Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, January 25 Thank you, Josephine! ___________________________________________________ Today, January 25 in 1999 In Louisville, KY, a man received the first hand transplant in the United States. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Mercedes-Benz Flew Over San Joaquin River After Police Chase in Fresno, California __________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! __________________________________________ Just a note to say that I like the humor letters and don't stop doing it. They lift my day no matter how bad it is, so keep up the good work. Thank you, Joe _____________________________________________ Penis or Internet? Some folks have it, some don't. Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off. They think that those who don't have it are somehow inferior. They think it gives them power. They are wrong. Those who don't have it may agree that it's a nifty toy, but think it's not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it. Still, many of those who don't have it would like to try it. It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's up, but it makes it hard to get any real work done. In the long distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it for fun most of the time. Once you've started playing with it, it's hard to stop. Some people would just play with it all day if they didn't have work to do. It provides a way to interact with other people. Some people take this interaction very seriously, others treat it as a lark. Sometimes it's hard to tell what kind of person you're dealing with until it's too late. If you don't apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread viruses. It has no brain of its own. Instead it uses yours. If you use it too much, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently. We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant. If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big trouble. It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how good your intentions, it will warp your behavior. Later you may ask yourself, "Why on earth did I do that?" It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own devices, it will just do the same damn dumb things it did before. ________________________________________________` LaRita Nance ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor Here is the sailor in his immaculate 1968 Chevy An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and a Darwin Award has been earned by David Callahan, 58, Fresno, California Mercedes-benz flew over san joaquin river after police chase in fresno, california a 58-year-old man has died after launching his car approximately 337 feet off of a cliff and across the san joaquin river following a police chase. The man was identified as david callahan from fresno, said tony botti of the fresno county sheriffs office. Fresno police officers began pursuing callahan in what police identified as a 2014 mercedes on monday morning after he swerved and nearly hit a patrol car, police told cnn affiliate kfsn. Police began their pursuit and followed callahan. They chased him for approximately five miles as he drove between 30 to 40 mph before he suddenly took off, investigators told kfsn. Police then called off the chase, and it was not immediately clear why. The fresno police department has not responded to a request for comment from cnn. California highway patrols mike salas told cnn that the police determined that callahan drove northbound on dickenson avenue at speeds of over 100 mph and drove straight off the cliff instead of veering with the road. it appears the driver did not make any effort to stop, brake, or avoid a collision and was launched up and over the water of the san joaquin river, mike salas of the california highway patrol said in a statement. The cliff had a 60 foot elevation drop to the opposing side of the river, police said. The vehicle managed to get across the river and it sheared off the tops of trees as it plummeted to the ground. His car landed wheels down and rolled over 80 feet before resting on its wheels. he unfortunately was traveling at a speed between 100-118 miles per hour, salas told kfsn. he left the dirt road embankment off the san joaquin river from dickenson road and traveled a distance of approximately 337 feet. callahan was wearing a seat belt but died as a result of injuries on scene, according to the police. Investigators did not find alcohol, drugs or weapons inside of the car. However, police told cnn they have reason to believe he was driving under the influence of a controlled substance and that he was dealing with personal emotional problems that may have led to his decision to elude apprehension. it is unclear if driving off the cliff was intentional or accidental, police said. According to kfsn, callahan was convicted of domestic violence and resisting arrest in 2004, and he has been charged with three felonies and two misdemeanors in monterey county over the past 15 years. Police were also called to his familys home in july after his wife told fresno county sheriffs deputies that he pushed her and was using drugs. ----------- I have a hunch he was dead with the foot on the gas pedal when he left the road. They did not list any injuries. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Larry Re: Can't vote from Turks and Caicos Dear Webby, I am in the Turks and Caicos and tried to vote for you. When I click on Ezine Finder or Vote, I get a frowny face and if I put my arrow on it, it says "crashed". Anyway to beat this? Larry Dear Larry The voting by email confirmation has broken Dec 11. I wrote them many times, but because of my red cap, or some other silly reason, they won't answer me. Here are their addresses: support@cumuli.com, lewis@cumuli.com, stewart@cumuli.com suport@ezinefinder.com Lewis and Stewart are the web literate brothers of the wimin, who run the business. They don't answer me either. So it might be because of my red cap. They are still stuck in 2018, and voting by confirmation broke December 11, 2019. If you register with them, then you can set up FAVORITES, and vote for those. That part still works. Good Luck! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. >From Lillemor During his physical, the doctor asked the patient about his daily activity level. He described a typical day this way: Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake, drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush, jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake, marched up and down several rocky hills, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand and took four leaks behind big trees. Inspired by the story, the doctor said,You must be one hell of an outdoorsman! NAH,he replied,I'm just a shitty golfer. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Using Old Sinks As Planters By poehere One way to recycle old sinks from your bathroom or kitchen is to use them in your garden to plant succulents in. These sinks make a great border around your garden and add to the look of the garden. Succulent plants don't need much water. It is easy to use the sink and they have a drainage system. Just dig a hole in the ground and place the sink and the drainage pipe in the hole. Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun ____________________________________________________ | | 25 Absolutely Incredible Aquariums That Will Amaze You |
___________________________________________________ One of the teachers had a kindergartner come up to her and say that he found a frog. The teacher asked if the frog was alive or dead. The student said it was dead. The teacher asked how he knew. The boy said, "I pissed in it's ear." The teacher said, "You what???" He said, "You know, I went to his ear and said, 'PSST!' and it didn't move. So it must be dead." ___________________________________________________ One day there were two drunks on a boat drinking beer. All of a sudden, a big storm approached. It tossed the boat from here to there, up and down, left and right. When it passed, the drunks were stranded in a life boat for a few days. Just when they thought it was all over, one of the men spotted a bottle floating next to the life boat. He retrieved it from the ocean and, after giving it a quick rub, a genie popped out. "I am a genie, and I will grant you one wish," said the genie. The man who found the bottle replied, "I wish I had something to drink!" "Granted." The genie disappeared and the ocean became all beer. The other man said, "My God! Do you realize what you have done?" The first man replied solemnly, "Yeah, now we have to pee into the boat." ___________________________________________________ A pair of Irish ditch diggers were repairing some road side damage directly across the street from a house of ill repute when they witness a Protestant Reverend lurking about and then ducking into the house. "Would ya look at that Darby!" said Pat. "What a shameful disgrace, those Protestant Reverends sinning in a house the likes of that place! "They both shook their heads in disgust and continued their work. A short time later they watched as a Jewish Rabbi looked around himself cautiously and then darted into the house when he was satisfied no one had spied him. "Did ya see that Darby?" Pat asked the other in shock and disbelief. "Is nothing holy to those Jewish people? I just can't understand what the world is coming to these days. A man of the cloth indulging himself in sins of the flesh. Tis a shame, I tell ya!" Not long had passed when they saw a third man, a Catholic Priest, lurking about the house looking around to see if any one was watching and then quietly sneaking in the door."Oh no, Darby look!" said Pat removing his cap.One of the poor girls musta died." __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today January 25 in 1504 The English Parliament passed statutes against retainers and liveries to curb private warfare. 1533 England's King Henry VIII secretly married his second wife Anne Boleyn. Boleyn later gave birth to Elizabeth I. 1579 The Treaty of Utrecht was signed marking the beginning of the Dutch Republic. 1799 Eliakim Spooner patented the seeding machine. 1858 Mendelssohns "Wedding March" was presented for the first time at the wedding of the daughter of Queen Victoria and the Crown Prince of Prussia. 1870 G.D. Dows patented the ornamental soda fountain. 1881 Thomas Edison, Alexander Graham Bell and others signed an agreement to organize the Oriental Telephone Company. 1890 The United Mine Workers of America was founded. 1915 In New York, Alexander Graham Bell spoke to his assistant in San Francisco, inaugurating the first transcontinental telephone service. 1924 The 1st Winter Olympic Games were inaugurated in Chamonix in the French Alps. 1946 The United Mine Workers rejoined the American Federation of Labor. 1959 In the U.S., American Airlines had the first scheduled transcontinental flight of a Boeing 707. 1961 John F. Kennedy presented the first live presidential news conference from Washington, DC. The event was carried on radio and television. 1964 Nike was founded. The company was originally named Blue Ribbon Sports. 1971 Maj. Gen. Idi Amin led a coup that deposed Milton Obote and became president of Uganda. 1981 The 52 Americans held hostage by Iran for 444 days arrived in the United States and were reunited with their families. 1999 In Louisville, KY, man received the first hand transplant in the United States. 2011 A revolution began in Egypt with the demonstrations that demanded the end of President Hosni Mubarak's rule. 2019 Do smiled. |
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