Good Morning, Do! Today is Wedmesday, June 23 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Charges filed against Visalia mother accused of leaving 3-year-old in hot car ___________________________________________________ Today, June 23 in 1868 Christopher Latham Sholes received a patent for an invention that he called a "Type-Writer." ____________________________________________________ Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock. --- John Barrymore (1882 - 1942) ____________________________________________________ From High School Final Exams: 1. Chemistry: Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water. 2. Biology: The body consists of three parts- the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u. 3. Sex Ed: To prevent contraption: wear a condominium. 4. First Aid: For drowning, climb on top of the person and move up and down to make artificial perspiration. ____________________________________________________ Anuuk Magar Kagbeni village mustang, Nepal (2810m) ____________________________________________________ Al Capp, creator of the famous comic strip Lil Abner, was one day invited to a university to give a lecture to the students. Before he could begin speaking to the large group assembled in the auditorium, an unkempt-looking student at the back shouted a vulgar word at him. The word hung in the air as an uncomfortable silence lasted but a moment... Capp, keeping his cool, quipped, "Now that you've given us your name, what is your question?" ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Eustajia Mojica, Visalia, California, USA Charges filed against Visalia mother accused of leaving 3-year-old in hot car Charges were filed in the death of a three-year-old girl in Visalia. On Monday, the Tulare County District Attorney announced the charges against Eustajia Mojica. Mojica is accused of leaving her daughter Jessica Campos in a hot car for nearly three hours in triple-digit temperatures while she worked at an illegal marijuana grow at a Visalia home. Mojica was charged with involuntary manslaughter and child abuse with a special allegation of willful harm or injury resulting in death. She was arraigned Monday, and prosecutors say she was given no bail, meaning she cannot post bond. If convicted, Mojica faces ten years in state prison. Four other people in the house were also charged Monday with child endangerment and drug crimes. Dearwebby's Tech Support Pits from: Robert RE: Better games than football or basketball Dear Webby I am getting fed up with the brainless primadonnas in Football and BasketBall. What do you watch? Robert Dear Robert When I have time, I watch Hockey. VERY High Speed Mortal Combat. Just google for a site, that shows games in your area. Personally, I prefer NHL games, even though my two favorites have been knocked out for this season. You can try https://nhl66.ir/simulator 06/23 20:00 (ET) or google for your favorite teams. Some games are free, some are not. ALL hockey players no matter whether or not they have served in the military, stand for the anthem, and many of them sing. Have FUN! DearWebby One morning a man came into the church on crutches. He stopped in front of the holy water, splashed some on each leg, and then threw away his crutches. An alter boy witnessed the scene and then ran into the rectory to tell the priest what he'd just seen. "Son, you've just witnessed a miracle," the priest said. "Tell me where is this man now?" "Flat on his ass over by the holy water," said the boy. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ There was a power outage at some department stores in Los Angeles yesterday. Hundred and Twenty people were trapped on the escalators for four hours. The Government sent in relief troops with coffee and mobile phone chargers. ___________________________________________ Woman 1: Did you get a new haircut? Woman 2: Yes, I did. Thanks for noticing. W1: Oh! That's so cute! W2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure after my hairdresser gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking? W1: Oh no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think. W2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck. W1: Oh, that's funny! I would love to have your neck! W2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms, see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier. MEANWHILE.... Man 1: Got your ears lowered ? Man 2: Yeah, it's getting warmer outside. Man 1: Sure is. Guess it's time to tune up the lawn mower. Man 2: You get the beer, I'll bring the tools. ____________________________________________ While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there any gators around here?" "Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!" Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?" "We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "Really?" said the tourist. The beachcomber added, "The sharks got 'em." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, June 23, in 1683 William Penn signed a friendship treaty with Lenni Lenape Indians in Pennsylvania. 1700 Russia gave up its Black Sea fleet as part of a truce with the Ottoman Empire. 1758 British and Hanoverian armies defeated the French at Krefeld in Germany. 1760 The Austrians defeated the Prussians at Landshut, Germany. 1757 Robert Clive defeated the Indians at Plassey and won control of Bengal. 1836 The U.S. Congress approved the Deposit Act, which contained a provision for turning over surplus federal revenue to the states. 1848 A bloody insurrection of workers in Paris erupted. 1865 Confederate General Stand Watie, who was also a Cherokee chief, surrendered the last sizable Confederate army at Fort Towson, in the Oklahoma Territory. 1868 Christopher Latham Sholes received a patent for an invention that he called a "Type-Writer." 1884 A Chinese Army defeated the French at Bacle, Indochina. 1902 Germany, Austria-Hungary, and Italy renewed the Triple Alliance for a 12 year duration. 1904 The first American motorboat race got underway on the Hudson River in New York. 1926 The first lip reading tournament in America was held in Philadelphia, PA. 1931 Wiley Post and Harold Gatty took off from New York on the first round-the-world flight in a single-engine plane. 1934 Italy gained the right to colonize Albania after defeating the country. 1947 The U.S. Senate joined the House in overriding President Truman's veto of the Taft-Hartley Act. 1951 Soviet U.N. delegate Jacob Malik proposed cease-fire discussions in the Korean War. 1952 The U.S. Air Force bombed power plants on Yalu River, Korea. 1956 Gamal Abdel Nasser was elected president of Egypt. 1966 Civil Rights marchers in Mississippi were dispersed by tear gas. 1972 U.S. President Nixon and White House chief of staff H.R. Haldeman discussed a plan to use the CIA to obstruct the FBI's Watergate investigation. 2003 Apple Computer Inc. unveiled the new Power Mac desktop computer. 2004 The U.S. proposed that North Korea agree to a series of nuclear disarmament measures over a three-month period in exchange for economic benefits. They were not interested. 2013 In Arizona, aerialist Nik Wallenda completed a quarter mile tightrope walk over the Little Colorado River Gorge. 2015 NASA's Mars Odyssey completed its 60,000th orbit around Mars. The spacecraft entered orbit on October 23, 2001. 2015 Verizon announced it had completed its $4.4 billion purchase of AOL, Inc. 2017 In Los Angeles, CA, the Wilshire Grand Center opened. It opened as the tallest building west of the Mississippi at 1,100 feet. 2021 Do smiled. |
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