Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, November 28 If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! Thank you, Richard!! ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Naked women assault cops ____________________________________ Today, November 26 in 2010 WikiLeaks released to the public more than 250,000 U.S. diplomatic cables. About 100,000 were marked "secret" or "confidential." _____________________________________________________ The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too. --- Oscar Levant (1906 - 1972) _____________________________________________________ A tenant in an apartment house phoned the police that there was a fight going on in the apartment right over him. So when the policeman arrived at the upstairs apartment, he heard furniture being thrown around and signs of a good old family brawl. He rapped on the door with his nightstick and a very determined and disheveled woman opened the door. "Who's head of the family here?" "You just wait a minute and I'll tell you. That's what we're trying to settle inside!" _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Two tourists were driving through Nova Scotia. As they were approaching Tatamagouche, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the employee," Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are...very slowly?" The girl leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrr ..... gerrrrrr ........ Keeeeng! _________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kadie Naumann, Kyla Cole, Myrtle Beach, Floriduh Naked SC women assault cops The South Carolina women are facing indecent exposure charges after a late-night skinny dipping session went sideways, police report. Responding to an 11 PM noise complaint Monday, cops found Naumann, 23, and Cole, 32, completely nude at the swimming pool of an apartment complex near Myrtle Beach. The women, guests of a resident, did not have bathing suits with them so they decided to swim in the nude, according to a Horry County Police Department report. The duo and two friends, police noted, appeared highly intoxicated. As cops sought to do a warrants check on the quartet, Naumann (seen above, at left) and Cole began to walk away, ignoring a police demand to remain in place. Naumann then became belligerent and allegedly delivered a mule kick to a male cops genitals. Both women were then arrested for indecent exposure, a misdemeanor. Naumann was also charged with assaulting a police officer. Naumann and Cole were released from jail Tuesday afternoon upon posting bond ($5000 for Naumann, $2500 for Cole). DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Ralph RE: Refill ink Dear Webby, There are a lot of ads that I see for refilling your own Ink Cartridges. I have a LexMark X73 printer. How do I know that the inks in the refill cartridges are compatible with my printer. Ralph Dear Ralph The respectable ink companies like AtlanticInkjet have the exactly right ink and kits for each different printer and copier. Beware of inks advertised by spammers! Always remember, spammers lie. If the spammers start lying and cheating in the subject line and return address of their spam, you can expect a lot more lying and cheating later! Just stick to honest companies who don't spam, and you'll be fine. We have been using ink from AtlanticInkjet.com for decades and many printers, and never had any problem at all. Get a refill kit for your printer first. With AtlanticInkjet.com that comes in a sturdy toolbox the size of a thick book. When the ink in the kit is used up, then just get the bottles. For home use you can get small bottles, for business use you can get big one quart bottles. The toolboxes for the different printers, fax machines, copiers and multi-purpose machines are all in different colors and sit on the shelf like thick books. Each kit also has an illustrated instruction page made specifically for THAT printer. There is no guessing or worrying about any step of the process. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Starkle starkle little twink who the hell you are I think I'm not under what you call the alcofluence of incohol I'm just a little slort of sheep I'm not drunk like tinkle peep I don't know who is me yet but the drunker I stand here the longer I get Just give me one more drink to fill me cup 'cuz I got all day sober to Sunday up. ____________________________________________ A guy walks into a bar with an octopus. He sits the octopus down on a stool and tells everyone in the bar that this is a very talented octopus. He can play any musical instrument in the world." He hears everyone in the crowd laughing at him, calling him an idiot, etc. So he says that he will wager $500 to anyone who has an instrument that the octopus can't play. A guy walks up with a guitar and sets it beside the octopus. The octopus starts playing better than Jimi Hendrix, just rippin' it up. So the man pays his $500. Another guy walks up with a trumpet. The octopus plays the trumpet better than Dizzie Gillespie. So the man pays his $500. Then a Scotsman walks up with bagpipes. He sits them down and the octopus fumbles with it for a minute and sits it down with a confused look. "Ha!" the Scot says. "Can you not play it?" The octopus looks up at him and says, "Play it? I'm going to shag it as soon as I figure out how to get its pajamas off." ____________________________________________ One Sunday morning, everyone in one bright, beautiful, tiny town got up early and went to the local church. Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone was evacuated from the church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving... seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?" The man replied, "Yep, sure do." Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?" "Nope, sure ain't," said the man. Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why aren't you afraid of me?" The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years." _______________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today November 28 in 1520 Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan reached the Pacific Ocean after passing through the South American strait. The strait was named after him. He was the first European to sail the Pacific from the east. 1919 American-born Lady Astor was elected the first female member of the British Parliament. 1922 Capt. Cyril Turner of the Royal Air Force gave the first public exhibition of skywriting. He spelled out, "Hello USA. Call Vanderbilt 7200" over New York's Times Square. 1925 The Grand Ole Opry made its radio debut on station WSM. 1942 In Boston, MA, 491 people died in a fire that destroyed the Coconut Grove. 1943 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt, British Prime Minister Winston Churchill and Soviet Leader Joseph Stalin met in Tehran to map out strategy concerning World War II. 1953 New York City began 11 days without newspapers due to a strike of photoengravers. 1958 The African nation of Chad became an autonomous republic within the French community. 1963 U.S. President Johnson announced that Cape Canaveral would be renamed Cape Kennedy in honor of his assassinated predecessor. The name was changed back to Cape Canaveral in 1973 by a vote of residents. 1964 The U.S. launched the space probe Mariner IV from Cape Kennedy on a course set for Mars. 1978 The Iranian government banned religious marches. 1979 An Air New Zealand DC-10 flying to the South Pole crashed in Antarctica killing all 257 people aboard. 1983 The space shuttle Columbia took off with the STS-9 Spacelab in its cargo bay. 1985 The Irish Senate approved the Anglo-Irish accord concerning Northern Ireland. 1987 A South African Airways Boeing 747 crashed into the Indian Ocean. All 159 people aboard were killed. 1989 Romanian gymnast Nadia Comaneci arrived in New York after escaping her homeland through Hungary. 1990 Margaret Thatcher resigned as prime minister of Britain. 1992 In Bosnia-Herzegovina, 137 tons of food and supplies were to be delivered to the isolated town of Srebrenica. 1992 In King William's Town, South Africa, black militant gunmen attacked a country club killing four people and injuring 20. 1994 Jeffrey Dahmer, a convicted serial killer, was clubbed to death in a Wisconsin prison by a fellow inmate. 1994 Norwegian voters rejected European Union membership. 1995 U.S. President Clinton signed a $6 billion road bill that ended the federal 55 mph speed limit. 2010 WikiLeaks released to the public more than 250,000 U.S. diplomatic cables. About 100,000 were marked "secret" or "confidential." 2020 Do smiled. |
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