Good Morning, Do, Today is Saturday, April 29 Pretty snow this morning again. Here is a pictuer of my Saskatoon berry bushes, not white with flowers like during the warm period, but white with snow. Click through for large size. Have FUN! DerWebby Todays Bonehead Award: Teacher, 28, and husband face jail after she had sex with student after her hubby plied teen with booze and watched them having sex. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, April 29 in 1992 Rioting began after a jury decision to acquit four Los Angeles policemen in the Rodney King beating trial. 54 people were killed in 3 days. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you. --- Larry Gelbart It is good to be without vices, but it is not good to be without temptations. --- Walter Bagehot ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Myrna I took my daughter to the doctor for her 2-year-old check. They had her do coordination tests, like stacking blocks, and they watch and see if they walk properly. And then the doctor said, "Allison, can you stand on one foot for me?" So she walked over and stood on his foot. He tried to step back and promptly fell over. _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Diana for this story: At dawn the telephone rings. "Hello, Master Carlos? This is Arnaldo, your country house caretaker." "Ah yes, Mr. Arnaldo. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?" "Um, I am just calling to advise you, sir, that your parrot died." "My parrot? Dead? The one that won the competition?" "That's the one." "Darn! That's such a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. Oh well...what did he die from?" "From eating rotten meat." "Rotten meat? Who was so mean as to give him meat?" "Nobody. He ate the meat of one of the dead horses." "Dead horse? What dead horse, Mr. Arnaldo?" "Why those pure breed ones that you had, sir. They died from all that work pulling the water cart." "Are you insane? What water cart?" "The one we used to put out the fire." "Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?" "The one at your house! A candle fell and then the curtain caught on fire." "What the.....!!! But there's electricity at the house!!!! What was the candle for???" "For the funeral." "WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL???!!!!!" "Your mother-in-law's! She showed up one night, out of the blue and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Tiger Woods Nike Driver." SILENCE.................... "Arnaldo, if you broke that driver, you are fired!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for this one: ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jessica Storer, 28, Derrick Storer, 33 Pandora-Gilboa, ohio Teacher, 28, and husband face jail after she had sex with student after her hubby plied teen with booze and watched them having sex. Jessica Storer, 28, bedded one of her pupils after hubby Derrick, 33, plied him with alcohol, a court heart. The romp occurred the morning after the pair invited the 18- year-old and other youngsters to their house. "Mrs. Storer engaged in sexual intercourse with the student while he was still under the influence of alcohol." prosecutor Lilly Shun said. Storer told the hearing the lad was not drunk. But Ms Shun said he had admitted being under the influence. Judge Randall Basinger asked Storer what happened. "I was engaged in sexual conduct with an 18-year-old student," she said. The blonde mum met him while a substitute teacher at Pandora-Gilboa High School, Ohio, USA. She could be jailed for up to five years after pleading guilty to sexual battery last November. Six counts of giving alcohol to a minor were dismissed in a plea deal at Putnam County Court. But she will have to register as a sex offender for life. She will be sentenced after the judge gets a background report on her. Her husband admitted three charges of giving booze to a minor and faces up to six months on each count when sentenced on May 16. Police Chief Scott Stant arrested Storer last December 21 after a tip off. The student told him he was at the teachers Pandora home on the evening of November 25 and spent the night there after drinking alcohol. He had intercourse with her the next morning and she admitted it when quizzed by Stant on December 13, said court records. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: John Re: Close-ups limits Dear Webby Regarding your explanation of fuzzy close-ups...Also note... every lens has a minimum focal distance. If you are closer than that minimum (usually the center of the frame) it will be blurry. Regards, John Dear John Right. Nowadays that minimum limit is 8 to 12 inches. It is always better to give it some extra distance, at maximum resolution, and crop the picture later, on the computer. Providing some extra light also helps a lot. Avoid dead-on flash, so that you dont get a flat looing picture and deer-in-the-headlights stare. Have you ever seen clip-art depicting photographers in the 1800s and early 1900's, holding up a flash pan. Here is one: Hold the flash, a slave flash preferably, up and to the side like that photogrpher does, to get perfect contrast. Slave Flash units are cheap. I have seen them for $12. For indoor or group photography in low light conditions a slave flash is an excellent tool. In the old days, before electricity, they produced the flash by igniting a mixture of gun powder and magnesium in a metal dust-pan. The biggest magnesium flash ever set off was for taking a picture in a stadium. It was rather smoky in there after that! Check Amazon for a battery powered slave flash suitable for your camera. It won't smoke, but make a huge difference with group or close up pictures. Have FUN! DearWebby And the world's Number One Thinnest Book MY BOOK OF MORALS by Bill Clinton with introduction by The Rev. Jessie Jackson That caused somebody named Jessie and two other people to unsubscribe, and somebody named Hilary gave gift subscriptions to seventeen people. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Reusing Refrigerator Baking Soda By Bella Blue [47 Posts, 5 Comments] No need to throw away that box of baking soda from your refrigerator when it is time to replace it. While it is not good for cooking, there are a lot of ways to use it up. I also use the baking soda in my bathwater. It's known to really pull out toxins in your body when paired with Epsom salts and a few drops of lavender essential oil. I use 1/2 to 1 cup of both Epsom salt and baking soda. If you don't believe me try it yourself. The color of the bath water shows you just how much it pulls out of you, it's relaxing too! It also helps clean off residue left by other cleaners and soaps. A tablespoon or two tossed right in the clothes washer can help with extra smelly laundry. Especially men's gym socks and pet beds, it really gets the smell out and whitens whites, but doesn't hurt darks. It can also be used to de-funk a washing machine or dishwasher. A couple tablespoons is all you need for that. I have used it to help remove bird poop from perches and cages. It is safe to use around them, which isn't true of most cleaners. Baking soda also works great for cleaning walls and grout as well. So now once the baking soda is done keeping my refrigerator smelling fresh I use it for cleaning, bathing, and I even use some sprinkled in the garbage cans to absorb smells too. ____________________________________________________ >From Arvid Last night, I was frustrated by a mole who was digging up the hill toward the house, leaving a trail of mounds. So, I went outside to take the hose and try to wash the mole out of its tunnel. As I left the house, I overheard my daughter saying, "There goes dad again, making fountains out of mole hills." ___________________________________________________ | | She's super talented.....but this is just weird. |
The butcher is just locking up when a man pounds on the door. "Please let me in," says the man. "I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don't come home with one. We have some guests coming over." "OK" says the butcher. "Let me see what's left." He goes into the freezer and discovers that there's only one scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man. "That one's too skinny. What else have you got?" the man asks. The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes, then brings the same turkey back out to the man. "Oh no," says the man, "that one doesn't look any better. You better give me both of them." Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ | Today, on April 29 1289 Qala'un, the Sultan of Egypt, captured Tripoli. 1429 Joan of Arc led Orleans, France, to victory over Britain. 1661 The Chinese Ming dynasty occupied Taiwan. 1672 King Louis XIV of France invaded the Netherlands. 1813 Rubber was patented by J.F. Hummel. 1852 The first edition of Peter Roget's Thesaurus was published. 1856 A peace treaty was signed between England and Russia. 1858 Austrian troops invaded Piedmont. 1862 New Orleans fell to Union forces during the Civil War. 1879 In Cleveland, OH, electric arc lights were used for the first time. 1913 Gideon Sundback patented an all-purpose zipper. 1916 Irish nationalists surrendered to British authorities in Dublin. 1918 Germany's Western Front offensive ended in World War I. 1924 An open revolt broke out in Santa Clara, Cuba. 1927 Construction of the Spirit of St. Louis was completed for Lindbergh. 1945 The German Army in Italy surrendered unconditionally to the Allies. 1945 In a bunker in Berlin, Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun were married. Hitler designated Admiral Karl Doenitz his successor. 1945 The Nazi death camp, Dachau, was liberated. 1946 Twenty-eight former Japanese leaders were indicted in Tokyo as war criminals. 1952 IBM President Thomas J. Watson, Jr., informed his company's stockholders that IBM was building "the most advanced, most flexible high-speed computer in the world." The computer was unveiled April 7, 1953, as the IBM 701 Electronic Data Processing Machine. 1974 U.S. President Nixon announced he was releasing edited transcripts of secretly made White House tape recordings related to the Watergate scandal. 1975 The U.S. embassy in Vietnam was evacuated as North Vietnamese forces fought their way into Saigon. 1984 In California, the Diablo Canyon nuclear reactor went online after a long delay due to protests. 1990 The destruction of the Berlin Wall began. 1992 Exxon executive Sidney Reso was kidnapped outside his Morris Township, NJ, home by Arthur Seale. Seale was a former Exxon security official. Reso died while in captivity. 1992 Rioting began after a jury decision to acquit four Los Angeles policemen in the Rodney King beating trial. 54 people were killed in 3 days. 1994 Israel and the PLO signed an agreement in Paris which granted Palestinians broad authority to set taxes, control trade and regulate banks under self-rule in the Gaza Strip and Jericho. 1997 Staff Sgt. Delmar Simpson, a drill instructor at Aberdeen Proving Ground in Maryland, was convicted of raping six female trainees. He was sentenced to 25 years in prison and was dishonorably discharged. 1997 Astronaut Jerry Linenger and cosmonaut Vasily Tsibliyev went on the first U.S.-Russian space walk. 1998 The U.S., Canada and Mexico end tariffs on $1 billion in NAFTA trade. 1998 Brazil announced a plan to protect a large area of Amazon forest. The area was about the size of Colorado. 2009 NATO expelled two Russian diplomats from NATO headquarters in Brussels over a spy scandal in Estonia. Russia's Foreign Ministry criticized the expulsions. 2017 Do smiled. |
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