wonderful and loaded up the bull and left. They got back to their place and tried to milk the bull but didn't get any milk. So one of the guys ran back to the farmer to find out how to get the milk flowing. The farmer told them they had to make the cow drink plenty of water and then pump the tail up and down. Satisfied the city slicker went back and he and his partner pushed the bull down to the stream. Well, the bull wasn't very thirsty and didn't drink so one guy held the bulls head in the water and the other guy pumped igorously with the tail. About that time the bull decided to take advantage of the raised tail and to dump some solids. The guy pumping yelled to his friend "Raise her head she is sucking mud." -------- Well, he sure would not try to hold the head of one of the 2500 pound bulls they have around here. Those bulls flip truck over if they don't like it's color. ____________________________________________________ He, Luigi, you are a man of the world. "What is an operetta?" "That'sa da girl who works the switchboard at da teliphone company." ______________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it!Please, help me stay online! ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Here is an old classic: An old cowboy went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked him, "Are you a real cowboy?" He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life on the ranch, herding horses, mending fences, and branding cattle, so I guess I am." She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women." A little while later, a couple sat down next to the old cowboy and asked him, "Are you a real cowboy?" He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian." __________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits from: Yolanda Re: Best video conferencing Dear Webby Now there are over a dozen different video conferencing programs out, and of course, everybody, who has never tried more than one, argues, that theirs is the best, and is desperately tryiing to get everybody to jump onto THEIR band wagon. As you know, I have been using Skype for decades, but since Microsoft bought it for $8.5 Billion to prevent Google from byuing it, it has been dumbed down and most definitely not developed or improved. It is fine for video chatting gramma, but no good for video conferencing. So, which one is really the best one? Yolanda Dear Yolanda I agree, they all try to get you to join theirs. Microsoft's TEAM might have some good points, but $5 / month / user kills it. Knowing how Microsoft mummified Skype, does not help them either. Instead of boring you with a dozen biased reviews by editors, who have not tried more than one, th top choice is ZOOM. Home and small business seems to be free. I love using it with my diabetic nurse, even though she likes pulling up spreadsheets and point out where I had "sinned" last Wednesday. But that is how versatile it is. Have FUN! DearWebby ___________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it!Please, help me stay online! _____________________________________________ A wife sent her husband and their daughter to the health food store with a carefully prepared shopping list. They returned with brussel sprouts, organically grown tomatoes, wild rice, tofu, veggie burgers, celery stalks, .... and a box of chocolate cookies. The man noticed his wife's hostile glare when she pulled out the cookies. So he said, "Hey, this box of cookies has one-third less sugar AND fat than usual!" "Really? And just why is that?" she asked icily. "We ate a third of the cookies on the way home," he grinned. ________________________________________________ A Bonehead award has been reported by Rock Thomas Grant, 28, West Chadsmoor, Staffordshire, England Thomas Grant, 28, stabbed and strangled Lucy Clews in her own home after she offered him a place to stay for Christmas. A man who brutally killed a grieving widow at her home on Christmas Day and sold her wedding ring to fund a drug habit has been found guilty of murder. Lucy Clews, 39, from West Chadsmoor, Staffordshire, was found dead at her home on December 29 2021 having been stabbed and strangled, after her mother raised the alarm when she had not heard from her over the festive period, Staffordshire Police said. Thomas Grant, 28, of no fixed address, denied killing Miss Clews at her home after she offered him a place to stay, claiming someone else was responsible but refused to say who. However, on Tuesday, Grant was found guilty of murder by a jury following a five-week trial at Stafford Crown Court. The court heard how Grant met recently-widowed Lucy on Christmas Eve and she offered him a place to stay over Christmas as he had nowhere else to go. Police say Grant, a drug addict, then used Lucys home as a base, spending several days visiting people he knew to persuade them to give him money to fuel his habit. It was the prosecutions case that Grant stole and sold Miss Clewss jewellery including her wedding ring and a necklace belonging to her late husband in order to raise money for drugs, and also sold her mobile phone. He was then spotted on CCTV on Christmas Day having left the scene of the murder. When he was arrested in Hednesford on December 30 2021, Grant gave a false name to officers. Grants possessions were later found in Miss Clewss home and a knife which had both their DNA on it was located. Grant later made admissions to officers while in custody awaiting trial, though he later retracted these, claiming that officers had lied about what he had said. Following his conviction, Grant was remanded in custody ahead of sentencing at the same court on Thursday. Senior investigating officer, Detective Chief Inspector Cheryl Hannan, of the forces major and organised crime department, said: Lucy was a vulnerable, grieving widow, who invited Grant to stay with her over Christmas to have some company. Grant repaid that kindness by brutally killing her, stealing her phone and some of her most valued possessions her wedding ring and two necklaces, one of which belonged to her husband. Grant denied killing Lucy when interviewed but later admitted he had done so, when he got angry with officers while on remand. Im glad the jury saw through Grants persistent lies and found him guilty of murder. ___________________________________________________ Marcy walks into a drug store and asks the clerk if she can use the store's baby scale. "Sorry, ma'am," says the clerk. "Our baby scale is broken. But we can figure the baby's weight if we weigh mother and baby together on the adult scale, and then weigh the mother alone, and subtract the second number from the first." "Oh, that won't work," says Marcy. "Why not?" asks the clerk. "Because," she answers, "I'm not the mother - I'm the aunt." __________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the humor letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work, please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! __________________________________________________ History Today August 13, in 1521, Present day Mexico City was captured by Spanish conqueror Hernando Cortez from the Aztec Indians. 1704, The Battle of Blenheim was fought during the War of the Spanish Succession, resulting in a victory for English and Austrian forces. 1792, French revolutionaries took the entire French royal family and imprisoned them. 1784, The United States Legislature met for the final time in Annapolis, MD. 1846, The American Flag was raised for the first time in Los Angeles, CA. 1867, "Under the Gaslight", by Augustin Daly, opened in New York City, NY. 1876, The Reciprocity Treaty between the U.S. and Hawaii was ratified. 1889, A patent for a coin-operated telephone was issued to William Gray. 1912, The first experimental radio license was issued to St. Joseph's College in Philadelphia, PA. 1931, The first community hospital in the U.S. was dedicated in Elk City, OK. 1932, Adolf Hitler refused to take the post of vice- chancellor of Germany. He said he was going to hold out "for all or nothing." 1934, Al Capp's comic strip "L'il Abner" made its debut in newspapers. 1942, Henry Ford unveiled his "Soybean Car." It was a plastic-bodied car that weighed about 1000 lbs. less than a steel car. 1942, Walt Disney's "Bambi" opened at Radio City Music Hall in New York City, NY. 1959, In New York, ground was broken on the $320 million Verrazano Narrows Bridge. 1960, "Echo I," a balloon satellite, allowed the first two- way telephone conversation by satellite to take place. 1961, Berlin was divided by a barbed wire fence to halt the flight of refugees. Two days later work on the Berlin Wall began. 1985, The engagement of Democrat Maria Shriver and Republican Arnold Schwarzenagger was announced. 1990, Iraq transferred $3-4 billion in bullion, currency, and other goods seized from Kuwait to Baghdad. 1992, Woody Allen began legal action to win custody of his three children. A judge ruled against Allen in 1993. 1994, It was reported that aspirin not only helps reduce the risk of heart disease, but also helps prevent colon cancer. 2023, Do smiled.
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