Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, October 22 ____________________________________________________ Today, October 22 in  1797 Andre-Jacques Garnerin made the first recorded parachute jump. He made the jump from about 3,000 feet. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Today's Bonehead Award: Noxious fumes force plane's emergency landing in Dublin  _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  _______________________________________________ "Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it". --- Mark Twain (1835-1910) _______________________________________________ Benny Cohen was pulled out of the ocean by a lifeguard. His wife ran over sobbing, "Benny! Benny, what happened?!" "Madam, please don't get hysterical," said the lifeguard. "I'm just going to give your husband some artificial respiration and he'll be fine." "What!" Mrs. Cohen yelled. "My Benny gets either real respiration or nothing." ________________________________________________`   ____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________     An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  American Airlines  Noxious fumes force plane's emergency landing in Dublin  A passenger plane flying from London to the US was forced to make an emergency landing in Dublin after noxious fumes left two crew members temporarily unconscious. Paramedics who met American Airlines flight 729 after it touched down in the Irish capital took the staff and a passenger to hospital for evaluation, according to the airline. The plane, flying from Heathrow to Philadelphia, landed safely at Dublin at 1.15pm local time after the incident, which was said to have been caused by a cleaning product left behind on the aircraft which had spilled. We require paramedics to come onboard the airplane and render immediate assistance, one of the plane's pilots reportedly told Dublin air traffic control in a recording posted online by the Airport Webcams account on Twitter. Two of our cabin staff have actually lost consciousness, I think they're back to consciousness now; and there are general complaints about burning eyes and other problems with mucus in the nose, skin problems, the pilot said. According to the pilot, the incident had been caused by a cleaning product used at Heathrow that had been left behind in a toilet, then spilled and seeped into the carpet. A statement by American Airlines said the spill had happened in the galley. One passenger aboard the flight said that some people were feeling unwell before the flight even departed Heathrow. He said the plane was delayed by an hour as a result. The plane still took off and then an announcement later told us, about one hour into flying time, that some crew members are feeling ill along with a few passengers and we have to make an emergency landing in Dublin, the passenger, who was not named, told Mail Online. 
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Martina Re: Burning eyes  Dear Webby, I have to work at the computer all day, but after three hours my eyes get sandy and burning, and my eyelids keep falling shut. Going outside with the smokers for five minutes clears the problem every time. My doctor told me to get a different job, but on weekends, I can work on my computer at home 12 - 14 hours and don't have any problem at all. What is your advice? Thanks Martina  Dear Martina A 5 minute break after 3 hours is definitely a good idea! I would also recommend that you turn down the brightness of your work computer and change the default background of open windows from white to a light blue. Beige or cornsilk works too for some people, but I would recommend that you try a light blue first. Have FUN! DearWebby 
 Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
 At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't heard the question. "Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated. The witness still did not respond. Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question." "I'm sorry, your Honor," the startled witness said, "Five thousand is out of my league. I thought he was talking to you." 
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 "I think vests are all about protection. The life vest pro- tects you from drowning, and the bullet-proof vest protects you from getting shot and the sweater vest protects you from pretty girls." -Demetri Martin ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com font color="#009990"> Freezing Milk My family doesn't like drinking powdered milk. So to save money. I have a big freezer and when milk is on sale I buy a lot. I pour a little off each gallon into the milk bottle in the fridge and then I freeze the rest. when the milk in the fridge is getting low I just go to the freezer and pull out what I need. It takes about 24 hours for it to thaw. I just set the bottles in the sink and when they are almost completely thawed I put them in the fridge. I am never out of milk this way. By Suzanne  ____________________________________________________  
  
 
Walk on the Wild Side Episode 1 flashhigh 
 ___________________________________________________ "If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up," said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" inquired the teacher with a sneer. "Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing all by yourself." ___________________________________________________ Two teenagers were on a tour of a modern art gallery. They suddenly found themselves alone in a room of modern sculpture and were staring at the twisted pipes, broken glass and tangled shapes. One of them exclaimed, "We had better get out of here before they accuse us of wrecking this place!" ___________________________________________________ Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a three-piece suit. "This young CPA agreed to marry my daughter," said one. "No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other. And so they haggled before the King, until he demanded silence. "My sword! Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and we shall hew the young man in half. Each of you shall receive a half." "Fine. Sounds good to me," said the first lady. But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let this other woman's daughter marry him." The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "Indeed, the accountant must marry the first lady's daughter," he proclaimed. "But she was willing to hack him in two!" exclaimed the king's court. "Precisely!" said wise King Solomon. "That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law." __________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today, October 22 in 1797 Andre-Jacques Garnerin made the first recorded parachute jump. He made the jump from about 3,000 feet. 1836 Sam Houston was inaugurated as the first constitutionally elected president of the Republic of Texas. 1844 This day is recognized as "The Great Disappointment" among those who practiced Millerism. The world was expected to come to an end according to the followers of William Miller. 1879 Thomas Edison conducted his first successful experiment with a high-resistance carbon filament. 1907 The Panic of 1907 began when depositors began withdrawing money from many New York banks. 1939 The first televised pro football game was telecast from New York. Brooklyn defeated Philadelphia 23-14. 1954 The Federal Republic of Germany (West Germany) was invited to join the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO). 1962 U.S. President Kennedy went on radio and television to inform the United States about his order to send U.S. forces to blockade Cuba. The blockade was in response to the discovery of Soviet missile bases on the island. 1968 Apollo 7 splashed down in the Atlantic Ocean. The spacecraft had orbited the Earth 163 times. 1975 Air Force Technical Sergeant Leonard Matlovich was discharged after publicly declaring his homosexuality. His tombstone reads " "A gay Vietnam Veteran. When I was in the military they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one." 1979 The ousted Shah of Iran, Mohammad Riza Pahlavi, who had been installed in Iran by the CIA, was allowed into the U.S. for medical treatment. 1981 The Professional Air Traffic Controllers Organization was decertified by the federal government for its strike the previous August. 1983 At the Augusta National Golf Course in Georgia, an armed man crashed a truck through front gates and demanded to speak with U.S. President Ronald Reagan. 1986 U.S. President Reagan signed the Tax Reform Act of 1986 into law. 1991 The European Community and the European Free Trade Association agreed to create a free trade zone of 19 nations by the year 1993. 1995 The 50th anniversary of the United Nations was marked by a record number of world leaders gathering. 1998 The United Nations announced that over 2 million children had been killed in war as innocent victims since 1987. 1998 Pakistan's carpet weaving industry announced that they would begin to phase out child labor. 1999 China ended its first-ever human rights conference in which it defied Western definitions of civil liberties. 1999 The U.N. Security Council voted to send 6,000 troops to Sierra Leone to oversee a peace plan that had been signed in July. 2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 200 million applications downloaded. 2010 The Internation Space Station set the record (3641 days) for the longest continuous human occupation of space. It had been continously inhabited since November 2, 2000. 2019 Do smiled.