Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, January 9 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Fresno Pedo rapist got 480 years ___________________________________________________ Today, January 9 in 1902 New York State introduced a bill to outlaw flirting in public. _____________________________________________________ I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. --- Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965) _____________________________________________________ Friend: "I suppose you carry a memento of some sort in that locket of yours?" Woman: "Yes, it's a lock of my husband's hair." Friend: "But your husband is still alive." Woman: "I know, but his hair is gone." _____________________________________________________ Norway ___________________________________________________ LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION "Places I'd Rather Not Live In..." Paradox, New York Crapo, Maryland Boogertown, North Carolina Spasticville, Kansas Hellhole, Idaho Purgatory, Maine What would Freud say about... Climax, Michigan Spread Eagle, Wisconsin Needmore, Arkansas (Clinton's Home Town?) Hardup, Utah Big Bogue Homo, Mississippi Intercourse, Pennsylvania Hornytown, North Carolina Conception Junction, Missouri Dildo, Newfoundland It doesn't surprise me that there is a... Rudeville, New Jersey Boring, Oregon Hell, Michigan Hooker, California Virgin, Utah Dulls Corner, Maryland Bowlegs, Oklahoma Volcano, Hawaii Beersville, Pennsylvania Fleatown, Ohio Burnt Corn, Alabama Two Guns, Arizona Toad Suck, Arkansas __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Tyrone Williams, 46, Fresno, California, USA Fresno Pedo rapist got 480 years A 46-year-old man was sentenced to 480 years-to-life in prison for rape and child molestation in Tulare County. Tyrone Williams was convicted for raping three female victims, two of them were under 14 years old, the Tulare County District Attorney's Office said. Officials say he molested one of the children between May 2014 to October 2015, and the second victim in April 2020. Williams was also convicted for raping a woman at a park in Visalia in August 2019. The district attorney's office said DNA helped law enforcement track down Williams. Officials said Williams is a registered sex offender and was previously convicted of raping a 16-year old in Monterey County in 1995. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Chris Re: CD drive write-disabled Dear Webby, in regards to writing to a CD, you should make sure that the drive has "recording" enabled. I had to go around to most of our department's computers and check that they were enabled after our IT staff installed new computers, none of them were and no one could write to their CDs. Why Microsoft found it better to ship them disabled is beyond me... Anyway, right click on the drive, click on Properties then on Recording, click the Enable box and you're golden. Chris Dear Chris That's not Microsoft, but the way most companies prefer their OFFICE computers set up. If they had ordered computers for HOME, the default would have been set to write enabled. It's not a Windows default, but a setting in the pre-install by your computer vendor. They know that most businesses like it that way. Ya see, some companies have this weird notion that while using a company computer on company time, it should only be used for work, and not for downloading movies and music and burning them onto company CD's for friends and relatives, who are too lazy to work for the company. Some companies even frown on the common practise of burning the customer list onto a stack of CD's a week before quitting! I know, it's terribly antisocial and undemocratic, but until Hillary gets into the White House, you'll just have to cope with it. If I was in your shoes, I would not brag about having defeated company policy. Somebody might get their knickers in a knot about it, and toggle the write-out-block on. When that is set by the admin, then you can't write to ANY removable media, not even USB drives! Have FUN! DearWebby Jackie and her husband were foster parents years ago. At one point they had a 4-year-old girl they were quite attached to. Jackie thought she had done a good job in teaching her manners, good behavior, etc. So when the 4-year-old said to her one day, "When I grow up, I want to be just like you!" Jackie's heart swelled with pride... until the 4-year-old finished her sentence... "so that I can reach the @#$% light switch by myself!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100." The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And it takes eight people to collect all the money!" ____________________________________________ One day, Little Johnny visited a doctor for a vaccination. After the doctor gave him an injection, he tried to bandage Little Johnny's arm. "I think you'd better bandage the other arm", said Little Johnny. "But, why? I'm supposed to bandage the injected part of your arm to let your friends know not to touch it." "Doc, you really don't have a clue about how my friends behave!" ____________________________________________ When Amanda's son was 6, they were going to Amanda's mother's house where he was going to spend the night. He had been playing on Amanda's nerves the entire day and finally, right before they pulled into Amanda's mother's driveway, she put the standard "mother's curse" on him, saying, "When you grow up, I hope you have a child just like you." He looked at Amanda with big crocodile tears in his eyes and said, "Gee, Mommy, I thought you wanted me to be happy!" ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today Jan 9 in 1793 Jean-Pierre Blanchard made the first successful balloon flight in the U.S. 1799 British Prime Minister William Pitt the Younger introduced income tax, at two shillings (10p) in the pound, to raise funds for the Napoleonic Wars. 1894 The New England Telephone and Telegraph Company put the first battery-operated switchboard into operation in Lexington, MA. 1902 New York State introduced a bill to outlaw flirting in public. 1905 In Russia, the civil disturbances known as the Revolution of 1905 forced Czar Nicholas II to grant some civil rights. 1929 The Seeing Eye was incorporated in Nashville, TN. The company's purpose was to train dogs to guide the blind. 1936 The United States Army adopted the semi-automatic rifle. 1969 The supersonic aeroplane Concorde made its first trial flight, at Bristol. 1972 The ocean liner Queen Elizabeth was destroyed by fire in Hong Kong harbor. 1972 British miners went on strike for the first time since 1926. 1981 Hockey Hall of Famer, Phil Esposito, announced that he would retire as a hockey player after the New York Rangers- Buffalo Sabres hockey game. The game ended in a tie. (NHL) 1986 Kodak got out of the instant camera business after 10 years due to a loss in a court battle that claimed that Kodak copied Polaroid patents. 1995 Russian cosmonaut Valeri Poliakov, 51, completed his 366th day in outer space aboard the Mir space station, breaking the record for the longest continuous time spent in outer space. 1997 Tamil rebels attacked a military base in Sri Lanka. 200 soldiers and 140 rebels were killed. 2002 The U.S. Justice Department announced that it was pursuing a criminal investigation of Enron Corp. The company had filed for bankruptcy on December 2, 2001. 2003 Archaeologists announced that they had found five more chambers in the tomb of Qin Shihuang, China's first emperor. The rooms were believed to cover about 750,000 square feet. 2007 Steve Jobs, Apple Inc.'s CEO, announced the first generation iPhone. 2021 Do smiled. |
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