Good Morning, Do, Today is Wednesday, July 20 Tomorrow I have to go to Calgary for injections into my eyeballs. That means no newsletters on Friday, Saturday or Sunday. Monday I'll be back. Beautiful full moon out! Have FUN! DearWebby With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
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Todays Bonehead Award: 27 year old grandson beats his 78 year old grandfather with his own cane. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 20, in 1801 A 1,235 pound cheese ball was pressed at the farm of Elisha Brown, Jr. The ball of cheese was later loaded on a horse-driven wagon and presented to U.S. President Thomas Jefferson at the White House. More of what happened on this day in history. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | | | |
______________________________________________________ Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them: that's the essense of inhumanity. --- George Bernard Shaw ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ It was after 3 a.m. in the fancy restaurant, and all the guests but one had gone home. The last guest was sleeping at his table. The cleaning lady, irritated that she was delayed in doing her job, turned to the restaurant owner. "I've seen you shake the old fool and wake him up five times," she said. "Why don't you make him go home?" "No way !" answered the owner cheerfully. "Every time I wake him up, he asks for his bill and pays it! You go on home. I'll clean his table." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | | | |
Tired of having to balance Cindy's checkbook, Mike made a deal with her; he would look at it, but only after she had spent some time trying to wrestle it into shape. The following night, after spending hours poring over stubs and figures, Cindy said proudly, "I've done it! I made it balance!" Impressed, Mike came over to take a look. "Let's see... mortgage 550.00, electricity 70.50, phone 35.00." His brow wrinkled as he read the last entry. "It says here ESP, $615. What the heck is that?" "Oh," she said, "That means, Error Some Place!" ______________________________________________________ Millie's kindergarten-aged daughter suddenly announced just before school that she needed to take a clean tee shirt to class. She told Moe that the teacher was going to iron an anti-drug message on it. Millie frantically swept through their daughter's room, finding nothing usable but one tee shirt that already had something printed on one side. She sent it off to school with their daughter. That afternoon, the daughter returned and happily showed off her shirt. On one side it said, "Families are Forever." And on the other, "Be Smart, Don't Start." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Charles J. Trione, 27, Caseyville, Illinois 27 year old grandson beats his 78 year old grandfather with his own cane. Police say a 78-year-old Caseyville man was beaten with his own cane, by his grandson, during an argument over who ate the last of the leftover pizza. St. Clair County prosecutors on Friday charged Charles J. Trione, 27, with aggravted battery and domestic battery. Caseyville Police Sgt. Gerard Spratt gave the following account: Police were called to the 300 block of Bethel Mine Road on the night of June 30 for a report of a domestic disturbance. The disturbance was over who ate the last of the pizza in the refrigerator at the house, Spratt said. He said Trione pushed his grandfather to the floor in the kitchen and then beat him with the grandfathers cane. When police arrived, the suspect was gone. The 78-year-old had head injuries which were not life-threatening. Caseyville Police and St. Clair County sheriffs deputies located Trione on Wednesday in Caseyville. The case was turned over to the states attorneys office. Bail for Trione was set at $75,000, and he remained in custody as of Saturday at the St. Clair County Jail. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Fanny RE: Carry data Dear Webby, I'm a teacher and will be at a different school this fall. At this school I get to ride the school bus, as long as I carry a big wooden spoon and keep the riots on the bus under control. I'm sure it won't be that bad, but they definitely advised that I don't carry my laptop along. I used the laptop mostly to carry the data between the school computer and my home machine. What would you recommend for carrying my preparations and homework between home and school ? Fanny Dear Fanny The most civilized way would be to get yourself a little web site, upload the day's data to there before you leave home, and download it into the school machine when you get there. All you "carry" is your password. Second best is to get an SD card and a reader. The reader just plugs into a USB port and makes the flash card another drive. Flash cards come from 2 to 128 GB They are small enough that you can sew a little pocket for one onto the inside of a regular belt. If you have a belt with little pockets for parking meter change, that will do just fine. The readers are between $9 and $20, depending on options. The $9 kind that I use works just fine. You can leave those attached to the computers and only take the little flash card along. With 2 GB you can easily fit a year's data onto it, and run your applications using the data right on the flash card. No need to copy it to the computer first. Of course, the first time you forget to take the memory card along you will wish you had gone with the option I mentioned first. Depending on how good YOUR memory is, you might find it easier to pay $2.50 a month for commercial grade web space. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Groan Alert Teacher: "Have you ever hunted bear?" Little Johnny: "No, but I've gone fishing in my shorts." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Deodorant to Remove Underarm Stains By Jackie H. I bought a beautiful white sweater at a yard sale. The challenge though was the sweater had large yellow armpit stains. I got all sorts of advice, use OXI, use vinegar, use lemon juice, use baking soda; they all failed. Then someone said use what "caused the stain". Hmmmmm, deodorant. I used a stick of solid white deodorant and rubbed it thickly into both sides inside and out. Let it sit in cold water overnight. Washed as normal the next morning and Wha- La! Beautiful white sweater that looks like new! ______________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________ Sam came home to Anni and said "Guess what? I've found a great job. A 10 a.m. start, 2 p.m. finish, no overtime, no weekends and it pays $600 a week!" "That's great," Anni said. "Yeah, I thought so too," Sam agreed. "You start Monday." ___________________________________________________ | "What a Wonderful World" sung by Meryl Streep, Bette Midler, Olivia Newton John |
____________________________________________________ While strutting through a parking lot in his fancy executive elevator shoes, Mr Benson's right foot slipped on an oily patch and after expertly tripping himself, he fell flat on his face. As he was lying there, a woman stopped her car and called out, "Are you hurt?" "No, I'm fine," he said, as he was trying to regain his composure and plan a way to exit without beeing seen by too many people. "Oh, good," she continued. "Will you be vacating your parking space any time soon?" ____________________________________________________ After spending all day Sunday watching football on television, Bob fell asleep and spent the night in the chair. His wife woke him in the morning. "It's twenty to seven," she called. "In who's favor?" ____________________________________________________ | | Follow the yellow brick road. |
| Today on July 20 1801 A 1,235 pound cheese ball was pressed at the farm of Elisha Brown, Jr. The ball of cheese was later loaded on a horse-driven wagon and presented to U.S. President Thomas Jefferson at the White House. 1810 Colombia declared independence from Spain. 1868 Legislation that ordered U.S. tax stamps to be placed on all cigarette packs was passed. 1871 British Columbia joined Confederation as a Canadian province. 1881 Sioux Indian leader Sitting Bull, a fugitive since the Battle of the Little Big Horn, surrendered to federal troops. (Montana) 1917 The draft lottery in World War I went into operation. 1942 The first detachment of the Women's Army Auxiliary Corps, (WACS) began basic training at Fort Des Moines, Iowa. 1944 An attempt by a group of German officials to assassinate Adolf Hitler failed. The bomb exploded at Hitler's Rastenburg headquarters. Hitler was only wounded. 1944 U.S. President Roosevelt was nominated for an unprecedented fourth term of office at the Democratic National Convention in Chicago. 1961 "Stop the World, I Want to Get Off" opened in London. 1969 Apollo 11 astronauts Neil Armstrong and Edwin E. Aldrin, Jr. became the first men to walk on the moon. 1974 Turkish forces invaded Cyprus. 1976 America's Viking I robot spacecraft made a successful landing on Mars. 1982 U.S. President Ronald Reagan pulled the U.S. out of comprehensive test ban negotiations indefinitely. 1985 Treasure hunters began raising $400 million in coins and silver from the Spanish galleon "Nuestra Senora de Atocha." The ship sank in 1622 40 miles of the coast of Key West, FL. 1992 Vaclav Havel, the playwright who led the Velvet Revolution against communism, stepped down as president of Czechoslovakia. 1998 Russia won a $11.2 billion loan from the International Monetary Fund to help avert the devaluation of its currency. 2003 In India, elephants used for commercial work began wearing reflectors to avoid being hit by cars during night work. 2016 Do smiled. |
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