Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, November 22 If you are in the USA, Happy Thanksgiving! Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award: Babysitter broke sobbing toddler's bones then dumped him near a hospital to die ______________________________________________________ Today, November 22 in 1963 U.S. President Kennedy was assassinated while riding in a motorcade in Dallas, TX. Texas Governor John B. Connally was also seriously wounded. Vice-President Lyndon B. Johnson was inaugurated as the 36th U.S. President. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory. --- Rita Mae Brown Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock. --- John Barrymore (1882 - 1942) "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying." --- Oscar Wilde ______________________________________________________ I wondered if I could get my husband to address Christmas cards, as I had so much to do. I arranged everything we needed, then hopefully pulled up a chair and said, "Come on, Dear, let's get these out of the way." He glanced at the array on the table, turned away and went into the den, only to return moments later with a high stack of cards, stamped, sealed, and addressed. "They're last year's," he said. "I forgot to mail them. Now let's go out to dinner and relax. You've been working too hard." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ As I drove into a parking lot, I noticed that a pickup truck with a dog sitting behind the wheel was rolling toward a female pedestrian. She seemed oblivious, so I hit my horn to get her attention. She looked up just in time to jump out of the way of the truck's path, and the vehicle bumped harmlessly into the curb and stopped. I rushed to the woman's side to see if she was all right. "I'm fine," she assured me, "but I hate to think what could have happened to me if that dog hadn't honked." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ >From Regina After a recent move, I made up a list of companies, agencies, and services that needed to know my new address and phoned each one to ask for the change to be made. Everything went smoothly until I called one of my frequent flier accounts. After I explained to the representative what I wanted to do, the woman told me, "I'm sorry; we can't do that over the phone. You will have to fill out our change-of address form." "How do I get one of those?" I asked. "We'd be happy to provide you with one," she said pleasantly. "May I have your new address so that I can mail it to you?" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dominick Smith, 33, Tulsa, Oklahoma Babysitter broke sobbing toddler's bones then dumped him near a hospital to die A babysitter broke a two year-old boy's bones because he would not stop crying before dumping him at a hospital to die. Dominick Smith, 33, was sentenced to life in prison last Friday for shaking, hitting, dropping and whipping King Owens, leaving the youngster with broken ribs and a skull fracture. Smith, who was cleared of murder but convicted of child neglect, also gave the toddler half a bottle of powerful sleep-aid NyQuil in a bid to get him to sleep. Two year-old King Owens was battered to death by babysitter Dominick Smith because he wouldn't stop crying. She was sentenced to life in prison Friday Smith's boyfriend Johnny Jones is serving 40 years in jail after being convicted of the same crime earlier this year. And King's mom Keyshawn Brown, who had enjoyed a lengthy friendship with her son's killers, will stand trial on identical charges next April, Tulsa World reported And King's mom Keyshawn Brown, who had enjoyed a lengthy friendship with her son's killer, will stand trial on identical charges next April, Tulsa World reported. During Smith's trial, her defense attorney tried to claim Jones was behind the appalling catalog of abuse suffered by King. But jurors agreed with prosection claims that the babysitter, who began caring for King three weeks before his death, was behind the violence. In her closing argument, prosecutor Andrea Brown said: 'Can you imagine watching that baby suffer for even a minute and not do something about it?' From: Len Re: Cold Laptop Dear Webby I know you used to carry a laptop on the dogsled in the Yukon. Do you know if today's laptops can handle the cold, for example being locked in the truck while I am working? Thanks Len Dear Len Absolutely no problem. Just open it up and let it warm up for a few minutes before turning it on, and it will be fine. Any condensation it attracts while warming up, will be baked out of it in the first half hour. Computers can handle the cold a lot easier than heat, and the most fragile part is the keyboard. Get yourself a cheap but comfortable 16" - 17" keyboard and stick it into your laptop case. The laptop will last longer, and so will your hands and wrists. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. A woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. "What denomination?" Asked the clerk. "Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well, give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
"Welcome to heaven, here's your harp and your tuning key." "Welcome to hell, here's your harp." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Remedy for Too Much Perfume If you still smell your perfume after a half hour, you likely are wearing too much. Try this: spray it in front of you and then walk through the spray. To remove excess perfume, make a paste of water and baking soda and rub it where you applied the perfume, then rinse off. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ | | Funny vintage inventions and gadgets. |
___________________________________________________ John was tasked with bringing the Christmas decorations up from the basement and start decorating the house and tree. During one trek up the stairs, heavily laden with boxes, he slipped and luckily only fell about two steps before landing square on his behind. His wife heard the noise and yelled, "What was that thump?" "I just fell down the stairs," he explained. She rushed into the room, "Anything broken?!" "No, no, I'm fine." There was just a slight pause before his loving wife said, "No, I meant my decorations? Are any of them broken?" ___________________________________________________ "Now tell me, Miss Jones," said the senior partner to the very junior employee, "what is the purpose of a vacation?" "To impress upon the employees that the company can get along without them," she responded promptly. ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A woman who plays cards one night a month with a group of friends was concerned that she always woke up her husband when she came home around 11:30. One night she decided to try not to rouse him. She undressed in the living room and, purse over arm, tiptoed nude into the bedroom - only to find her husband sitting up in bed reading. "Dammit woman!" he exclaimed. "Did you lose everything?" | Today November 22 in 1699 A treaty was signed by Denmark, Russia, Saxony and Poland for the partitioning of the Swedish Empire. 1718 English pirate Edward Teach (a.k.a. "Blackbeard") was killed during a battle off the coast of North Carolina. British soldiers cornered him aboard his ship and killed him. He was shot and stabbed more than 25 times. 1899 The Marconi Wireless Company of America was incorporated in New Jersey. 1906 The International Radio Telegraphic Convention in Berlin adopted the SOS distress signal. 1910 Arthur F. Knight patented a steel shaft to replace wood shafts in golf clubs. 1935 The first trans-Pacific airmail flight began in Alameda, CA, when the flying boat known as the China Clipper left for Manila. The craft was carrying over 110,000 pieces of mail. 1942 During World War II, the Battle of Stalingrad began. 1943 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt, British Prime Minister Winston Churchill and Chinese leader Chiang Kai-shek met in Cairo to discuss the measures for defeating Japan. 1963 U.S. President Kennedy was assassinated while riding in a motorcade in Dallas, TX. Texas Governor John B. Connally was also seriously wounded. Vice-President Lyndon B. Johnson was inaugurated as the 36th U.S. President. 1967 The U.N. Security Council approved resolution 242. The resolution called for Israel to withdraw from territories it had captured in 1967 and called on adversaries to recognize Israel's right to exist. 1972 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon lifted a ban on American travel to Cuba. The ban had been put in place on February 8, 1963. 1974 The U.N. General Assembly gave the Palestine Liberation Organization observer status. 1975 Juan Carlos I was proclaimed King of Spain upon the death of Gen. Francisco Franco. 1975 "Dr. Zhivago" appeared on TV for the first time. NBC paid $4 million for the broadcast rights. 1977 Regular passenger service on the Concorde began between New York and Europe. 1983 The Bundestag approved NATO's plan to deploy new U.S. nuclear missiles in West Germany. 1984 Fred Rogers of PBS' "Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood" presented a sweater to the Smithsonian Institution. 1985 Anne Henderson-Pollard was taken into custody a day after her husband Jonathon Jay Pollard was arrested for spying for Israel. 1985 38,648 immigrants became citizens of the United States. It was the largest swearing-in ceremony. 1986 An Iranian surface-to-surface missile hit a residential area in the Iraqi capital of Baghdad, wounding 20 civilians. 1986 Attorney General Meese's office discovered a memo in Colonel Oliver North's office that included an amount of money to be sent to the Contras from the profits of weapons sales to Iran. 1986 Mike Tyson became the youngest to wear the world heavyweight-boxing crown. He was only 20 years and 4 months old. 1988 The South African government announced it had joined Cuba and Angola in endorsing a plan to remove Cuban troops from Angola. 1989 Rene Moawad, the president of Lebanon, was assassinated less than three weeks after taking office by a bomb that exploded next to his motorcade in West Beirut. 1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush, his wife, Barbara, and other congressional leaders shared Thanksgiving dinner with U.S. troops in Saudi Arabia. 1990 British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher announced she would resign. 1993 Mexico's Senate overwhelmingly approved the North American Free Trade Agreement. 1994 Inside the District of Columbia's police headquarters a gunman opened fire. Two FBI agents, a city detective and the gunman were killed in the gun battle. 1994 In northwest Bosnia, Serb fighters set villages on fire in response to retaliatory air strikes by NATO. 1998 CBS's "60 Minutes" aired a tape of Jack Kevorkian giving lethal drugs in an assisted suicide of a terminally ill patient. Kevorkian was later sentenced to 25 years in prison for second- degree murder. 2005 Angela Merkel was elected as Germany's first female chancellor. 2005 Microsoft's XBOX 360 went on sale. 2013 The discovery of Siats meekerorum was announced. The dinosaur skeleton, more than 30 feet long, was found in eastern Utah. 2018 Do smiled. |
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