Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, November 13 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: Knife-wielding man assaults woman on Tempe light rail platform ___________________________________________________ Today, November 13 in 1994 Sweden voted to join the European Union. ____________________________________________________ Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another. --- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914) ____________________________________________________ A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions. "Davy, what noise does a cow make?" "It goes moo." "Alice, what noise does a cat make?" "It goes meow." "Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?" "It goes baaa." "Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?" "Errr.., it goes.. click!" ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fed, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?" "Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychologcal techniques, visualization, and association. It made a huge difference for me." "That's great! What was the name of the clinic?" Fred went blank he thought and thought, but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?" "You mean a rose?" "Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife... "Rose, what was the name of that clinic?" ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Michael Sangster, 41, Tempe, Arizona, USA Knife-wielding man assaults woman on Tempe light rail platform Police officials say a man was arrested at a light rail station in Tempe for allegedly assaulting a woman. According to court documents, Michael Sangster, 41, was arrested at a light rail station near Washington St. and Priest Dr. on the afternoon of Nov. 9. The victim, identified by investigators as a woman, was on the light rail platform when Sangster approached her and slapped her on the buttocks. "[The victim] yelled at Michael and told him to get away from her. Michael reacted by producing a small knife approximately 2"-3" in length. He held the knife out at the victim and told her I will kill you and I will slice your neck,'" read a portion of the court documents. Investigators say the victim tried to wrestle the knife away from Sangster as he got closer, and suffered a cut on a finger. Sangster later dropped the knife, and fled from the light rail platform. Officers on scene tried to stop Sangster from fleeing the scene, but he refused verbal orders to stop. "He continued to walk south towards a bus stop with a number of people, and a steak knife was observed in his hand. Michael was taken to the ground and placed under arrest," read a portion of the court documents. Police officials say Sangster admitted to slapping the victim's butt during an interview that was conducted after he was read his Miranda rights. "He acknowledged that he made a mistake and understood that he should not be touching people," investigators wrote, in the court documents. Sangster is accused of felony aggravated assault, misdemeanor assault, and misdemeanor trespassing. The report did not state whether his face got re-decorated by the lady, or the cops. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Brett Re: Compressing files Dear Webby There used to be a program for compressing files, so that they tale up less space. Is that still around? Is compressing a good idea? Brett Dear Brett The program still exists: Winzip Microsoft bought it, and if somebody sends you a zipped up file, Windows will unzip it for you. With that much convenience, is it a good idea? Not necessarily. If you want to bundle a big batch of files into one file name, Like "Mountain-trip1971" before sending them all to a relative, then it might be a good idea. They wil cuss at you for sending such a big file, but at least they will get all the pictures. Other than bundling many files together, it is more nuisance than benefit. If you have a space problem, just get a camera memory chip. A 512 GB SD chip is $25. That is probably much more space than your computer has. 512 GIGA bytes! Just tell friends and relatives that those camera memory chips are on your Santa Claus list. Smaller ones, like 4 GB are often door prizes at computer stores. Free, if you walk in. Get a bunch of those, hold the connector end, and spray paint the rest with flat white, so that you can write on it. Even 4 GIGA Bytes is actually quite huge and will hold many hundreds of pictures. The problem with those SD card chip is that they are so small and like to get lost. Tape a zip-lock bag onto the side of your computer or safe or wall, and tell everybody to always toss those memory chips in there, or else you will have a temper tantrum. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ The owner of a manufacturing facility was complaining in a staff meeting one day, that he wasn't getting any respect. Next morning morning, he came in with a small sign that read, "I am the Boss!" and taped it to his office door. Later that day, when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that read, "Your wife called. She wants her sign back!" ______________________________________________ A little boy was taken to the dentist. The dentist discovered that the boy had a cavity that needed to be filled. "Now, young man," asked the dentist, "what kind of filling would you like for that tooth?" The little boy replied, "Chocolate, please." ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Trisha has found inner peace. Her therapist told her a way to achieve inner peace was to finish things she has started. Today she finished 2 bags of potato chips, a lemon pie, a fifth of Jack Daniel's and a medium box of chocolate candy. Apparently she feels better already. ___________________________________________________ | Today, November 13, in 1775 During the American Revolution, U.S. forces captured Montreal. 1789 Benjamin Franklin wrote a letter to a friend in which he said, "In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes." 1805 Johann Georg Lehner, a Viennese butcher, invented a recipe and called it the "Frankfurter." Frankfurt was a fashionable city at the time. In Frankfurt, his sausage was called the "Wiener". 1927 The Holland Tunnel opened to the public, providing access between New York City and New Jersey beneath the Hudson River. 1933 In Austin, MN, the first sit-down labor strike in America took place. 1940 The Walt Disney movie "Fantasia" had its world premiere at New York's Broadway Theater. 1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed a measure lowering the minimum draft age from 21 to 18. 1956 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down laws calling for racial segregation on public buses. 1971 The U.S. spacecraft Mariner 9 became the first spacecraft to orbit another planet, Mars. 1977 The comic strip "Li'l Abner" by Al Capp appeared in newspapers for the last time. 1982 The Vietnam Veterans Memorial was dedicated in Washington, DC. 1984 A libel suit against Time, Inc. by former Israeli Defense Minister Ariel Sharon went to trial in New York. 1986 U.S. President Ronald Reagan publicly acknowledged that the U.S. had sent "defensive weapons and spare parts" to Iran. He denied that the shipments were sent to free hostages, but that they had been sent to improve relations. 1994 Sweden voted to join the European Union. 1997 Iraq expelled six U.N. arms inspectors that were U.S. citizens. 1998 Monica Lewinsky signed a deal with St. Martin's Press for the North American rights to her story about her affair with U.S. President Bill Clinton. 2001 U.S. President George W. Bush signed an executive order that would allow for military tribunals to try any foreigners captured with connections to the terrorist attacks on the United States on September 11, 2001. It was the first time since World War II that a president had taken such action. 2006 A deal was finalized for Google Inc. to acquire YouTube for $1.65 billion in Google stock. 2009 NASA announced that water had been discoved on the moon. The discovery came from the planned impact on the moon of the Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite (LCROSS). 2021 Do smiled. |
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