Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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 Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, October 14 home4christmas.com is for sale! Make an offer! $50 minimum. You can use it for anything you want. Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award:  Ontario school teacher charged with sexually assaulting 10-year-old boy  ______________________________________________________ Today, October 14 in 1066 The Battle of Hastings occurred in England. The Norman forces of William the Conqueror defeated King Harold II of England. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way. --- Carl Sandburg (1878 - 1967) ______________________________________________________ Every revolutionary idea - in science, politics, art, or whatever - evokes three stages of reaction in a hearer: 1. It is completely impossible - don't waste my time. 2. It is possible, but it is not worth doing. 3. I said it was a good idea all along ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A couple of hours into a visit with my mother, she noticed I hadn't once lit up a cigarette. "Are you trying to kick the habit?" she asked. "No," I replied. "I have a cold, and I don't smoke when I'm not feeling well." "You know," she observed, "you'd probably live longer if you were sick more often." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ From ghoulies and ghosties and long leggety beasties and things that go bump in the night, Good Lord, deliver them to us! ______________________________________________________ Fetch! _____________________________________________________
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___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Krystal Wilson, 31 Ajax, Ontario Canadian school teacher charged with sexually assaulting 10-year-old boy Krystal Wilson, 31, was arrested by Canadian police after they investigated allegations made in relation to her job at Da Vinci Public School in Ajax, Ontario. The married teacher is accused of having an inappropriate relationship with a boy while she was teaching there from 2017 18, CTV reported. Wilson, who currently works at Roland Michener Public School, in Ajax, faces two counts of sexual assault and two counts of sexual interference. Durham District School Board confirmed a teacher had been put on leave. It said in a statement: 'The DDSB is cooperating with the Durham Children's Aid Society and the Durham Regional Police Service during their respective investigations. 'We will continue to work with our community partners until this investigation is concluded.' Wilson has worked as a model and singer in the past and has been featured in a promo for a radio station. She previously spoke about her love of teaching and music with website Smart Is So Sexy. Wilson said: 'I am blessed to be an elementary school teacher. 'Which allows me to not only impact our youth but share with them my passion for the arts.' CTV added the teacher may also be known to students as Krystal Clunis and there were reports her singing name was Krystal Voice. Constable George Tudos urged anyone who had information to contact their regional police sexual assault unit. Wilson has been released on bail but as a condition she is not allowed to be in the presence of someone under 14 unless there is an adult aged at least 21 with them.
From: Eva Re: Scanner Dear Webby I need a new scanner. My old one left with my ex. I don't need to scan very often, maybe once every second or third month, just my prescription before faxing it to Costco. I never have to scan color or high res. I do have a Dell color laser printer. What do you recommend, that is just barely good enough but cheap? Eva Dear Eva I would recommend a Canon Pixma MG 3000 series. It is actually a printer combo, but because of their ridiculous ink cost, you would not want to use it for printing after the initial set-up. Because of the ink racket, they almost pay you to take the printer. With some looking around you can find them for under $30. I got one about 6 months ago for under $30 from NewEgg. Shipping included. I printed 2 pages during the setup, and none since. It theoretically communicates with the computer wia WiFi, but in my case it wouldn't do that without a lot of farting around. So I just used a USB cable and connected it to a machine, that had a free USB port. That worked instantly. My ancient 90's PSP communicates with it and scanning anything is easy. It has a scan utility included, but I have not needed it. In PSP I hit ALT Fitq the scan preview pops up, I shorten or adjust the size, and hit the scan button. That is all there is to it. The scan picture then pops up and I can annotate it and fax it. I really doubt that there is a cheaper and easier solution available. Have FUN! DearWebby

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Mother had decided to trim her household budget wherever possible, so instead of having a dress dry-cleaned she washed it by hand. Proud of her savings, she boasted to my father, "Just think, Fred, we are ten dollars richer because I washed this dress by hand." "Good," my dad quickly replied. "Wash it again!"
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The old town blacksmith realised he couldn't work so hard anymore. He picked out strong young Bill Deville to become his apprentice. The old fellow was impatient and exacting. "Don't ask me a lot of questions," he told Bill, "Just do whatever I tell you to do." One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil. "Get the hammer over there," he said. "When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard." Bill is looking for a new apprenticeship. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Gas Tip: Change Your Commuting Habits If at all possible, change your work start time to avoid gridlock. Stop and go traffic hurts your gas mileage. Try to arrange car pools with co-workers to share the cost of commuting to work. Walk, bike or use public transportation to your intended location whenever possible. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Tribes react to Polar Bear clip from BBC's Planet Earth.
___________________________________________________ The Polish were upset because of their bad reputation. A group of them got together and approached a conference of Americans, Germans, and Japanese and asked for help on this matter. An American replied, "You must do something so the world will respect you. The Japanese are known for their technology and the Germans are known for their resourcefulness. We Americans have had respect since we helped win the World War against the other two. See, you need to do something world-famous." A German added, "Yes, he's right. Why don't you find a place in this world in need of a bridge that no one has dared build, build it, come back to us, and we will help publicize it." With that, the Polish set off to build their bridge. They designed it and worked six months and finally completed it. They then went back to report it to the group. The bridge was a beautiful bridge but it had one flaw: it was erected in the middle of the Sahara Desert. An American said, "No, no. See, that is why you have your reputation. There is no need for a bridge in the middle of the desert. Now go and dismantle it, and find a more strategic spot to erect it." The Polish returned to the conference in two weeks. One of the Japanese said, "Two weeks! It only took you two weeks to dismantle that bridge and build a new one??? That is amazing!!" To which a Polish man replied, "Well, not exactly. When we returned to the bridge we couldn't dismantle it because there were all these Italians fishing off it." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
So this guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Give me two single whiskies" "Sure" the bartender replies, "do you want them both now or one at a time?" "Oh, both now" replies the guy, "one's for me and one's for my little friend here" and with that the guy pulls a three inch tall man out of his shirt pocket. The Bartender looked at the little man in amazement and asked, "Can he drink?" "Sure" replied the guy and with that the three inch tall man supped back his whiskey. "That's amazing" replied the bartender, "what else can he do? Can he walk?" With that the guy flips a quarter down to the other end of the bar and asks the little fella to get it. Sure enough, he runs down the bar and retrieves the coin, picks it up and jogs back to the guy. "That really is amazing" replied the bartender, "Can he talk?" "Of course" says the guy, "Hey Jim, tell him about that time we were in Africa and you called that witch-doctor a Dumbocrat Wanker."
 Today October 14 in 1066 The Battle of Hastings occurred in England. The Norman forces of William the Conqueror defeated King Harold II of England. 1879 Thomas Edison signed an agreement with Jose D. Husbands for the sale of Edison telephones in Chile. 1887 Thomas Edison and George E. Gouraud reached an agreement for the international marketing rights for the phonograph. 1888 In England, Louis Le Prince filmed the experimental film "Roundhay Garden Scene." It is the oldest surviving motion picture. 1912 Theodore Roosevelt was shot while campaigning in Milwaukee, WI. Roosevelt's wound in the chest was not serious and he continued with his planned speech. William Schrenk was captured at the scene of the shooting. 1922 Lieutenant Lester James Maitland set a new airplane speed record when he reached a speed of 216.1 miles-per-hour. 1926 The book "Winnie-the-Pooh," by A.A. Milne, made its debut. 1928 The first televised wedding took place in Des Plains, IL. James Fowlkes and Cora Dennison were married in a radio studio. 1930 Ethel Merman debuted on Broadway in "Girl Crazy." 1933 Nazi Germany announced that it was withdrawing from the League of Nations. 1936 The first SSB (Social Security Board) office opened in Austin, TX. From this point, the Board's local office took over the assigning of Social Security Numbers. 1943 The Radio Corporation of America finalized the sale of the NBC Blue radio network. Edward J. Noble paid $8 million for the network that was renamed American Broadcasting Company. 1944 German Field Marshal Erwin Rommel committed suicide rather than face execution after being accused of conspiring against Adolf Hitler and the execution that would follow. 1944 During World War II, the Second British Parachute Brigade liberated the city of Athens. 1947 Over Rogers Dry Lake in Southern California, pilot Chuck Yeager flew the Bell X-1 rocket plane and became the first American to break the sound barrier. 1954 C.B. DeMille's "The Ten Commandments", starring Charlton Heston, began filming in Egypt. The epic had a cast of 25,000 people. 1960 U.S. presidential candidate John F. Kennedy first suggested the idea of a Peace Corps. 1961 "How to Succeed in Business without Really Trying" opened on Broadway. 1962 The Cuban Missile Crisis began. It was on this day that U.S. intelligence personnel analyzing data discovered Soviet medium- range missile sites in Cuba. On October 22 U.S. President John F. Kennedy announced that he had ordered the naval "quarantine" of Cuba. 1964 Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for his non-violent resistance to racial prejudice in America. He was the youngest person to receive the award. 1968 The first live telecast to come from a manned U.S. spacecraft was transmitted from Apollo 7. 1970 Anwar el-Sadat became president of Egypt following the death of President Nasser. 1972 In Iraq, oil was struck for the first time just north of Kirkuk. 1986 Soviet leader Mikhail S. Gorbachev charged that the U.S. wanted to "bleed the Soviet Union economically" with the arms race in space. 1987 Jessica McClure, 18 months old, fell down an abandoned well in Midland, TX. The rescue took 58 hours. 2002 Britain stripped power from the Catholic and Protestant politicians of Northern Ireland. Britain resumed sole responsibility for running Northern Ireland. 2018 Do smiled. 

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