Good Morning, Do, Today is Thursday, April 5 Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Drunk woman with child in car hits, kills two men as they changed tire Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, April 4 in 1998 The Akashi Kaikyo Bridge in Japan opened becoming the largest suspension bridge in the world. It links Shikoku and Honshu. The bridge cost about $3.8 billion. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ There is nothing so absurd but some philosopher has said it. --- Cicero (106 BC - 43 BC), Thomas Jefferson once said, 'We should never judge a president by his age, only by his works.' And ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying. --- Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004) Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work. --- Aristotle _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dave for this story: Aaron came home from school one day, all banged up, bloodied, and bruised. His father asked him what on earth had happened. "Well, dad, it's like this," Aaron began. "I challenged Larry to a duel and you know how that goes...I gave him his choice of weapons." "Uh huh," said the father. "That seems fair." "I know...but I never thought he'd choose his big sister!" _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Icicle on the north side of my house yesterday. _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ Thanks to Rosie for this one: I was having trouble with the idea of turning 30 and was oversensitive to any signs of advancing age. When I found a prominent gray hair in my bangs, I pointed to my forehead. "Have you seen this?" I indignantly asked my husband. "What?" he asked. "The wrinkles?" The frying pan now has a serious dent. _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Christine Noriega, Sandoval, New Mexico Drunk woman with child in car hits, kills two men as they changed tire Sandoval County sheriff's deputies say a 31-year-old woman was driving drunk Tuesday night when she drove her vehicle into two men as they changed a tire south of Algodones, killing them. Authorities charged Christine Noriega with two counts of vehicular homicide after the crash in Sandoval County. On Wednesday, sheriff's office Lt. Keith Elder identified the two victims as 21-year-old Michael Chambellan of Albuquerque and 28-year-old Lonnie Escovedo of Santa Fe. According to a probable cause statement, Chambellan and Escovedo were changing the rear driver-side tire on their Honda Civic along southbound I-25 near mile marker 246. At about 6:45 p.m., deputies say a Honda Pilot driven by Noriega sideswiped the Civic, fatally striking Chambellan and Escovedo. They were pronounced dead at the scene. When a deputy spoke to Noriega, the deputy noticed she smelled of alcohol and had bloodshot, watery eyes, the report states. She also had slurred speech and "her statements did not make sense," according to the report. Noriega also had a child in the car. In addition to the homicide charges, Noriega faces aggravated DWI and child abuse. She is jailed on a no-bond hold. Tech Support Pits From: Bob Re: Mix and match IDE and ATA Dear Webby Can you mix and match IDE and ATA hard drives? I want to use my old IDE drive as a second (slave) drive with my new machine, which has an ATA drive. Bob Dear Bob Some motherboards have sockets for both IDE and ATA cables, but unless you have looked yourself and seen both types of sockets side by side, don't count on them being there. On new motherboards usually they aren't. The way around that problem is to simply use a USB harddrive enclosure for the old IDE drive. USB harddrive enclosures cost $15 and up on-line. However, check PriceGrabber and see if a nearby store has a good deal. With low cost items the shipping costs can make an on-line purchase more expensive than a local storefront. With most USB harddrive enclosures you get a bunch of tiny screws to attach the drive inside the usually almost too snug enclosure. Don't fret if the little screws don't line up or are a nuisance. Once the lid is closed, the drive is held quite nicely. By the way, even though your old IDE drive measures about 4" x 6", it's called a 3.5" drive, because the platter inside is a 3.5" platter. If you ask for a 4" drive enclosure, they will tell you that you are on the wrong planet. Look for a 3.5 inch USB 2 Hard Drive Enclosure. USB 2 standard is 40 times faster than USB 1. Have FUN DearWebby The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of tears. "Darling, whatever is the matter?" he asked. "Sweetheart," she sobbed, "the most terrible thing has happened! I cooked my very first Beef Bourguignon for you, and I got it out of the oven to season it, and the phone rang. When I came back from answering the phone," she sobbed again, "I found that the cat had eaten it!" "Don't worry, darling," said her husband. "Don't cry. We'll get a new cat tomorrow." Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at four forty four a.m. by his ringing telephone . . . "Your dog's barking, and it's keeping me awake," said an angry voice. Bernard thanked the caller and politely asked his name and number before hanging up. The next morning, at precisely four forty four a.m., Bernard called his neighbor back . . . "Good morning, Mr. Williams. I just called to tell you that I don't HAVE a dog." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
A Congressman was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey. "If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it. But, if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise." ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Homemade Checkers You can make your own checkers game by saving plastic milk bottle caps. You need two different colors, 12 checkers for each player. If all your bottle caps are the same color, color the top of half the caps with permanent marker. Then make a game board using a square piece of card board. Use a ruler to measure and draw squares with a marker. A checker board is 8 by 8 squares of alternating colors, the same as a chess board. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com You can make a very nice checkerboard quickly by weaving 4 strips of dark and 4 strips of light paper, felt, or wood veneer into a square. Then cut some plywood or paneling to size and lay some iron-on glue gauze onto that, slide the weave onto it, and iron it on. After it has cooled, you can pour marine spar varnish or a clear epoxy on it. For a finishing touch, glue some felt table protector disks onto the bottom. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________ Scientists were excited this week at having isolated a brief sound which occurred immediately before the Big Bang. Apparently, that sound was "OOOPS!" | Bizarre beliefs in the Dark Ages |
___________________________________________________ Resume bloopers: "While I am open to the initial nature of an assignment, I am decidedly disposed that it be so oriented as to at least partially incorporate the experience enjoyed heretofore and that it be configured so as to ultimately lead to the application of more rarefied facets of financial management as the major sphere of responsibility." Try the Salvation Army Thrift Shop. They are always looking for empty shirts. "I was proud to win the Gregg Typting Award." Tell Greg not to apply here either. "Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job." If somebody calls you after 5:30, it will be a telemarketer. My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I have no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage. Don't call us, we'll call you. ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ | Today, April 5 in 1242 Russian troops repelled an invasion attempt by the Teutonic Knights. 1614 American Indian Pocahontas married English colonist John Rolfe in Virginia. 1806 Isaac Quintard patented the cider mill. 1843 Queen Victoria proclaimed Hong Kong to be a British crown colony. 1892 Walter H. Coe patented gold leaf in rolls. 1892 In New York, the Ithaca Daily Journal published an ad introducing a new 10 cent Ice Cream Specialty called a Cherry Sunday. 1908 The Japanese Army reached the Yalu River as the Russians retreated. 1919 Eamon de Valera became president of Ireland. 1923 Firestone Tire and Rubber Company began the first regular production of balloon tires. 1930 Mahatma Ghandi defied British law by making salt in India. 1933 The first operation to remove a lung was performed at Barnes Hospital in St. Louis, MO. 1941 German commandos secured docks along the Danube River in preparation for Germany's invasion of the Balkans. 1951 Americans Julius and Ethel Rosenberg were sentenced to death for committing espionage for the Soviet Union. 1953 Jomo Kenyatta was convicted and sentenced to 7 years in prison for orchestrating the Mau-Mau rebellion in Kenya. 1955 Winston Churchill resigned as British prime minister. 1985 John McEnroe said "any man can beat any woman at any sport, especially tennis." 1986 A discotheque in Berlin was bombed by Libyan terrorists. The U.S. attacked Libya with warplanes in retaliation on April 15, 1986. 1989 In Poland, accords were signed between Solidarity and the government that set free elections for June 1989. The eight-year ban on Solidarity was also set to be lifted. 1998 The Akashi Kaikyo Bridge in Japan opened becoming the largest suspension bridge in the world. It links Shikoku and Honshu. The bridge cost about $3.8 billion. 1999 Two Libyans suspected of bombing a Pan Am jet in 1988 were handed over so they could be flown to the Netherlands for trial. 270 people were killed in the bombing. 1999 In Laramie, WY, Russell Henderson pled guilty to kidnapping and felony murder in the death of Matthew Shepard. 2004 Near Mexico City's international airport, lightning struck the jet Mexican President Vicente Fox was on. 2009 North Korea launched the Kwangmyongsong-2 rocket, prompting an emergency meeting of the United Nations Security Council. 2018 Do smiled. |
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