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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, December 10, in 1845, British civil engineer Robert Thompson patented the first pneumatic tires. ____________________________________________________ Bonehed Award: Teen charged with murder after showing off bloody body on Instagram _____________________________________________________ Q Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth. --- Lillian Hellman (1905 - 1984) Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak. --- Jay Leno (1950 - ) ____________________________________________________ Jill, in the personnel office received an email requesting a listing of the department staff broken down by age and sex. She sent this reply... "Attached is a list of our staff. We currently have no one broken down by age or sex. However, we do have a few alcoholics." __________________________________________________ "I play golf in the low 80's," the little old man was telling one of the young boys at the club. "Wow," said the young man, "that's pretty impressive." "Not really," said the little old man. "Any hotter and I'd probably have a stroke." __________________________________________________ An International Bonehead Award has been earned by Joshua Cooper, 16, Bensalem, Pennsylvania, USA Teen charged with murder after showing off bloody body on Instagram 16-year-old Pennsylvania boy has been charged with murder after police say he called a friend on Instagram, showed a video of the victim covered in blood and asked for help disposing the body. Joshua Cooper was arrested Friday evening at his home in the Top of the Ridge Trailer Park in Bensalem, about 28 miles northeast of Philadelphia. Police responded to the home after receiving a 911 call from a woman who told dispatchers that her daughter received a disturbing video call from Cooper, who "stated that he had just killed someone." According to Bensalem Police, Cooper "flipped the video image and showed the legs and feet of someone covered in blood. He then asked for assistance with disposal of the body." As officers arrived at the home, Cooper ran out of the back of the trailer. "When officers entered the mobile home, they observed a deceased juvenile female on the floor of the bathroom with an apparent gunshot wound," police said in a statement. "There were also indications that substantial steps were taken to clean up the crime scene." A short time later, Cooper was located about a mile away from the home and taken into custody. After being arrested, Cooper reportedly told police "it was an accident," according to The Philadelphia Inquirer. He also mentioned that he was "going to jail for the rest of [his] life," and that "[his] dad is going to kill [him]," the newspaper reported. The girl's identity has not been released, but The Inquirer reported that she was 13-years-old and was identified by jewelry she was wearing at the time of her death. William McVey, Bensalem's Director of Public Safety, told the Courier Times that there was not a clear motive for the shooting. He added that the victim, who was not related to Cooper, was shot once in the chest. The suspected murder weapon was found inside the home. According to the Courier Times, Cooper told police he was cleaning out his father's safe and had removed firearms and ammunition from it before the girl came over to watch TV. Cooper was charged as an adult with criminal homicide, possessing instruments of crime, and tampering with or fabricating physical evidence. He was denied bail and is currently being held at the Edison Juvenile Detention Center. ___________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Murphy had been drinking at the pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar is closing. So Murphy stood up to leave fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that would sober him up. Once outside, he stood up and fell on his face again. So he decided to crawl the four blocks home. When he arrived at the door he stood up and fell flat on his face. He managed to crawl through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into the bed and was sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing ver him, shouting,"SO YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING AGAIN!" Putting on an innocent look, and intent on bluffing it out he said, "What makes you say that?" "The pub just called; you left your wheelchair there again!" ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ "The young army doctor was stationed at a remote dispensary in the South Pacific. One day he was puzzled about treatment for one of his patients. He radioed a base hospital: 'Have case of beriberi. What shall I do?' A prankster got hold of the message. This was the reply: 'Give it to the Marines. They'll drink anything.' (Beriberi is rotten gums due to lack of vitamin C) ___________________________________________________ Blair _________________________________________________ Two women were at a bar. One looked at the other and said, "You know, 80 percent of all men think the best way to end a fight is to make love." "Well," said the other, "that would certainly revolutionize hockey!" _______________________________________________ Thanks to Liz for this story: I pulled into a crowded parking lot and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever had fresh air. She was stretched out on the back seat, and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, "Now you stay. Do you hear me? Stay!" The driver of a nearby car gave me a startled look. "I don't know about you, lady," he said incredulously. "But I usually just put my car in park." __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ My sister Tammy went through knee surgery a few weeks ago. I called her to see how she was doing. My nephew Bryan answered the phone. "Hello?" he whispered. "Hey, B, how's your mama?" "She's sleeping," he whispered again. "She go back to the doctor for a checkup?" "Yeah. She got some medicine," he said softly. "She's doing ok." "All right. Don't wake her up. Just tell her I called. What are you doing, by the way?" Again, softly, "Practicing on my drums." ________________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Ella Re: Bouncing spam Dear Webby I have always been bouncing spam back at the sender, but now my daughter told me that you had written once that was a dumb idea. She couldn't remember the details, though, and told me to write you myself. So, what's the story with bouncing spam? Ella Dear Ella The only email to bounce is when your mother-in-law writes that she will come for an uninvited but extended visit. Spammers never use their own address as the sender address, and often they even forge the recipient's address as the sender address. Not all, but some spammers use a collector address to catch all the bounces. They can tell if the mail was bounced by a spam control program. A fake bounce to them is confirmation that the address works, and they sell it as "guaranteed live". Except for the ONE exception mentioned above, bouncing does not work in your favor. Have FUN DearWebby _____________________________________________________ During the weeks before Jill's wedding, she was terribly anxious about making some mistakes at the ceremony. The minister reassured her several times, pointing out that the service was not difficult and she will do just fine. "All you have to remember," he said, "is that when you enter the church you walk up the AISLE. The groom and best man will be waiting before the ALTAR. Then I shall request the congregation to sing a HYMN....then we shall get on with the ceremony. All you have to remember is the order in which those things happen and you can't go wrong." The happy day finally arrived, and the bridegroom waited nervously for his bride to appear. When she arrived and stood alongside him, he heard her quietly repeating to herself, "Aisle, altar, hymn, aisle, altar, hymn." Or, as it sounded to him, "I'll alter him!" _____________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's News no sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. ____________________________________________________ Today, December 10 in 1520, Martin Luther publicly burned the papal edict. The papacy demanded that he recant or face excommunication. Luther refused and was formally expelled from the church in January 1521. 1768, The Royal Academy of Arts was founded in London by George III. Joshua Reynolds was its first president. 1830, Emily Dickinson was born in Amherst, MA. Only seven of her works were published while she was alive. 1845, British civil engineer Robert Thompson patented the first pneumatic tires. 1851, American librarian Melvil Dewey was born. He created the "Dewey Decimal Classification" system. 1869, Women were granted the right to vote in the Wyoming Territory. 1898, A treaty was signed in Paris that officially ended the Spanish-American War. Also, Cuba became independent of Spain. 1901, The first Nobel prizes were awarded. 1906, U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt became the first American to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, for helping mediate an end to the Russo-Japanese War. 1931, Jane Addams became a co-recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize, she was the first American woman to do so. 1939, The National Football League's attendance exeeded 1 million in a season for the first time. 1941, Japan invaded the Philippines. 1941, The Royal Naval battleships Prince of Wales and Repulse were sunk by Japanese aircraft in the Battle of Malaya. 1948, The United Nations General Assembly adopted its Universal Declaration on Human Rights. 1950, Dr. Ralph J. Bunche was presented the Nobel Peace Prize. He was the first African-American to receive the award. Bunche was awarded the prize for his efforts in mediation between Israel and neighboring Arab states. 1953, Hugh Hefner published the first "Playboy" magazine with an investment of $7,600. 1958, The first domestic passenger jet flight took place in the U.S. when 111 passengers flew from New York to Miami on a National Airlines Boeing 707. 1962, Frank Gifford (New York Giants) was on the cover of "Sports Illustrated." 1964, In Oslo, Norway, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. received the Nobel Peace Prize. He was the youngest person to receive the award. 1980, South Carolina Representative John W. Jenretter resigned to avoid being expelled from the U.S. House of Representatives following his conviction on charges to the FBI's Abscam investigation. 1982, The Law of the Sea Convention was signed by 118 countries in Montego Bay, Jamaica. 23 nations and the U.S. were excluded. 1983, Raul Alfonsin was inaugurated as Argentina's first civilian president after nearly eight years of military rule. 1984, South African Bishop Desmond Tutu received the Nobel Peace Prize. 1990, The U.S. Food & Drug Administration approved Norplant, a long-acting contraceptive implant. 1991, The play Revival "The Crucible" opened. 1992, Oregon Senator Bob Packwood apologized for what he called "unwelcome and offensive" actions toward women. However, he refused to resign. 1993, The crew of the space shuttle Endeavor deployed the repaired Hubble Space Telescope into Earth's orbit. 1994, Advertising executive Thomas Mosser of North Caldwell, NJ, was killed by a mail bomb that was blamed on the Unabomber. 1994, Yasser Arafat, Shimon Peres and Yitzhak Rabin received the Nobel Peace Prize. They pledged to pursue their mission of healing the Middle East. 1995, The first U.S. Marines arrived in the Bosnian capital of Sarajevo to join NATO soldiers sent to enforce peace in the former Yugoslavia. 1996, South Africa's President Mandela signed into law a new democratic constitution, completing the country's transition from white-minority rule to a non-racial democracy. 1998, Six astronauts opened the doors to the new international space station 250 miles above the Earth's surface. 1998, The Palestinian leadership scrapped constitutional clauses that rejected Israel's existence. 1999, After three years under suspicion of being a spy for China, computer scientist Wen Ho Lee was arrested. He was charged with removing secrets from the Los Alamos weapons lab. Lee later pled guilty to one count of downloading restricted data to tape and was freed. The other 58 counts were dropped. 2003, The U.S. Supreme Court upheld new restrictions on political advertising in the weeks before an election. The court did strike down two provisions of the new law that involved a ban on political contibutions from those too young to vote and a limitation on some party spending. (McConnell v. FEC, 02-1674) 2003, The U.S. barred firms based in certain countries, opponents of the Iraq war, from bidding on Iraqi reconstruction projects. The ban did not prevent companies from winning subcontracts. 2007, Cristina Fernandez was sworn in as Argentina's first elected female president. 2022 Do smiled.
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